Scarecrow 3 - L'ultime massacre

Wow! Here comes another straight-to-video scarecrow movie to keep the cinematic masochists happy. If the cheap-looking opening credits don't tell you you're in for quite a ride, then the diabolically tragic "writing" sure will.

A diabetic kid gets tied on to a legendary scarecrow as part of his initiation onto the baseball team. Then the scarecrow goes nuts and starts offing people. Need I say more? This movie consists greatly of cheap effects that makes it look like it was edited with iMovie (note that spooky color inversion) and actors who apparently weren't good enough to show up on some late-night Cinemax special. Actually, thats not fair, as the actors didn't have much room to work around the abysmal script. Parts of this movie really seem like parody, especially when one character picks up his guitar and starts playing the worst song ever conceived by humans, with the worst lip-synching ever performed to go along with it. The "gore" here is also a major disappointment. In most B-movies such as this, there is a thick layer of cheap gore FX to make up for what the story and acting lacks. Here, the stuff is so cheap that it's not even fun. This movie actually makes "Jack Frost 2" look like lots of fun in comparison.

If you think this movie is the "worst one you've ever seen" then you probably haven't gotten deep into the world of straight-to-video B-horror. Regardless, this movie will cause you a great deal of mental anguish, no matter what your background.

The things I have learned from this movie are remarkable, things I never would have guessed otherwise. I do warn you though, there are spoilers.

1) Spring Break doesn't consist of many people on a beach, but instead a small group friends...

2) Daylight is a tricky thing and can disappear to night, then dawn, then night again within a period of five minutes.

3) Scarecrows can whistle.

4) Scarecrows can whistle under water.

5) Scarecrows can drive trucks.

6) Boom mikes are not obviously visible while shooting or editing, but very visible when watching the movie.

7) Mirrors don't show your outer appearance, but instead what you are on the inside.

8) Scarecrows are weak against defibrillators.

9) Scarecrows lose track of people very easily on an open beach.

10) A wrestler is no match for the mighty power of a scarecrow.

11) Being lightly slapped can knock you unconscious.

12) Drunk people like terrible guitar solos.

13) When a spear-like object stabs through someone, it sticks through them at a completely different angle.

14) If you are being dragged along a beach, screaming for help, no one will help you, despite there being two people on the same side of the beach as you.(Check the background beach around when the girl finds her dead boyfriend, where could those two people go to in a matter of minutes?)

15) When you spill your innards, they rest neatly on top of your skin.

16) Finally, people don't show any signs of worry when their friends disappear for many hours without explanation.

This movie is very informative, I hope you have learned something from it. So Yeah.

If I'd only known that this was the third in a series when I picked it up, I might have held back until I'd had the chance to study the first two instalments in some depth and subsequently come into Scarecrow Gone Wild fully prepared to appreciate all it had to offer. You'd think I'd have learned my lesson from the whole Kickboxer 4 farce (who is this feckless boy-child? Where's Jean-Claude? Why is Tong Po half his previous size?) - but no. Ah well, not to worry - at the end of the day I can safely say its charms weren't entirely lost on me.

In spite of several dull stretches as the film tries to make the lives of its mouth-breathing teenage sickle-fodder seem deep and involving, SGW is ultimately brimming over with so many top-quality "what the..." moments that it's impossible not to have fun with the damn thing. The Scarecrow drives! The Scarecrow hits the waves! The Scarecrow inexplicably gains the power of electrocution! The Scarecrow's head appears to be made of cast iron when someone clouts him with a fire extinguisher! It's all good stuff. And I'd never even heard of Ken Shamrock before this, but now I think he should be in every film ever made (alongside Christopher Lambert and Steven Seagal).

What's particularly endearing about Scarecrow Gone Wild is that everybody involved plays it as if they've been told it's some kind of intense art-house drama, although we do get the occasional flash of momentary self-awareness (the "watch out for the homicidal scarecrow" line near the end comes to mind). All in all, definitely one to remember, and roll on 10,001 Scarecrows... I think.

Scarecrow Gone Wild is one of the most campy and cheesy movies I have ever seen, but I liked it. I liked about 90% of it anyways. I think it went about 10-15 minutes too long. The movie itself was only 90 minutes so I guess you could say it lacked some content because I wanted it to end at around 75 minutes or so.

In the first scene, I though the camera work was going to drive me crazy. It reminded me of The Blair Witch Project. Turns out that was just the director's way of making the chase scene a little different and, I guess, unique.

I was looking forward to Ken Shamrock's motion picture debut and have to say that I was sorely disappointed. The guy's a great fighter and even a pretty good professional wrestler, but unfortunately lacks in the acting department. I really wanted to like him in this movie, but he didn't bring any of his strengths to the table. Plus, he was barely in the movie, and half of it was a stretch just to get him in the scene.

Matthew Linhardt, Samantha Aisling and Tara Platt offered respectable performances. Not to mention, Tara was quite a refreshing piece of eye candy. Something about her reminds me of Rebecca Gayheart, and you get to see quite a bit of her.

I'm undecided on David Zelina's performance, only because I haven't seen any of his other work. Seems he's just trying to recreate Stiffler from the American Pie series.

Despite the campy and cheesiness of this movie, it's what we've come to expect from this genre and I think most of us have grown to like it, at least a little bit. I give this movie 7 of 10.

The spirit of a comatose hazing victim inhabits a scarecrow and takes revenge on his tormentors. First question: What's up with all these scarecrow movies? I think I missed the beginning of the trend. Are they all inspired by the opening sequence of 'Jeepers Creepers 2'? Sadly, none of the ones I have pulled down from the shelves of my local Blockbuster have lived up that sequence. This one, however, seemed to start well. The opening sequence, where a young woman is stalked in the cornfield by the scarecrow works reasonably well. It is helped by the fact that the scarecrow is only seen sparingly. When used sparingly, the scarecrow makeup works well, but, as a result of overuse, it begins to look like a cheap mask. It looked as fake as the breasts of the woman who plays the nurse. Gratuitous nudity aside, this film has little to compliment. I was inclined to praise the video photography until I watched the 'making of' documentary that revealed it was shot on film. For video it looked good. For film it sucked. The performances were both overwrought and overripe. Granted, there really wasn't much actors could do with the script. It was stupid. The overheated relationships were never believable. Still, it might've worked on the most visceral level if the film was scary, but it wasn't. One of the things that hurt it was a whistling theme that revealed the presence of the scarecrow. At first I thought the theme existed only on the soundtrack, but later characters in the film started hearing it. I found it funny, and I would start snickering every time I heard it, which effectively undermined all the thrills. This might not be the worst horror film out there, but it does lurk dangerously near the bottom of the barrel.