Frankenfish

Not that I'm complaining or anything, but...shouldn't have been a movie like this even cheesier? Sleazier? Trashier? With a title like "Frankenfish" and a striking DVD-cover that proudly shows a monstrous cross-breeding between a catfish and a piranha, the least I expected was a more over-the-top and completely absurd homage to old B-movies and/or low budget creature features. "Frankenfish" attempts and, admittedly, often succeeds in being a fun and vastly entertaining little flick, but still the production takes itself slightly too serious and should gave gone straight for pure shlock! The film is gory...but not gory enough! Some of the characters are quite insane...but not insane enough! One or two female stars appear naked...but not... You get the picture. The opening sequence is truly promising and bathes in the same atmosphere as all those deliciously awful monster-movies of the 80's. A lonely fisherman living in the swamps of Louisiana is devoured by some kind of new water monster and, by the time local authorities discover his body, there's not much left but a rotting torso. An expedition of two (only two?) specialists is sent to the small swamp-community where they quickly witness more and even bloodier attacks by immense fish that appear to be genetically altered snakeheads. The aggressive and extremely hungry creatures are owned by an eccentric hunting-freak who was looking for a new challenge. Don't you hate it when that happens? The most obvious mistake the producers of "Frankenfish" made was to opt for lame CGI-effects. The teenage audiences that fancy this type of hi-tech computer tricks don't care for small films like this. They go straight for over-hyped video game nonsense like "The House of the Dead" or "Resident Evil" and always ignore the lowest shelves in videostores, where modest releases like "Frankenfish" are usually put. The more experienced horror fans that are looking for possible new B-classics wish to see old-fashioned and cheesy effects and make-up art! Apart from that and some other minor stupidities in the script, "Frankenfish" is a fairly exciting film with a good pace and likable characters. The death sequences are probably the best moments, as they offer quite a bit of ingenious variety. People get decapitated, dismembered, half-eaten cut up by fanning boats. The absolute coolest death scene doesn't even involve the over-sized fish and shows a poor (lesbian?) woman being shot in the head by an unmanned shotgun! That was just too funny. I guess they simply don't make 'em a terrific like "Tremors" anymore, but if this movie represents the next generation of creature-features, I'm more or less satisfied

It's the name that does it. Not only does it fail to make sense in context, it just plain doesn't work. If they really wanted to go with some kind of Franken-animal they could have at least picked something that started with 'st', like... a stoat. Frankenstoat. Studios, are you listening?

Anyway. Against all odds Frankenfish is actually no worse a giant mutant creature romp than, say, Anaconda - I'd even go so far as to say it could have made a passable cinema release. Everything (with the standard exception of logic) is handled competently, from the acting to the effects, and the tiny bayou community setting of the whole thing actually feels quite novel. It's not even entirely predictable, I guarantee you won't see at least one of the deaths coming...

It's also a fine film for playing Name The Actor They *Really* Wanted. Robert Downey Jr. and Michael Wincott are lock-ins, while Anaconda veteran Jon Voight would have been a fine choice to play the hunter (who is, as it turns out, the most rubbish hunter in the world). Come to think of it, if they'd asked Jon Voight he'd probably have said yes - he usually does.

Overall, it's a surprisingly not-awful piece of work, which still manages to be entertaining despite its not-awfulness. I wouldn't say I'd recommend it, exactly, but you could do worse. Sci-Fighter, for instance. Now THAT's genuinely awful film-making (and as such comes highly recommended).

A man gets eaten in the swamps, so the government sends in a cop and a medical examiner. They find a group of people with eclectic qualities, and one of the meanest and biggest fish ever to try and eat a human being. (This review should have a "Jaws" reference, but it won't... I'm not even going to write "they're going to need a bigger boat".)

Despite this film being incredibly cheesy (and this cheesiness leading to my lower rating), it was also really fun in the sense of a 1950s b-movie where things always had to be bigger. Backwoods swamp people are fun, as are hippie Rastafarians. And then we have Chinese mafia people working for a big game hunter who have women at his beck and call. It's really silly if you think about it (so just don't).

Some great effects are in this movie, as well as some really awful ones. The bad ones pretty much revolve around the CGI of the fish... although I still appreciate blood and guts in any form. The best effect for me was a shotgun blast scene (I won't say who gets it) that literally made me jump from my love seat and cheer. Yeah, maybe I'm deranged. You'd be deranged, too, if your idea of a good time was staying up all night watching "Frankenfish" and "The XXXorcist".

I also wanted to say that this film stood out in my mind as a film with a strong black lead. Aside from Ken Foree and maybe Tony Todd, horror has a long history of marginalizing black characters and often kills them off as soon as possible. But this film places a black man as the hero, without using his "blackness" as any kind of joke. (It's actually sad I feel the need to point such things as this out, but horror films are one of the last genres to enter the modern world.)

Anyway, you're going to find cheesy effects and cheesy acting if you watch this movie. The plot is also strange (the connection between the mafia and the fish is really strained). But I honestly liked it, so maybe this will appeal to you if you like those sorts of films... think "Eight-Legged Freaks", but without David Arquette.

I was not expecting to even like Frankenfish, but I did. The story is ridiculous on the whole, in the script there is a sea of corniness and eye-rolling cheesiness amid the odd sprinkle of wit, the characters are on the annoying stereotypical side and some of the effects are cheap. Despite all this, I did enjoy Frankenfish. The editing was not as choppy as I had anticipated and some of the locations are great. There is enough suspense and tense fun to make up for the ridiculousness of the story, the fish although not great in design(though I have seen far worse) are menacing and great to watch and while the lead is uncharismatic the acting is reasonably good. On the whole, not great, but I sort of liked it. 6/10 Bethany Cox

To my surprise, this actually turned out to be a rather amusing B-Movie. The characters, handsome cop, brainy female scientist, unpleasant young lawyer, taciturn Vietnam vet (how many Vietnam vets in the movies are ever eloquent conversationalists?) and superstitious Voodoo lady are so much cut-out cardboard, but the actors make the best with what they have to work with. Even the fish look like they are enjoying themselves.

There is the odd witty line, some great low-key action sequences and the Frankenfish themselves are great - chewing up most of the cast with great gusto and not without some excellent black humour.

There are some genuine surprises and a couple of unexpected deaths amid the usual B-Movie clichés. There's plenty of gore and plenty of fun. Not a bad way to spend an idle hour or so.