Lavalantula

A made for TV shlock by Syfy about giant lava spiders. You know what you're in for and you get exactly what you expect.

Steve Guttenberg (yes, he's still alive! He was unfrozen from the 80's) is an ex-famous actor, that somehow keeps getting into the TV news every 10 minutes. He encounters giant lava spiders, bad actors and terrible script and has to face them all - will he succeed?

The wooden direction and bad effects make the phrase "disaster movie" get more than one meaning. Terrible dialog, bad acting by the entire cast and awful direction - from staring into the wrong direction of the next effect shot, news anchor that is taken straight from a 70's students class of acting, car driving with exaggerated steering motions of the wheel which you haven't seen since the 60's, and up to a cop that stands behind a news reporter and keeps null signaling people who walk on the street. You simply have to watch this one.

This movie is wonderfully terrible and it goes straight into the "so bad it's good" list. Watch it with your friends, watch it when you're drunk, watch it when you're unconscious - you'll get a good time. Great stuff!

To its credit, the movie is self-aware (there is a hilarious cameo that I won't spoil for you) and it's not a "San Andreas" blockbuster-budget movie that takes itself seriously.

Conveniently, the movie is just 79 minutes long, but the last third changes from "so bad it's good" to just "bad" and finally to jumping the shark (or the spider).

Believe it or not, there is already a planned sequel.

I have no idea what other reviewers are complaining about, have they not seen a SyFy movie before? Did they expect a new 'INDEPENDENCE DAY' or what? This is a TV movie okay, you can't expect 100 million dollar special effects in a TV movie by SyFy.

So yes the effects are not that great BUT that's a big part of the charm with these kind of movies, and it's most definitely one of SyFy's better efforts, cheesy good fun.

For Police Academy fans it's a extra special treat because the lead is none other than Steve 'Mahoney' Guttenberg and not only that there are smaller roles by 3 other Police Academy actors: Marion 'Hooks' Ramsey, Leslie 'Callahan' Easterbrook and Michael 'Larvell Jones' Winslow.

And there are also multiple Police Academy references which observant fans will get and of course Michael Winslow gets to make a lot of funny noises which is his trade.

And co-starring with Steve as his wife is Nia Peeples who was 53 when the movie was filmed but looks more stunning than most actresses half her age.

So yeah, if you like these sorts of 'so bad it's good' movies plus the Police Academy films then I don't see how you could not enjoy this movie if just a little.

The rating I gave it might seem a little high, and perhaps it is BUT really come on people when it comes to SyFy TV movies this is about as good as it gets.

Lavalantula with Steve Guttenberg. I was fearing the worst with this SyFy channel film and surprisingly ended up enjoying it.

A cheesy B film with decent enough special effects as Guttenberg plays a down on his luck actor who finds that there are a series of tremors in LA and then a volcanic eruption that spews up giant fire breathing spiders. Guttenberg needs to get to warn his wife and teenage son. Along the way he commandeers a Hollywood tour bus, gets help from a one armed former stunt man and gets exposition from a scientist in the museum at the La Brea Tarpits.

In the meantime Guttenberg is joined by his former co stars from the Police Academy films, there are in jokes such as the Blue Oyster bar being destroyed and a rip roaring speech by Guttenberg which owes a little to Independence Day.

Fun, action packed, cheap, cheesy and even a little scary. A real improvement from the usual SyFy output.

So the success of Sharknado (why again?), has made things like this possible. This goes Meta too, with Steve Guttenberg playing a formerly successful celebrity ... sounds familiar? I guess you've seen Police Academy then. And he's not alone from that movie, also there are some other "stars" who do have their moment.

And while this is far from perfect, it does work overall, with some bumps and holes along the way. If you can dig the humor that is really setting a low bar, you will be entertained while watching this. It's made for TV and the effects are therefor ... well you actually have seen way better effects on TV shows. Then again, this has probably a lower budget. You'll either make excuses for it, because you love it, or you'll be annoyed by it to say the least. Make up your mind and enjoy or stay away ..

If you liked Mega Spider aka Big Ass Spider, you are likely to find a lot to like in Lavalantula. It's not a great movie as such, but it manages to be good fun and by far one of SyFy's better movies, considering that most of SyFy's movies are cheap, amateurishly made and terribly written that is saying a lot.

Lavalantula, as far as SyFy movies go, looks decent. Editing and photography is tighter than most SyFy movies, locations are colourful and atmospheric, the way the production is lit is less drab than usual and while there is the occasional cheapness and over-obviousness in places the spider effects have a menacing and never goofy look, are proportioned well and fit in the surroundings nicely without looking fake, in short far above the typical the SyFy special effects standard. The spiders actually have a personality (unlike most SyFy creatures), fun and believable as main villains (actually generating legitimate menace rather than unintentional laughs), and don't feel like they're used too much or too little. The music score is groovy and eerie, is careful not to overshadow the dialogue and is used appropriately. The direction shows great confidence throughout.

The script is surprisingly above-average, usually it's one of the worst assets of a SyFy movie, but while there is some cheesiness here and there the amount of hilarious snappy banter, some really neat references and endearing tongue-in-cheek humour far overshadow those spots. The story does feel disjointed and too stretched out in places (the writing for the son and mother did at times feel too much like filler), but it does something that not many low-budget movies get right, it clearly knows what it's trying to be and which audience it's aiming for, and doesn't do the annoying thing that a lot of SyFy/Asylum movies do which is trying too hard to be stupid and bad (when SyFy does that, it comes over as amateurish instead). For what the death scenes may lack in the scare factor, it more than makes up for it with the large degree of fun and suspense, and that the characters while not the best developed are far more likable than most characters in a SyFy movie and that the spiders are believable here is a further advantage. The acting is also better than average, amusing Steve Guttenberg and the other three Police Academy members are immensely fun to watch as is Patrick Renna and Nia Peeples brings some heart to the movie. They make their characters at least tolerable, and clearly know what movie they're in.

All in all, good fun if not necessarily a great movie. 6/10 Bethany Cox