Rottweiler

To call this one a dog would be way too obvious a joke, but it certainly is also an odd duck of a movie. It's set in a futuristic Spain (and filmed there as well), where a prison escapee, Dante (hunky William Miller) embarks on an increasingly weird odyssey to reconnect with the girl he left behind, all the while pursued by the title canine, an unstoppable cyborg with steel teeth. Much of the story is told in flashback, as we see the sequence of events that led to this point. One has to assume that the novel "El Perro" upon which this is based makes at least some things clearer, but it's hard to say just what the screenwriters and director Brian Yuzna are thinking, as this thing often alternates between utter cheese and incredible surrealism. It's extremely laughable; that chicken reaction shot has got to be, far and away, one of the brightest moments along the way, which speaks volumes for "Rottweiler"'s W.T.F. quality. It gets awfully repetitive, with tough guy Dante surviving one encounter with his four pawed nemesis after another, and gives Miller awfully crummy dialogue, even having him say clichéd garbage like telling the dog to fry in hell. The entire episode with the mother and daughter has to been to be believed, as the lady gets a look at Mr. Miller in the buff and forces herself on the guy. That does, though, lead one to note just how much beefcake is thrust in the viewer's face, with Miller obliged to do protracted scenes of nudity. Overall, the viewer may have a hard time wondering what to make of all this. It's not without some entertainment value, but, ultimately, it's just too hard to care about this story and the characters fail to spark much interest. The dog himself is pretty cool, though, and there's a sufficient amount of gore and nastiness to give the movie some spark. If one is going to watch it for the presence of legendary Spanish horror actor Paul Naschy, note that he's in just a few scenes, but he makes the most of his screen time, delivering a delicious performance as the villain, although he can't really save it. Prospective viewers should proceed at their own risk. Four out of 10.

In case you are slightly familiar with horror cinema, you must have heard of the name Brian Yuzna already. He started as the producer of some hugely successful horror flicks in the mid-80's ("Re-Animator", "From Beyond") but quickly went on to directing his own grotesque and spirited horror projects ("Society", "Return of the Living Dead part 3"). Personally, I'm a rather big fan of Yuzna. His movies are always very entertaining and stuffed with blood & gore, even though the stories are hardly ever impressive...or even 'good', for that matter. For his latest effort, "Rottweiler", the story is even completely and utterly retarded and then STILL this is a very amusing B-movie with loads of absurd aspects that genre fans will love! "Rottweiler" is set in Spain in a not-so-distant future (2018). In order to avoid further immigration, the misanthropic Kufard (small but terrific role for veteran Paul Naschy) arrests everybody who washes ashore Puerto Angel. One day, he also arrests the young American couple Dante and Ula. They were playing the rich-kids game of "infiltration", in which the players illegally have to cross country borders. That game is just asking for trouble, if you ask me... Some time later, Dante escapes from a prison-transport and heads back to Puerto Angel in order to save Ula, only he's chased by a partly robotic and bloodthirsty Rottweiler that rips every living thing to pieces. The movie is truly incoherent, with extended and unnecessary flashbacks, and often provokes unintentional chuckles. It's fast-paced, though, and contains loads of sleaze and bloody deaths. The Terminatoresque dog looks thrilling and the music as wells as the opening credits are very funky. The acting is atrocious, but that what happens if you recruits cheap Spanish actors and force them to play American characters. The lead guy looks a lot like Orlando Bloom but his acting skills are even worse. "Rottweiler" surely is a meaningless horror film, but it remains fun to watch.

Brian Yuzna's directorial career started off well with the innovative and freaky Society, followed by a serviceable sequel to Re-animator and the excellent Return of the Living Dead III; but since setting up his own production company, Fantastic Factory, in Spain, Yuzna's output has been surprisingly bad, with Rottweiler being the biggest dog of them all.

Set in the near future, the film sees a risk-taking young couple, Dante and Ula (William Miller and Irene Montalà) caught by the authorities as they play a game called 'infiltration', which calls for them to try and illegally enter a country without papers. Dante is sent to a high security prison, but is soon presented with an opportunity to escape into the surrounding wilderness, where he finds himself relentlessly pursued by a savage, cyborg tracker dog.

Admittedly, the above synopsis sounds like it could shape up to be a quality piece of sci-fi/horror entertainment—kinda like Westworld crossed with Cujo—but that is only half the story, and how the plot develops after Dante's prison break is simply insane.

However, since the sheer unpredictability of the narrative is the one of the only enjoyable aspects of the film (the other main 'positive' being the gore), I'm not going to spoil things by revealing too much, suffice to say that you should prepare yourself for some unbelievably poorly executed action, including a silly chase sequence involving numerous shots of Dante's naked ass, the least harrowing rape scene in movie history, the hilarious sight of the dog disposing of a gun (twice), and a priceless shot of a surprised chicken that is easily the best moment in the whole damn mess (the bird certainly gives a more convincing performance than the rest of the cast).

It's quite hard to talk about a movie such as this without insulting someone or without swearing. I think that the guys at IMDb should reconsider their position about that, because if we could use certain (forbidden) words these comments would be much easier to write.

OK, here we go: a man escapes from a prison and he's pursued by a dog... hell yeah! Well Brian Yuzna is not only a dreadful director, he's also so slapdash (the lack of money is not an excuse), and he's learned nothing throughout all those years he's been in the industry. He does not have the faintest idea about cinema, he can't narrate, and he makes a mistake after another.

PS: the funniest thing about "Rottweiler" is that it was made with the money of some Spanish public institutions. So, now we not only subsidize the local rubbish but also the foreign one.

*My rate: 0/10

In 2018, in Spain, the prisoner Dante (William Miller) escapes from a prison and is chased by a robot dog. He tries to reach the city of Puerto Angel, where he left his beloved girlfriend Ula (Irene Montalà). While running away, he recalls his recent past in Spain with Ula.

I like Brian Yuzna, but the violent, bizarre and disappointing "Rottweiler" has one of the most ridiculous screenplays I have ever seen. The unpleasant story, where the political and economical situation of this future and the characters are awfully developed, has many situations not explained. We just see the lead character running most of the time tracked by a stupid dog that kills everybody. Better off sleep, since watching this movie is a pure waste of time. My vote is three.

Title (Brazil): "Rottweiler"