Survie: les naufragés

An incredibly beautiful woman washes up on the beach. She turns out to be a "teaser" as writer-director Stewart Raffill flashes back to what happened before a boating mishap. Restarting, two wealthy couples arrange for a yacht in the Bahamas to take them out for some fishing and fun on the water. One couple may really be shark food, apparently. Focus on the other couple, balding but rich Billy Zane (as Jack) and his beautifully proportioned wife Kelly Brook (as Jennifer). They hire muscular wavy-haired Juan Pablo Di Pace (as Manuel) to serve drinks and help out on the boat. You get the picture? If not, you don't pick up signals very well...

Now, also part of the set-up is an arousing local native, hot-tempered Maria Victoria Di Pace. She has a fight with Mr. Pablo Di Pace before the ship hits the sea. You should note how they slap each other around. As a parallel, Ms. Brook likes to be tied up while Mr. Zane reels it in...

Maria likes to draw pentagrams and play with her voodoo doll. This seems to drive the plot of the "Three" sex-obsessed "Survival Island" inhabitants. Women must end up on top. It is silly in the opening scenes and gets sillier later. So, why is this film any good? A couple of reasons...

You should not be asking how Mr. Zane washes up on the beach with bloody feet. Maybe he found an air pocket under water and ran around on sharp sea shells; possibly, the baggies covering Zane's feet slipped off just before he reappears. Ignore the voodoo and incongruities. If a Bic pen can survive, so can a cigarette lighter. Mr. Raffill and his crew, especially photographer Tony Imi, skillfully present pretty scenes in a luscious location. The women and Pablo Di Pace are incredibly beautiful, but the star attraction is absolutely Brook. Her wardrobe consists mainly of a white bikini and a big, sheer green shawl. She fits and fills the screen quite nicely. Brook never stops titillating and never has to try.

***** Survival Island/Three (11/16/2005) Stewart Raffill ~ Kelly Brook, Billy Zane, Juan Pablo Di Pace, Maria Victoria Di Pace

I can only assume the previous posts came from execs at the production company...

Attended the UK premiere last night. Zane and Brook attended (they probably knew I was gonna be there) and are undoubtedly stars, but what a turkey of a film. I felt sorry for them at times, when the audience erupted in laughter at what were serious 'thriller' scenes.

But perhaps I was missing the point. Perhaps an element of tongue-in-cheek was intended. If so, pure genius. If not, career genocide.

On the plus side, Zane always shines, and Brook can actually act a little. As the other half said (as we ran out the cinema, avec broken ribs), they can be forgiven for this film as they both seem like nice people! The scriptwriter, however, should be marooned.

Much better than I expected. Was expecting a B-grade skin flick and it is better than that.

Plot isn't bad and has some good twists and intrigues. The director keeps things moving and the film doesn't overstay its welcome. Has some odd and pointless detours though, e.g. the voodoo stuff.

No-star cast does OK. Even Kelly Brook, who isn't there for her acting ability, is reasonably convincing.

How pointless, hideous characters and boring film. Saved by brief sex scenes, mad witch, gorgeous desert island and Brooks body. The plot is tenuous, the characters are shallow and unlikeable. Having said that I did manage to watch it all, mainly because I was totally transfixed by the jiggling and kind of hoping that her character would come good in the end. The film was well shot, well directed but perhaps the casting let it down in some ways. Disappointing. Really summed the review up in the first line but this website dictates that you need to write 10 lines minimum. It would be better to spend the time watching another film.

His wife betrays him for food with the one who burned their ship or their boat and eventually she is the heroine. What's this?