Señorita Justice

It had been a good, long time since me and my high school buddies sat down to a righteously awful straight-to-video flick. This confused mess fit the bill and then some.

Try to picture a sort of Pam Grier-type exploitation movie but with Cuban Americans and production values that make you wonder if they just strung three episodes of an ethnic soap opera together, and you have some idea what this is like.

With dozens of goofy montages and instances of recycled footage, it has to have more padding than any 80 minute movie I've ever seen. The action sequences are edited badly (tons of dissolves a la "John Carpenter's Vampires"), choreographed worse (looks like they got the guy that did "Mighty Morphin Power Rangers"), and performed horrendously. The ladies are gorgeous, the guys are cheesy and sleazy--pretty much all the prerequisites are met for a raucous evening in front of the tube with friends and beer. Lots of beer. Check it out!

Even though this is a low budget film it makes me wanna take my ass to Miami! The movie is a lot of fun, good locations, good action, (it needed more) and good looking women, I've never seen so many fine looking females in one movie -- DAMN!

You hear that Hollywood! Make more low budget movies look like this one.

The film is slicker than most of the straight to video Latin movies that are out there. It starts out a little slow but it picks up and with some shoot-outs, cool Kung-fu fights and cat fights between two females -- MEOWWWWW!

The lead actress in the title role is a little stiff but this ain't Shakespear, it's Senorita Justice baby! The girl that played Vanessa was pretty convincing along Mo, he was a bad ass in the movie. If you're home on a Friday or Saturday night and ya got nothing to do and your a straight male, then this movie can't miss!

I voted one because I couldn't vote zero. The acting was bad, the quality stank, and the whole thing was like the fascination of the abhorrent. The only surprise in the entire (baaaad) plot was that nobody broke out having sex - that's the quality of movie we're talking about - usually films this bad are rated XXX; they have no other redeeming feature. This one didn't even have that. I can understand the parts of our heroine and the blonde cop, but where did the brunette cop fit in? Basically, this appears to be a way to show that gangstas from Habanita are just as screwed up as all the other ones... OK, so the whole thing did hang together in a weird sort of way, but it left an awful lot of loose ends. It starts in the middle and ends in the middle. Apparently, I don't watch enough daytime drama to keep up with this sort of stuff. I was expecting some sort of Hispanic shoot-em-up, but what I got was a lousy plot with the worst acting, filming and action. Also, apparently, the denizens of Habanita all spontaneously speak English (well, maybe so, although you'd never know it from being there - it's not that they can't speak English, it's just they normally speak Spanish with each other), and, furthermore, they can't cuss worth spit. Spaniards really cuss with extraordinary inventiveness, whereas these guys just mouth off a few limited tacos.

I cannot believe anyone would think this is a 'good' movie. It's only good for laughs as the acting is so terrible it is laugh out loud funny. When Senorita Justice straps on her guns they are so huge she can barely walk and they go missing from scene to scene, one minute she has them then they are gone, must be the magic of cinema. If you like to laugh at bad movies watch this you'll crack up every five minutes. The fight scenes are too much it looks like all the actors are really trying to remember what the stunt folks told them...Let see do I punch him then kick, or was it kick then punch..gosh this is hard. Anyhoo need to get my ten lines in.

It is a good thing I did not watch this horrible a$$ movie. I mean when I saw the action scenes as well as the horrible acting scenes, it just made me want to kick the sh!t out of my friends TV. What were these people thinking. It looks like they waisted about over $50,000 dollars on horrible acting lighting stupid stunt scenes as well as the last scene (OH MY GOD!!!!!), how are you going to "slit someone's throat" and have like a drop of blood come out and then die. It was also funny how she beat up those three guys when they wanted to run the train. That was funny as anything. So funny I thought about watching some paint dry to try and get my mind off of the horrible fight scene. This is a stupid movie and it should be pulled so no one can waist 80 minutes of their lives to watch it. Man I mean if I wanted a long and painful death I wouldn't want to watch it still. I would not want the last parts of my life of any memory of that movie.