Señorita Justice

I admit it, I like B movies. I loved Russ Meyer movies (even with Roger Ebert's lame scripts) I constantly look for them at the Video Store and 90% are lame worthless waste of time like the late-night soft-porn on Cable.

But this one Rocks. It's got Style. It's got real babes that can act and do Martial Arts. I haven't seen one this cool since Faster Pussycat Kill Kill.

Every scene looks like a setup to a porn scene, only just as you get ready to see hot babes rip the clothes of the guy, BAM! POW! BIFF!

(That's right I said BIFF!)

The hot babes kick the livin daylights out of the bad gang bangers!

Besides the title character by Starlet Babe Yancy, you get Eva Longoria as a Latina gangsta moll, Latin Soap star Edith Gonzales as a head detective (zipping her top up when Lawyer-Yancy walks in to end the "interrogation") Graycie Wey is the hottest evil Chinese Kung Fu Killer since Lucy Lui and only one of those incredibly boring cable soft core candle-light soft-jazz "tender lovemaking" scenes.

Every other time you think somebody's gonna get lucky they get a kick in the face instead.

Checkit out - Awesome!

The main reason why I rented this movie was the appearance of Desperate Housewives star Eva Longoria. If you're thinking of doing the same...DON'T! She is barely in this terribly-acted, atrociously-produced movie and it was a complete was of 80 minutes. It's almost like many of these characters have never seen how humans act. The music is way too loud in some places and the songs are second-rate. I must admit, I did watch the entire film to see where this train wreck ended up. Plus, the actors/actresses were very kind to the eyes. That was another reason I kept tuned into this flick. Let's just say this won't be winning many awards.

It is a good thing I did not watch this horrible a$$ movie. I mean when I saw the action scenes as well as the horrible acting scenes, it just made me want to kick the sh!t out of my friends TV. What were these people thinking. It looks like they waisted about over $50,000 dollars on horrible acting lighting stupid stunt scenes as well as the last scene (OH MY GOD!!!!!), how are you going to "slit someone's throat" and have like a drop of blood come out and then die. It was also funny how she beat up those three guys when they wanted to run the train. That was funny as anything. So funny I thought about watching some paint dry to try and get my mind off of the horrible fight scene. This is a stupid movie and it should be pulled so no one can waist 80 minutes of their lives to watch it. Man I mean if I wanted a long and painful death I wouldn't want to watch it still. I would not want the last parts of my life of any memory of that movie.

It had been a good, long time since me and my high school buddies sat down to a righteously awful straight-to-video flick. This confused mess fit the bill and then some.

Try to picture a sort of Pam Grier-type exploitation movie but with Cuban Americans and production values that make you wonder if they just strung three episodes of an ethnic soap opera together, and you have some idea what this is like.

With dozens of goofy montages and instances of recycled footage, it has to have more padding than any 80 minute movie I've ever seen. The action sequences are edited badly (tons of dissolves a la "John Carpenter's Vampires"), choreographed worse (looks like they got the guy that did "Mighty Morphin Power Rangers"), and performed horrendously. The ladies are gorgeous, the guys are cheesy and sleazy--pretty much all the prerequisites are met for a raucous evening in front of the tube with friends and beer. Lots of beer. Check it out!

Yes, a waste of time, but goodness that Yancy Mendia girl is cute. Even cuter than Eva. The most ridiculous part of it is the inclusion of Edith Gonzalez in it. She's a big time soap star, so I was quite surprised at her appearance in this. Her accent is quite apparent. Oh, and I also liked that the heroine drove a Nissan 240 in the film. Lol. I'm trying to stretch out this comment because IMDb will not let me post this unless it's at least ten lines long. I don't get it. So I will just write, write and write until it allows me to post this ridiculousness. OK, also, this is the only film where the girl looks cuter in a goofy dress than in her "sexy" garb.