Feeders 2: Slay Bells

I recently watched Feeders 2: Slay Bells (1998) on Tubi. The storyline follows an alien invasion on Christmas Eve, where Santa and his elves step in to save the day. But if they can't stop the extraterrestrials... is there any hope for humanity?

This picture is directed by and stars John and Mark Polonia-who also collaborated on Camp Murder-and also features Maria Davis (Jurassic Prey), Courtney Polonia (Nightcrawlers), and Anthony Polonia (War Raiders).

This is one of those movies that feels like it was made on a $50 budget. The aliens look like spray-painted styrofoam, and kids in art class could probably do better. The acting and storytelling are extremely amateurish, but that's part of the charm-many of the characters' reactions are unintentionally hilarious. The kills are terrible, and this might be the worst depiction of Santa you'll ever see.

In conclusion, Feeders 2: Slay Bells is a film you watch when you're in the mood for something so bad it's good. I'd give it a 4/10.

The Good News: only 68 minutes long.

The Bad News: its 68 minutes of Polonia video tripe.

These guys should be taken as true encouragement to Indie film producers. If they can sell this offal, then you CAN succeed. Take heart.

The DVD release contains commentaries where the actors/writers/director/cameraman (there appears to only be 4 people involved in total) admits that they spent no money whatsoever. So in light of that, it IS impressive that they could talk anyone into releasing it on DVD. Or maybe they won a lottery and paid someone to do it.

I had the priviledge of seeing this film at a local film festival in Cincinatti. This film is like no other on Earth. It is completely breathtaking in its utter awe and beauty.

When you see the little aliens for the first time, you will be amazed by the magnificent special effects. I have heard rumors that $150,000,000 went into designing the aliens alone.

The acting is nothing short of supreme. Breathtaking performances define this film. You will be moved to tears by the hilarious comedy scenes and the horrible tragedies the characters face. Truly, this is acting worthy of Shakespeare himself.

Then there is the musical score. Your ears will jump with joy when you hear the music. The sound is absolutely Oscar-worthy.

There's no other way to put it. Feeders 2: Slay Bells is sure to be remembered as one of the finest films of the 20th century.

Holy... They made this one even cheaper than the first! I'm not kidding here. This time the barely mobile aliens look like papier mache over lightbulbs! The acting is just as bad, the story just as lame. Worst part: there are flashbacks from feeders! Thanks to Mike, Kevin and Bill this is watchable. Still utterly horrible, but still funny as hell thanks to rifftrax.

Inferior to the first offering but still a moderately entertaining SOV flick while its on. The deaths aren't as funny (though I doubt anything could top the originals iconic hospital scene), the aliens don't seem to do as much in general, and there are too many dragged-out scenes where we are shown a whole bunch of nothing. But just when you think the movie's about to derail into complete boredom, it always redeems itself with a nice alien shot, some amusing acting and dialogue, or some other entertaining stupidity.

The pint-sized aliens essentially have sticks for appendages, and their hands are stubs, yet somehow they are still able to twist doorknobs and drag a full-grown man across the floor. As with the first movie, the growling sound does start to get a bit grating after the 100th time it's used.

All the SOV staples are still there: horrible acting, horrible dialogue, horrible CGI, horrible gore, paper mache creature FX and random flatulence. The entertainment is also still there, it's just not on the level of the first. So, in short, decent but disappointing.