Hobbs End

The first half of this movie is like a big black hole. It left no impression on me at all. It's neither bad nor good, but exists eternally in a sort of quality limbo.

Fortunately, the second half picks up, and it gets bad enough to provide a few laughs.

Another problem is that the effect of the film's first big surprise is somewhat mitigated by the fact that the copy on the DVD box gives it away completely. On the other hand, it was a pretty lame attempt at a surprise anyway.

One can see why this one sat in the can for over a year (copyright 2000, released 2002) before finally being dumped to video.

First off, this is not a slasher movie. It's not even a horror movie.

As another review mentioned, this is more of a stage play featuring a single location and only two major characters.

I'm having a hard time judging this movie as I feel it is a bit unfair seeing as it was mismarketed and it isn't the filmmakers fault. That being said, it is NOT a good movie even for what it is trying to be.

The two leads are irritating, the soundtrack is very annoying, especially the stupid duet that plays over the credits. There are multiple plot lines that go nowhere.

In short, those watching for something akin to the cover will be upset, and those wanting a lifetime style thriller won't watch because of it (nor is it even worth it).

A woman in an isolated farm house takes in a man under the assumption he's her new handyman.

Before I say anything else, I should say that "Hobb's End" feels like it could have originated as a stage-play (it could have been successful on the stage)... or '70s movie-of-the-week. To say that it's slow and talky is an understatement.

This film seems to have gotten a horrible rap, mainly due to the fact that it was marketed to the wrong sort of audience. Not that there's a huge audience for this sort of movie. The packaging depicts a man with a bloody chainsaw (no chainsaw is even used in the film) and the description on the back blatantly gives away the twist. The body count is low, the gore is barely seen and the film crawls along from start to finish. Not exactly the slasher film that the box leads you to believe it is. And to boot, the audience is enticed early on with a tale of a "curse" that really has nothing to do with the plot.

The film fits into more of a "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf"-type psychological-drama category, but there are many factors (revealed late into the film, but disclosed on the box) that push it into the horror genre. The story unfolds at a slow pace with lots of twists and distractions, and a good chunk of the dialogue has a payoff of some sort or another.

Taking into consideration what sort of film it REALLY is, it's quite good. Catarina Conti gives a fine performance as the heroine. At times she comes off sort of wooden, though it's because of the character and not her performance. Brennan Elliot gives a very layered performance as a psychopath that's really quite intriguing if you're up to going with it. The production values are modest at best ('70s TV-movie really does come to mind) but it's well-filmed with some beautiful snowy scenery. Perennial soundtrack band Wild Colonials provide the songs in the film, beginning with an infectiously goofy ditty called "Quarrel-Tet" that plays over the opening titles (a song that it's hard to shake from my head once its in there).

The film is not for most tastes, but it's a good risk for lovers of plays or those up to taking a chance on a film that's more talk than action.

...But then, I had to buy it because of my name in the credits. Yep, I was the "key medic" in this travesty of film. And they didn't even list me in the "cast and crew." Bummer! But you know what the best part about this movie is? We all had a blast making it and you get to see the back of my head as I walk with my "family" across the parking lot in the beginning and then again at the end (I'm the guy in the blue "medic" outfit.) And yes, the scenery is majestic, I do forget sometimes since it's in my backyard and I see it every day. The craft service was the best -- I gained about 20 pounds during the shoot -- and they put the food right next to the medic station. I haven't seen most of the cast and crew since, but I still think about all, OK -- some, of you occasionally. Hey Buxbaum, if you ever get to Sandpoint again, call me! And I think you told me you could teach me to barefoot ski....

The acting, particularly Cat's, is pretty wooden and predictable. To me she always looked like she had something really distasteful in her mouth when she talked and couldn't quite spit it out. Maybe it was the never-ending dialog. The best actor on the set by far was Rosie the dog (although I can't remember if she's in the movie and can't bear to watch it again to find out.) As for the plot of this movie -- it's pretty transparent, BUT I'D URGE YOU ALL TO RUSH RIGHT OUT TO BUY OR RENT IT so you can actually see my name in the credits and Polestar can recoup some of the house payments they paid me!

As the film opens recently widowed Lacey is desperately trying to insist to her friend, Cindy, that she doesn't need another man in her life. However later that same day when she accidentally runs into someone she believes to be the new handyman, she invites him into her house to make amends to this guy who reminds her so much of her husband somehow. Meanwhile the radio is issuing an urgent message about a dangerous convict on the loose. Are these two events linked somehow? You bet your sweet ass they are.

Oh where do I even begin to tell you what was wrong with this film. OK, right off the bat, the whole issue with the cover being so VERY misleading (there's no chainsaw, the population is a bit higher then depicted) has been said over and over so I won't repeat it here (oops just did). Then there's another character that's in the film skulking around Lacey's property that's never really explained. The sheer lack of chemistry between the two leads makes the first 20 minutes are so supremely implausible at best, and a big F you to the intelligence of the audience at worst. Also later in the film when a certain character is portrayed as crazy, the whole film turns into a (unintentional) comedy of errs. To round things off, I hated the soundtrack and the person who did the editing for the movie must have been legally blind.

My Grade: D

Where i saw it: Instant Netflix via Xbox 360