Hellbreeder

AMAZING that anyone thought 70's crooner Darren Day would make a scary bad guy by slapping a bit of clown make up on him and forcing him to say the F word.

AMAZING that out of all the lead actresses they could have picked for the part, they chose one that can't act for toffee, and doesn't even look good with her clothes off (with or without the big, fake chest scar which incidentally, brings me to...)

AMAZING that the make-up effects can actually be worse than every cheapo 50's horror I've seen, and considering how many late nights I've had in front of my old VCR, that's some achievement.

AMAZING that the financiers didn't take one look at the script for this ridiculous thing (I dare not denigrate the word film) and didn't run for the hills.

And AMAZING that anyone can give it more than 1 out of 10. Unless you IMDb voters are practical jokers. VERY FUNNY, DUDES!

About the only use for it is as a tool in the government drive against teens taking LSD. You show this in a school campaign, I guarantee 95% of the audience will never touch the stuff. The other 5% will probably take the DVD home, and watch it repeatedly as a way of getting their fix without going to the nightclub. At least it's cheaper. But it could be infinitely more damaging to their health... 0/10

How the hell did Darren Day get any acting part - when I realised he was in it I was totally put off (if you are English you will know all that he has ever done or is famous for is poor seaside style singing and dumping girlfriends at the altar), but I still gave it a chance... And it was abysmal.. French Poirot style detective in England? Not checking up on person at murder scene on the spot and going for a drink with them instead etc... It's abysmal.. AVOID. AVOID. AVOID.. Avoid this film or anything Darren Day has attached to!! Bad, rubbish, worst British film ever.. I paid £3.30 for it which was £3.29 too much. If you have to watch this film (for example as a punishment in a prison or something) shut your eyes and close your ears!! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!

Unwatchable t*rd, unbearable, actually irritating, hateful crud, painfully dull, painfully feeble, had me hitting fast-forward, the director should be shot, but not before I get my £1.99 refund, Darren Day is the worst person alive - you have to see his retarded scene where he is covered in dirt getting sucked off in the back of a van, it is a atrocious, the whole thing is atrocious - Day even pulls out a script towards the end and starts flicking through it... my God - spooky clowns and dead kids, who gives a damn, give me a break, I'm taking the hammers to this, if I ever see the director(s) (it took two people to sh*t this out?) down a dark street, I'm going to set the dogs on them

Well i always try to find a positive in all movies but this kinda bad It's a very bad movie i for one just lost total interest I couldn't stay focused on the movie One thing i must say is reading the cover it sounded kinda cool But as cool as it sounded and as funny as the cover was it was just sad For me like i said i try to find a positive in all movies But i can't find a positive the only positive is i saw it on DVD So i had the option of hitting EJECT Because this is just bad but hey i'm sure there are people who may get it I don't though it may be one of those movies you have to watch twice But i sure won't be watching it again lol

At no time throughout this movie did I know what was happening. It was a headache to watch and certainly I read on the back of the DVD what it was meant to be about. NONE of this was conveyed in the film... I was like what the F%@! the whole way through. Unfortunately I had to watch it all as it was a part of the crappy movie marathon we were having but this one takes the cake..... it beats EVERYTHING. Why money was wasted on putting this supposed film on DVD I have no idea. All I know is it WINs, OK Pat, you WIN! I thought it would be a laugh to begin with seeing as the catch line is "he's not clowning around" and seeing the hilarious evil clown photo... it was the hardest movie I've ever had to endure because I honestly did not understand any of it. I think the only people on this planet that would make sense of it are all in mental institutions..