Ultrachrist!

Quite simply, the best feature film about a present-day, super-hero Jesus who wears spandex tights and fights Hitler, Nixon and Jim Morrison to save the world. 11th commandment - thou shalt see this movie, or I'll see you in Hell!

Just a couple of years after Jesus Christ VAMPIRE HUNTER comes ULTRACHRIST, which features another superhero Lord (I know what you're thinking, that one waits for a millennium without seeing even one, and now...) this time He's complete with Spandex outfit, hilariously reminiscent of Monty Python's famous Bicycle Repair Man. Christ returns to earth, Terminator-like, to start His second ministry and promptly moves in with two lipstick lesbians as a base for His low key, but gormlessly naive operations. Meanwhile His old adversary, now running the city's Park Department and local drugs cartel, sends out adversaries - choosing the most evil figures in history (being Adolf Hitler, Vlad the Impaler, Richard Nixon and, er, Jim Morrison, naturally enough) against Him. Elsewhere, in a pizza parlour in Heaven, God Himself is mightily annoyed at developments and sends an emissary (the Archangel Ira, the self proclaimed Patron Saint of Erotic Massage) to strip Jesus of His Spandex and thereby reduce the Almighty's embarrassment..

More deftly put together than JCVH, but without the endearingly loopy songs or pastiche kung fu, ULTRACHRIST is just as low budget while still being amusing, and just as essential viewing by way of a further addition to this growing, peculiar mini genre of Christ as crime fighter. As Jesus, Jonathan C Green is perhaps more believable than the previous filmic resurrection ("The crucifix is the symbol of Christianity? I HATED the crucifix! OUCH!" he opines), and has more charm of presence, but believability is hardly a key issue here. My favourite bad taste moment is when Jesus' stigmata, after he's excited, ejaculates blood all over his wannabe girlfriend's blouse...

Normally I don't like to bash indie cinema (It's more fun to trash movies that are poorly crafted but cost $$$ to make) but I have to make an exception. I was fooled by the high IMDb rating and reviews on this turkey, which must have

been posted by friends of the creator. Let me say upfront that I'm far from

religious, and appreciate good satire in the vein of Election. This was too dumb to be called satire.

A Jesus with a whiny Brookyln accent shows up nude in NYC (a'la "The Terminator") and crafts a spandex powder blue "superhero costume" to relate to today's youth. Lots of scatology and sex jokes as Jesus turns the

commandments to pro casual sex to win converts. The video and especially

audio are sub-porno quality. "Jesus" fights Richard Nixon (guy in rubber Nixon mask) Jim Morrison and Dracula. An interesting concept badly executed. Look

elsewhere for religious humor not so puerile, I suggest "The Life of Brian".

I looked at the walls instead and it was better than this movie.

Whoa, this movie looks cheap. It looks like it was shot on the streets of New York City with nothing but $14 and a silver superhero suit. The good news is, it's pretty funny. A few sidesplitters, and solid chuckles up until the end, which is utterly hilarious.

The premise is that Jesus comes back to Earth in the modern day and finds he's a bit of a freak. He meets a seamstress and has her make him a superhero costume so he'll be able to relate. Then the Antichrist (who's the NYC Parks Commissioner, for some reason), resurrects the greatest sinners in history to fight Ultrachrist, and then ... then things get kind of weird.

While the movie may dwell a little long on some subplots (a romance between a pretty reporter and Jesus's angel sidekick may be a tad too much gravy), it manages to sustain momentum throughout, and by the final twenty minutes, when Jesus and Satan go head-to-head at what seems to be a benefit Honkytonk concert, it's reached deliriously crazy highs of hilarity.

Minor masterpiece? Maybe not ... but I did appreciate that the movie didn't stoop to lowbrow scatological humor at all (obscure political references are more its thing), and the performances (except a few where it's clearly someones friend or sister) are quite good -- particularly Jonathan C. Green as Jesus/Ultrachrist.

If you can tolerate low production values, bad sound and Klezmer music, Ultrachrist! is a movie worth checking out.