Ultrachrist!

Just a couple of years after Jesus Christ VAMPIRE HUNTER comes ULTRACHRIST, which features another superhero Lord (I know what you're thinking, that one waits for a millennium without seeing even one, and now...) this time He's complete with Spandex outfit, hilariously reminiscent of Monty Python's famous Bicycle Repair Man. Christ returns to earth, Terminator-like, to start His second ministry and promptly moves in with two lipstick lesbians as a base for His low key, but gormlessly naive operations. Meanwhile His old adversary, now running the city's Park Department and local drugs cartel, sends out adversaries - choosing the most evil figures in history (being Adolf Hitler, Vlad the Impaler, Richard Nixon and, er, Jim Morrison, naturally enough) against Him. Elsewhere, in a pizza parlour in Heaven, God Himself is mightily annoyed at developments and sends an emissary (the Archangel Ira, the self proclaimed Patron Saint of Erotic Massage) to strip Jesus of His Spandex and thereby reduce the Almighty's embarrassment..

More deftly put together than JCVH, but without the endearingly loopy songs or pastiche kung fu, ULTRACHRIST is just as low budget while still being amusing, and just as essential viewing by way of a further addition to this growing, peculiar mini genre of Christ as crime fighter. As Jesus, Jonathan C Green is perhaps more believable than the previous filmic resurrection ("The crucifix is the symbol of Christianity? I HATED the crucifix! OUCH!" he opines), and has more charm of presence, but believability is hardly a key issue here. My favourite bad taste moment is when Jesus' stigmata, after he's excited, ejaculates blood all over his wannabe girlfriend's blouse...

I found Ultrachrist to be a laugh out loud good time. Jonathan C. Green's portrayal of the childlike savior returned to earth was great fun. The opening of the film is totally cute and the Finale is as well. Yes the movie is low budget but it is a Hoot. My only problem was it seemed to drag along near the end. It is only 92 minutes long but begins to feel like it is +2 hours, before the resolution occurs. For those wondering about a rating PG is pretty much what it qualifies for with Kissing Lipstick Lesbians and an Dominatrix. Overall the acting was sketchy but no one rents a movie this low budget expecting Academy Award winning anything. I had a good time and it wasn't even that blasphemous.

I looked at the walls instead and it was better than this movie.

Whoa, this movie looks cheap. It looks like it was shot on the streets of New York City with nothing but $14 and a silver superhero suit. The good news is, it's pretty funny. A few sidesplitters, and solid chuckles up until the end, which is utterly hilarious.

The premise is that Jesus comes back to Earth in the modern day and finds he's a bit of a freak. He meets a seamstress and has her make him a superhero costume so he'll be able to relate. Then the Antichrist (who's the NYC Parks Commissioner, for some reason), resurrects the greatest sinners in history to fight Ultrachrist, and then ... then things get kind of weird.

While the movie may dwell a little long on some subplots (a romance between a pretty reporter and Jesus's angel sidekick may be a tad too much gravy), it manages to sustain momentum throughout, and by the final twenty minutes, when Jesus and Satan go head-to-head at what seems to be a benefit Honkytonk concert, it's reached deliriously crazy highs of hilarity.

Minor masterpiece? Maybe not ... but I did appreciate that the movie didn't stoop to lowbrow scatological humor at all (obscure political references are more its thing), and the performances (except a few where it's clearly someones friend or sister) are quite good -- particularly Jonathan C. Green as Jesus/Ultrachrist.

If you can tolerate low production values, bad sound and Klezmer music, Ultrachrist! is a movie worth checking out.

Please stay away from this piece of garbage. It is likely to induce drowsiness and should only be watched by those without a sense of humour, looking to waste 1hr 36 mins of their lives or anyone else who enjoys totally uncreative and mind numbingly boring garbage. It is rather unfortunate that anyone with a camera, free time on their hands and spare change in their wallet can make movies these days. This movie could very likely have been ripped off a failing fourth graders essay paper.Trust me, it was that bad and I am being as polite and considerate as I possibly can. My rating: 1.25 (Mostly for the costume :-) )