Shoreditch

I haven't seen this film, but curiosity has gotten the better of me. I used to like the concept of "Goodnight Sweetheart", plus I wonder can this film be so bad with an overall score of about 4? It can't be as bad as Revelation. Maybe one of the Sundays tabloids can give it away on DVD?

Its interesting that if you click the names of the users who posted the two positive reviews on here ("this is a very watchable film" and "The performance of Shane Richie was excellent") it shows that "triciacooklin" and "geoffdeane" have not commented on any other films. Would that be because they were involved with this and wanted to give it a bit of a boost? Aw, bless.

How in God's name did something this awful ever get made in the first place? How does writing this bad get sold? What was Shane Richie thinking? (He is an OK actor, but he's never going to be in the acting class of the greats and he should stick to lightweight stuff, like Eastenders, in which he is essentially himself.) - Come to think of it Shane was just the same in this movie too!

The worst thing about this film (if we ignore how bad the script and directing are) is the acting itself. I mean, there are some well known talents in this little movie who are acting like total hams, in fact, there is not one bit of good acting in this whole movie.

I truly wish I was not one of the few people who actually bothered to see this film, I would rather have stayed home and waxed my legs, or done something else equally painful but at least somewhat useful.

My advice to anyone thinking of investing in a British movie is, DON'T, if this is what we produce and think will make money, wait until you see a great script like The Full Monty come along, now that's class.

This movie is total dross - do not even waste 50p to rent it on video!

Want to see a good movie - see Lost In Translation, The Last Samurai, East is East, The Full Monty, Good Will Hunting, even Rocky - all with compelling scripts!

OK! OK! I must admit, I'm writing this for a friend.. Just one of the 300 people who went to see this stinker. As far as he's concerned.. I was told that this the kind of film that Shane Ritchie should've put his money where his mouth is..

Although it was similar in the reins of Goodnight Sweetheart.. This one was totally diabolical..! The script was awful.. The characters like a hard man's version of the Jelly Babies.. The whole film was mostly set in the jazz room populated by Smarties..

After I was told about it.. I was saying, well what the hell was Malcolm Needs thinking..? For a movie that costs £6million to make.. I would've done the film for a £100K.. rather than blast so much money into it.

I think the biggest problem was trying to get an audience to see this film this pile of rubbish.. But it turned out that audience realised that this is not the kind of film they would spend maybe £5-£10 (I'm talking London cinema-wise) to go and see it.

I've seen better films in my time.. But really if this comes out on DVD. And if it does.. I wonder how many people are going to rent or buy..? For starters, if I got this free from let's say.. Cash Converters.. I'll definitely pass it over to the nearest charity shop. They can sell it for a good price of 1p. 0 out of 10! Totally diabolical!

Little point going into detail as it is unlikely that Shoreditch will see the light of day. I guess it may surface on TV, by virtue of the fact that Shane "Eastenders" Richie is in it. A true embarrassment for all involved, there is little to redeem this mess. The plot, switching between present day and a 1939 jazz club, is pointless and ludicrous beyond belief. The script is truly terrible, especially the dialogue (did they say "f**k weed" in 1939 London?) and tonally it hasn't got a clue where it's at. Humour (or an attempt at it) in the 2001 scenes, contrasting with the supposed suspense thriller of 1939...

I could go on but I'm losing the will to live just thinking about this woeful movie. Spare a thought for Shane Richie - not only does he suck in the lead role but he also sank half a million quid into it, which is why he is now an indentured serf on Eastenders.

Mama mia... a cautionary tale to all movie investors. If you can't recognise a script like this as a total stinker then get out of the business!

Words fail me. If I could have given it a zero I would! The only other movie I've seen that comes close to it is Ben Elton's Maybe Baby. Some people enjoy watching movies because they're so awful, but I defy anyone to get any form of pleasure from this rubbish! Don't even rent the DVD (if it ever survives onto DVD!).