The Naked Road

Jeanne Rainer was a pretty, shapely actress who reminded me of Adele Lamont, the attractive model in the cult classic The Brain That Wouldn't Die. They shared the same kind of sultry look and precise, serious acting style. Reading her bio here, I was very impressed.

I remembered Ronald Long best for his hilarious, snobby Sunsweet Prune commercials and also for his work on I Dream of Jeannie. Here Long is affably nasty in his plan to hook women into prostitution by drugging and kidnapping them. No doubt this was not a role and a movie that he looked back on with great affection. His henchman is even more scummy, casually killing girls for his boss when they are a threat, casually dropping one drugged girl out of a window. The acting got panned by most who bothered to review this quickie but the acting's not bad, just played out at a glacial pace. This snail pace is not for viewers hyperstimulated by the rapid cutting, action and diction of today's movies. There is no real action, just exposition. It's so mild and slow, it could have easily been broadcast on TV in 1959.

I discovered "The Naked Road" as part of Something Weird's excellent "Weird Noir" collection.

Like everything in the set, it more than lives up to it's name.

Director William Martin, who made some other strange films around the same time, seems to have something, perhaps something feminist, on his mind. The film compares the casual exploitation by an of Ad Man of a beautiful young model (the lovely Jeanne Rainer) with out and out White Slavery. In fact, the ad man, who ultimately shrinks from his pangs of guilt, is no doubt intended to be the biggest sleazbo of them all.

Even considering that Martin had little time or budget, his approach to filmmaking is downright odd. He shoots every scene in a three or four shot with all characters in view, and just when the monotony becomes unbearable; he cuts to a close up at an utterly irrelevant moment. The actors seem to have been instructed to speak slowly and leave gaping holes between the lines. And none seem to be incompetents, tubby Ronald Long went on to a highly successful career, but his performance here is hilariously, well, odd. Martin may have been no worse or better than Ed Wood, but he had his own approach to making a terrible film.

The abrupt climax is probably all for the best, but I could have stood another 15 minutes or so of these strange goings on. And again, Jeanne Rainer, you could have been a contender.

Just when you think every obscure low budget potboiler has been exhumed, here comes The Naked Road, more of a film noir than the usual softcore stuff that Something Weird Video seems to put out. No nudity, in fact even though this is roughie-type material, it's handled in a PG-rated manner. No nudity or even mild swearing. Could have almost been broadcast on television, even at that time.

I was reminded of nothing less than Ed Wood's The Sinister Urge. The quality of the sets was about the same (bare bones), the acting was actually a little bit better (heavy Ronald Long was a recognizable character actor throughout the next 15 years on a bevy of network TV shows), but the directing was just about as competent as Wood (static long shots, actors poorly used, except for Long, who probably did it all himself) but without EDW's lovable quirks or infectious enthusiasm for whatever overblown piece of underfunded crap he was pushing as the next Citizen Kane.

I'm sure whatever grindhouse or drive-in theater patrons that happened to accidentally watch this back in the day (probably last on the bill at 3:00 in the morning) were not overly impressed. A few chuckles here and there, but not worth seeking out.

Thia film has no redeeming features. The acting is terrible,the small rooms and sets are terrible,the script is terrible,the music is terrible,the plot is terrible,the main english actor is really terrible,.everthing about this film is terrible and really unbelieveable. Please do not be tempted to spend any time seeing,watching or thinking about Naked Road. This ntitle has no connection with the film in any way. The poster for the film is more iteresting than the film ans it illustrates a scene not shown in the film. Many people may snear at British films made at the same time as this U. S. A.film but none are never as bad as Naked Road.

I think that adds to the credibility of the movie. It's not like these kinds of sleazy things are exactly glamorous, indiscrete, provide a great health care plan, and a 401k.