Capturing the Friedmans

The most riveting aspect of this documentary was the inclusion of home movie footage taken during the family's most profoundly personal private moments in real time. How could the Friedmans allow its most painful moments to be recorded? And what kind of child would record such events? That's how I realized how deeply dysfunctional the whole family is. This family is guilty, and it's not of pedophilia, but of an extreme form of alienation from one's own humanity. And the worst part of it is they are not even aware of it. In a way, I found the family's obsession with home movies frightening. It made them vulgar and I felt cheap and dirty, as if I were a peeping Tom. What a frightening film. And how seductive Mr. Jarecki is for capturing my attention.

I do not dispute the director's craft. This film is enthralling and engaging, and he keeps it interesting albeit frustrating to the end.

What I do dispute is the director's lack of opinion and apparent siding with this family.

If Arnold and Jesse didn't do anything inappropriate, I can imagine they would be flabbergasted with such charges and be wondering to themselves the entire film "where is this coming from? I'm absolutely perplexed". But they're not. The entire film Jesse and David are constantly WHINING and incredibly defensive, constantly saying "nothing happened." When, things DID happen.

• the police found stacks of child porn in Arnold's office. Fact
• Arnold admitted to abusing Jesse. Fact.

• Jesse admitted to his lawyer (who's more credible than he is) that his father abused him and he abused (and was willing to admit to abusing) computer students. Fact.

• there was a computer game with naked men and women used by Arnold to test the boys willingness to engage.

Arnold, David, and Jesse make themselves out to be these spoiled, whining, brats throughout the film. There's no remorse for anything. There's no empathy for any of the victims, including themselves. There's nothing but absolute denial when the evidence is clear as day.

To me, the BIGGEST VICTIM OF THEIR CRIMES IS THEIR MOTHER. The abuse I saw her endure during this film is absolutely atrocious. I'm glad she found someone decent to live out the rest of her days, because her sons and husband treated her like GARBAGE. It was infuriating the watch. They deserved what they got simply for their treatment of her. It was despicable.

What is perplexing is the wide range of testimony from the computer students, with some saying they were molested several times and some saying they never saw or heard a thing. One picture shows the students having fun in the class. This is the biggest question I have - why do some remember and some don't? I do think it's possible the police may have interrogated inappropriately, even to the point of using hypnosis and planting false memories. If this was true, it would be a massive injustice and proof the police were part of the hysteria.

But to me I have biggest issue with Jarecki and how silent he is on the direction of the film. This is a subject that should infuriate you but he treats it so lightly, allowing footage of the sons berating their mother for having any emotion and making us listen to the sons WHINE CONSTANTLY without offering any evidence of Jesse or their father's innocence. All they did was deny. Everyone deserves a fair shake but to me this entire family was in complete denial and clearly couldn't deal with this situation. I don't blame them, honestly. So why doesn't Jarecki call them out?

Outstanding documentary, which demonstrates how quickly life can fall apart for anyone. The center of attention, of course, is Arnold Friedman, a pedophile whose personal issues create a firestorm that destroys his own life, but more tragically, the lives of his children. There are so many facets to this documentary that it amazes me that they could all be captured in the film's running time. Several important issues are highlighted; front and center is the hysteria surrounding pedophilia that emerged in the late eighties. Amidst the background of the McMartin and "Little Rascals" trials and the culture of quack psychology (repressed memories, hypnotic suggestion) emerged the case of Arnold Friedman.

The most interesting aspect of this case was that Friedman was a pedophile - there is no doubt about that. The question is whether he was guilty of the crimes charged, more than 300 charges of child abuse. Furthermore, could his son and assistant, Jesse, also be guilty? The filmmaker does not force out any answers to that question, but the testimonies of his accusers and the incompetent buffoonery of the police involved in the case lead one to conclude that the answer is a resounding "No."

The crimes are only part of the story. The true story lies in the destruction of the Friedman family. Arnold, the eccentric intellectual and apparently loving father turns out to be feeble and a pedohpile, a man crippled by guilt. Elaine, the "loving wife and mother" who is frozen out by her family turns out to be a weaker human being than her husband, bowing under pressure to administer horrifying "advice" to her youngest son. The brothers, lead by the eldest, fight a losing battle to save their family. One of the most tragic and moving pictures I have seen in ages.

Knowing some of the parties involved in the actual case I was curious to see the film to see how they came across on the big screen. I was however reluctant to see it since the furor over who did what or who didn't or who's lying or not was clouding my perception of the film from the get go.

I let time pass and finally sat down to watch the film once I thought things had calmed down.

As a document of a family on the path to destruction I am floored by the film. This is a heart breaking exploration of how things are not what we think they are and how character flaws can and will wipe out the ones we love.(Although I think Character flaws is the wrong term)

A great deal of the later half of the film dances around whether Jesse, the son who pleaded guilty to the charges, was really guilty. Its here I found the film to be slightly flawed because to me the film wants to have it both ways, him guilty and innocent. I think the film makers should have picked aside, since what they have done here seems less than subjective and fair (to either side)

This is a tough film. If you can't handle frank sexual talk about child molestation then stay away. However, if you want to see an excellent film about a family in crisis then see this film.

9 out of 10.

I can never decide where the entire truth lies; the men in this family undeniably weird, but "weird" alone isn't illegal. Regardless, all empathy sits with Elaine; that poor woman with her lovely accent deserves her new life.