Spplat Attack

At best this could be described as an 80 minute home movie. In fact, a number of shots show the cameras involved, and they are mere consumer grade camcorders... without anti-shaking features apparently. Many scenes rivaled Blair Witch Project in its lack ability to keep things stable. Terrible panning shots in an effort to keep up with the action. Just thinking about it again makes me want to puke.

Don't watch.

I first saw this on ESPN2 at 3 in the morning about 4 months ago being and Shanter fan i kept it on hoping that it would help me fight my insomnia.

Fortunately, it dragged me in like every paintball game i have ever played it is true to the sport in every way and takes a fast, lighthearted, approach to a great event. the shaky camera's and poor editing just adds to the fun of it all. To call this this piece of film terrible is missing the point.

All you can do is rent this at block buster and laugh at how outrageous the idea of a 70 year old Shanter playing paintball is. Then revel in the hilarity of it all.

It turns out that Shatner is, in fact, Kirk. On more than one occasion during this very silly movie, Shatner manages to come out on top of potentially disastrous paintball scenarios. I came away from this surprised at how wily Shatner really is.

The camera work is not amateur so much as it is unprofessional. It's much like watching a Shatner family home movie. I have never been involved in paintball, so it was fascinating to see how riled up these people get about their paintball.

However, this movie is certainly not for everyone. If you're not a big Shatner fan than you're better off watching Friends reruns.

As awful as this is as a piece of film-making, it is pure comedy gold. The entire production reeks of egotism and pomposity, and the whole thing is amplified by the fact that nobody involved seems to realize how outrageous the whole thing is. The whole thing is really a tribute to Shatner's massive ego- though, to be fair, he does seem to have a sense of humour about it. Even the title is a pompous and pointless misspelling (how is "Spplat" pronounced differently than "Splat"?).

I should add that the advertisements for "Creative Light Entertainment" that come before the movie starts are even funnier than "Spplat Attack" itself.

I's seems a bit impossible to put my emotion into words here... But i'll try! Spplat Attack from 2002 has to "bee" the best movie ever since the Little Bee movie from Brazil, with amazing characters portrayed as the wonderful actor William Shatting, which got most of he's face from the Star Trek series and Homestuck. The plot of this movie is simply... Cleaning! (My way of saying thrilling to be in the theme of the movie funny joke) And has to have one of the nicest home made soundtracks ever, with some of the musicians reminding me allot of Death Grips. I simply feel sad that other humans on this planet cannot simply comprehend the quality and effort of this film, like if you see all of these scores on IMDb, you will notice they are all low... That simply sickens me, I believe i can live in a world in which this doesn't have to be tolerated by sane warriors like myself. It also makes me sad that people such as feminists ruin all the fun for all the men in this entire universe! C,mon it was just a joke. These things I just said where quotes from the movie and not actually my ramblings, trust me... I'm a reviewer and I know how to properly review a movie. In a nutshell, you should watch this movie, it is by far the best movie to include cleaning and vice versa. Peace out.