Die You Zombie Bastards!

Well well, what was this. I have seen the trailer and thought, well, this I must see, so I did but it was weirder than the trailer. If you are going to watch it be advised that it is really a weird movie. Don't take it seriously, but watch it with a pint of beer and some nachos. Sit down and relax and take a ride towards cheap effects (space ship, sea monster), cannibalism (a couple loves to eat human flesh), stupid hero's (red man), stupid make up (Baron Nefarious and the zombies), goofy story lines (in fact the whole movie) and the obligatory nudity (a lot of juggs and hairy kitty cats). Sometimes it's a bit boring but I must say that the acting of Tim Gerstmar is excellent. Many will find it celluloid shite others will adore it.

I saw this movie during a screening in Providence and have been unable to get it out of my head. This leads to unpleasant situations in public places, where I will think of something from the movie and start laughing like a maniac much to the distress of those around me.

This movie starts off by introducing us to the unusual world of a serial killer with a heart gold named Red Toole. He enjoys killing hippies, wearing costumes made of human flesh and spending quality time at home with his wife Violet.

When Violet is kidnapped by a deformed Mad Scientist named Baron Nefarious, Red sets out on a thoroughly bizarre journey in hopes of getting her back.

That is more or less the plot, but how Red gets from point A to point B is so funny and ridiculous that it wouldn't do it justice to try and explain it here. This is one you have to see for yourself.

If I were an unoriginal S.O.B. I'd say this movie was like Airplane meets The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. But I'm not and besides that would probably make you think of the Scary Movie series and this is nothing like those lame flicks. Sadly, I am not as clever as the makers of this film so I will have to say this movie is kind of like a cross between Top Secret and Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer, except with more fish monsters and naked zombie girls.

When I grow up I want to be Red Toole or president, maybe both. I love this movie, you will too. If you don't then there is obviously something wrong with you.

that this film was not worth wasting my time on. I can't even give one good reason why anyone should ever even think about viewing it. It does have gore and nudity, but even that isn't worth a peek. Does it have acting? Sure it does...but my dog could do better. Hell, even Porn Stars act better than this! As bad as this film is, I still give it a 2 because truth is...I've seen worse. If you want to watch a no-budget, bad-acting, much funnier zombie flick, then I suggest you watch REDNECK ZOMBIES instead. Die You Bastard Film, Die! ...and the music is terrible. If I hear "Die You Zombie Bastards" yelled one more time by whoever it is that is trying to sing, I'm gonna punch a hole in my TV. Avoid this film at all costs!

A horror comedy that should have been A Troma movie if you ask me. This one has an evil Baron living on a island who has just devised a zombotron that will turn people into green zombie slaves. The Baron kidnaps a serial killers wife setting the husband on a heroic journey to get her back.

This one was pretty good. Not much of a budget but it keeps you laughing. You got everything in this film from robots to giant houseflies and even rockabilly legend Hasil Adkins playing himself. Porn legend Jamie Gillis pops up in it a couple of times. There is regular nudity and zombie nudity. Overall a good time to be had and you won't get brain strain trying to figure anything out.

How can you not love this movie? Zombies, ninjas, robots, Vlad the Impaler, a former male porn star and poorly behaved dog-men! Oh, and hot topless zombie chicks. Hot. Topless. Zombie. Chicks. They couldn't have pirates because having them on-screen with all the others would create a "coolness overload" that might just destroy the planet. The movie makes almost no sense and the acting is atrocious but that doesn't really matter. If you love cheesy flicks you'll love this. The only reason it's not a 10 is every time I looked at the leading man's face my teeth began to hurt. Seriously, dude looks like he's been living on a diet of aluminum foil, broken glass and scrap metal.