All About Anna

Awful, awful, awful... what a terrible excuse for a film, pathetic idea, poorly executed, terrible cast, the main guy is a Thor like douchebag of epic proportions! It's films like these that strike fear into my own heart when I think about directing a film, that I too may make something as God-awful and dreadful as this...

If you've ever seen "Sorted" by Alex Jovy, you'll have an idea of how vapid and terrible this film is...

If this is what happens with the "democratization" of filmmaking due to digital video cameras, I say bring back totalitarianism hence forth...

Just burn the master tapes, forget it ever happened...

At one point in the movie, Anna's voice over asks if she has squandered her chance to be with Johan, and that's the point where I had to explain to my girlfriend why I was yelling "yes, you muppet, and it's your own fault!" And then I had to explain why I was watching someone else's home video.

This movie was shot in the Dogme 95 style, and that doesn't do it any favors. Though, in all fairness, I don't think I would have enjoyed it any more if I had been able to see what was going on.

Anna is alright, I suppose, but her voice overs were a little grating. Blame that on English not being her first language.

Johan was... something else. Though early on he did briefly look like Owen Wilson achieving a mild orgasm, but that wasn't during a sex scene, so the jury is out on whether that's a good thing.

Those two pale in comparison to what in my opinion has to be the worst imitation of a human being to have ever been put on screen: Camilla, the roommate.

I firmly believe that this is the kind of roommate who creates serial killers. I think Jeffrey Dahmer had a roommate like her and decided "If I kill and eat a bunch of people I can go to jail so I don't have to listen to her anymore." Hence, the best part of this movie was when Camilla performed oral and I didn't have to hear her cough up noise for a few minutes.

To keep myself from going off on a tangent about what I believe is an extra terrestrial who crashed near the filming location, I shall conclude by saying that if this film had been about logical thinking, sane human beings, the runtime could have been cut back to half an hour tops.

If you enjoy Dogme 95 style films you'll want to give this one a quick look.

Everybody else, just put on some Scandinavian porn.

I saw a bit of this last year and all i can say is this.

I hope they can afford a tripod next time The miserable acting is barely saved by the hard porn This is not a film IT IS porn There is no lighting.

I am one for the old films and i do not think a movie needs all the bells and whistles like CG and effects but this has nothing and i mean the porn is so unnecessary and it is meaningless like in that stage version of cabaret. This film is like the mind of a teenager with no imagination. The inexperience is so clear though with practice a couple of the cast could get good but this... Well i don't real know what it is... a cross between the ground shots from Miami vice, the talent of the child between enter Sharai and son of dork and sex like you-porn.com Though the blond girl is quite pretty she should have a career if she took the time to research the other contributers like the director and camera man for a school rec it might pass as appalling but as a film there is a long way to go sorry

Well, strange. There are porn films with no plot. Just they show what they show - sex. There are erotic films with no real sex but much nudity. There are films with slight erotic overtones and such. This one is a weird combination of serious life drama, sad and sometimes happy events, long shots, deep talks and a bit dull silent scenes. OK, let it be an Art House film. No, it is not, as it contains what is usually not in such films - explicit sex scenes in real porn fashion with everything clear and visible. Did it work? Many say it did and the Anna film is a decent European masterwork of real genius. Others say it is a lame shame of a film, with totally unnecessary sex scenes and vapid plot. I tend to agree with the second view. Apart from several explicit scenes, the film is a real boredom, and it drags, drags, drags miserably all along. What is is about, after all? Hard to say. It is so prosaic, even and flat that leaves you with one hanging concern what was it made and what for? I have no answer, maybe, just to show a lovely lady naked and show some boring sequences. This is all, I guess

Well made. Cinema-photography is great, camera angels and movement work well with the story subject. It is not a porn flick! Porn flicks zoom in and only focus on the peoples private parts, which is disgusting to me. This movie shows things from a nice distance so you can take in the whole scene. This allows the viewer to see and feel the story not the bump and grind.

Our only negative is the female on female scene, we fast forward through it.