Gladiatress

It's funny how people apparently either hate or love this movie. Every user comment either gives it a "1" rating or above a "7" - it's a good thing we have the average, then, which in this case for once is actually very accurate: this movie is worth about a "4".

It has funny elements, though not many for a movie that's supposed to be a comedy. The portrayal of Celtic-Britannic culture (incl. some Picts) is entertaining and even a little educational, and the movie's main strength lies in its realistic portrayal of what would happen to someone who tried to rescue a family member from being kidnapped by the Romans: she becomes a slave herself.

The funniest thing about the movie is probably the way we have Worthaboutapig crossing the English channel and then instantly thinking that the Roman colony she finds there ("Boulogne" = Paris) is actually Rome itself. For some ignorant clan member who's never been to the continent before, and certainly never seen the capital of a major civilization (to say nothing of a map), that's actually extremely realistic. And the anachronistic line "When in Rome...!" just has that extra little punch, when we know that she isn't actually in Rome after all.

There are a bunch of details to like in this movie - the production values, for instance, and that terrifically nonchalant German gladiator, Schlaffwaffe -, but it's just not funny enough, overall. It's too understated, has very few scenes approaching the memorable, and just strikes me as too self-indulgent. Fart and crotch jokes abound, which are tasteless and unfunny. The characters are cardboards. As a whole the movie is a disappointment, but at least it marginally holds your interest throughout. That, at least, is something.

Not brilliant, but definitely worth watching. British humor at it's almost best and a very feminine type of humor to, in the great tradition of Absolutely Faboulous and Bridget Jones. Girl Power comedy. I think it's wonderful that we have come that far that women can be portrayed as pathetic and miserable but still sympathetic, as they are in movies like Gladiatress and Bridget Jones Diaries. It's womens turn to be allowed to be ridiculous - a domain which has been strictly male dominated until recently.

Above all I like that the movie show how superior, in practically everything, except for farting, the Romans were. They were cleaner, ate better, behaved better and above all, they locked better. "What have the Romans ever given to us" - Life of Brian. British men don't get much credit in this one. The movies heretical mixture of past and present also makes it one of those few really good comedies that doesn't take itself too seriously without becoming just silly and boring.

Ok, come on - it's not so very, very bad... Yes, the jokes are pretty puerile and the acting leaves quite a lot to be desired, but isn't this just running with the baton well established by the equally tarnished "Carry On" films - only, to be fair, without quite the same degree of sexist and banal innuendo? The plot is nonsense, but that doesn't really matter - it's meant to be a light-hearted role-reversal film where the stereotypes are reversed and it is the women who have the brains to defeat the encroaching Roman Legions invading Celtic Britain back in the day when togas and face painting were not just things on a Christian Lacroix catwalk. It clearly had a tiny budget, none of which was spent on a decent script, and you just know you are never going to get this 90 minutes of your life back again, but the character names are mildly amusing and the cast - especially Marcia Warren and Pam Ferris seem to be having a laugh too - with or at is anyone's guess. Rubbish, yes - but it's British rubbish...

The idiotic cover almost stopped me from watching the movie, because it seemed to indicate this could be moronic rubbish like "Meet the Spartans" again, but fortunately it's something completely different. First, they really got their historical background right. The explanation how the Romans could conquer Gallia and Britannia - not simply by brute force, but let proxies fight their wars for them and fight tribes separately which were enemies of each other - is given better than in most serious movies about that period. Asking the question "were some slaves actually satisfied with their primitive life without any rights"? like Worthaboutapig is probably more realistic than the heroic rebels of Spartacus movies, since Spartacus was the exception not the rule when it comes to self-sacrifice, but it's all quite politically incorrect to ask, I bet.

This is one of the funniest movies I've watched in the last couple of years. It's dominated by three women who fight against all odds ("I must warn you, I'm a Celtic warrior princess. I can kill a man in 17 different ways. 18, if you include cooking") which is of course unusual in the genre but works extremely well since their characters are so extremely different. Hide the DVD from your girlfriend, though, it may give her ideas...

OK, I had several advantages in watching Gladiatress...

• I had read the terrible reviews and had the lowest possible expectations, so I wasn't going to be disappointed.

• I watched it with a glass of good wine and in the company of two friends who had happy memories of their fun time as extras (and we even managed to catch glimpses of them) - I recognised every single location shot - all within a few miles of my home So, you have to weigh this when I say we all enjoyed it. We all laughed aloud lots of times.

It also looks great. Much higher production values than you'd expect for a movie of this type. Partly this is down having borrowed equipment and costumes from the multi zillion dollar Gladiator. But it is also a well-made movie in its own right (OK, it's not Once upon a Time in the West - but neither is it On The Buses).

And Sally Phillips is just scrummy. She can do no wrong as far as I'm concerned. And, apparently, she is a very nice person too.

So... this is never going to be on anyone's Top Ten, but give it a chance. I think some of the negativity it's had is completely over the top. I hope it does get a theatrical release - I think it deserves that.