Trojan Warrior

I had 2 free rentals on my video ezy card, my brother rented 2 movies, this and 'The master of disguise'.

I wasnt expecting this to be good, but I didnt expect it to resemble a grade 6 student film. cuz that would have been better, I know the guys who made it were just having fun and it was suposed to be cheesy and fun, but it wasnt, it was just mind numbingly bad. so bad that Stan 'the man's performance stood out among a sea of poo.

Out of the two films "Master of disguise" was light years above this, and I truly hated that also.

Avoid like the plague. that would be more pleasant though.

I mean really. This is not going to help the Australian film industry to make this kind of film with no values of any kind. Okay, if you're a stoner and have nothing better to do, then maybe. I think film-makers from here should try to show the rest of the world what great talented people we have, and this is not the vehicle for it. Come on now, this film is just tacky.

The cover art (which features a man holding a scary pellet gun) would make it seem as if it's a martial arts film. (Hardly.)

I find it interesting that the film's real title is Trojan Warrior. (Trojan is a brand of condoms in the US) This movie is loaded with homoeroticism. If you like that stuff, then this film isn't that bad really. However, consider these points:

There are numerous close-ups of actors' groins & butts, (One scene even features every actor with an erection bulging in his pants.) the film is also bathed in gaudy colors like lime, peach, and red. From a cinematographer's standpoint, this movie's a drag queen! Several scenes feature characters standing EXTREMELY close to one another, occasionally touching as they converse. Also, the cousin of the hero likes women, and every other guy in the movie is trying to kill him. Is there a message here the filmmakers want to convey?

Shall I go into the fight scenes? (Yes, someone's private parts get grabbed in one fight.) The martial arts scenes are brief and unimaginative. No fancy stuff here, just your standard moves you'd see in an old Chuck Norris flick. There's also a car chase scene which may be the first ever LOW-speed chase put on film.

The above phrase should indicate that this film is NOT going to be an arty, girly, poncy, namby-pamby NICE movie. It has Mark "Jacko" Jackson in it, for cryin' out loud. It's silly. It's ultra-cheap. It's cliched (Tang looks like he's straight out of a 70's kung fu flick. He should have been dubbed.) But the thing some people don't seem to realise is that the makers of this underworld gem are COMPLETELY AWARE of that. They're not TRYING to make an award-winning movie. They're just having fun. And knowing that, we have fun as well. And if fun is not a quality you like in a movie, don't rent it. Rent some boring movie with pretty scenery. As for me, I thought this movie's sheer knowing crapness was what made it so great. My one beef is that there weren't enough fight scenes. That's obviously where Stan's talent lies, and it wasn't utilised enough. Apart from that, GREAT MOVIE!

The big question surrounding this atrocious movie is "who the hell gave the producers the money to make it!?" There are so many talented people out there, some with really great scripts, yet this embarrassing junk gets the green light!

The story was unimaginative and the cinematography high schoolish. There is nothing in this movie that can be recommended. It is a failure on all points and I'm just sorry that I handed over $7 to see it.

Seal all copies in a vault and forget about it.