Cryptz

Tymez lives with his mother and hopes to perhaps become a rapper with his buddies. His mother wants him to get a job, but when he goes out he gets together with his friends and they spot a busty woman and flirt with her. They then try to find the club she works at, "Cryptz," by calling a spooky friend of theirs named Truck who they think know all about underground clubs and things like that. He's a meditating muscleman.

Truck warns them against trying to find the woman or the club, and when he learns Tymez was touched by her, he instructs them to duct tape him to his bed. Instead, they fall asleep in front of a TV, and Tymez wakes up with his face burning and he runs to the club with his friends in tow. At the club, they're pretty happy watching women dancing, but when the call Truck again they're warned again, and indeed most of the people at the club are vampires!

This was a fairly silly low-budget horror movie, so it's hard to be too harsh on it. However, some of the scenes really drag. The scene where the three guys are trying to decide how to find the woman goes on for a long time, for example, with little camera movement. I guess they felt obligated to shoot all the dialog that was scripted, and then were happy with it, but it could have been cut down.

The ending is fairly lame. The day ends, but there are some loose ends almost like a set-up for a sequel, and weirdest of all is something involving Tymez' tattoo.

Not recommended, but as I said, it's not terrible.

Kind of a black version of From Dusk Till Dawn only without all the excess of the latter. Anyway, this is a direct to video film from Full Moon. It is better then a lot of the films they have been putting out lately (much, much better then Dead and Rotting), but because these films budgets have been so extremely limited right now, there really isn't anything the makers of this film could really do. I will give them credit, they certainly tried. Budget limits pretty much kill an interesting idea.

This movie was really bad. The acting was horrible. The special effects were bad. The vampires did not seem threatening at all. Apparently in this movie vampires are simply abnormally strong people with sharp teeth who like to drink blood. If you have a karate fighting muscle man on your side than the average vampire is no contest. The vampire hunter doesn't even use weapons. So silly. This movie is on the same level as a bunch of teenagers trying to make a vampire movie with a hand recording camera.. and I'm not exaggerating. I thought this movie was a sequel to the very popular and entertaining TALES FROM THE CRYPT. Instead I ended up watching one of the worst stripper vampire movies since Bordello of Blood. Putting a bunch of attractive girls in a movie with some fight scenes aren't going to satisfy most people. Avoid this movie unless you and your friends want a good mystery science theatre film to make fun off. The only bonus is the DVD comes with another movie. I don't recall it being advertised so I was surprised to find it. The second movie is RAGDOLL, which is actually worse than Cryptz, so the surprise bonus was a real let down. At least with 2 movies I got half my rentals worth. Overall it's not worth your time.

I've been on somewhat of a horror kick lately. It all started last year when I rented Draven's "Hell Asylum." Easily the worst film I'd ever seen. But I saw a trailer for "Dead & Rotting" and I found myself interested, if only to have a good laugh. D&R was slightly better but not good at all. I gave Hell Asylum a 1/10 and D&R a 2/10. So flash forward now to this year where I rented "Draniac!" Horrible piece of garbage. 1/10. Then "Bleed," 2/10, perhaps only better for the sake of lots of nudity, although I don't see the appeal of Debbie Rochon? She's pale as all hell and is not attractive at all. I'm getting to "Cryptz", ok? Either for Hell Asylum or D&R I saw the trailer for "Cryptz", which also interested me but I didn't get around to renting it for an entire year. I'm glad I finally saw it. This is the best of the Schlock Horror movies I've ever seen. While the production value is still not there, the story and actors were thoroughly enjoyable. I didn't dig on the hooded druids all that much, but Draven himself ripped on them as well in the documentary. That's right! The DVD of Cryptz has a documentary on the making of this film. I urge you to check it out. The cast & crew seemed to really enjoy themselves here, and I found it interesting for the fact that I'm looking for a career in film as well. Not bad at all. 5/10

Cryptz (2002) is a movie I recently watched on Tubi. The storyline follows some aspiring rappers who have a curse put on them by a stripper. They follow the stripper to the strip club to be released of the curse and discover the strip club is full of vampires. The rappers will need to hack their way out if they hope to survive.

This movie is directed by Danny Draven (Patient Seven) and stars Choice Skinner (Black Lightening), Rick Irvin (Heavenly Deposit), Lunden De'Leon (We're the Millers) and Olimpia Fernandez (Killjoy 2).

The acting, dialogue and storyline in this are all as awful as it sounds. There was a Chris Tucker wannabe that was a bit corny. The girls in this are even inconsistent, which is sad based on the setting. There should have been more nudity based on the storyline. The kills are uneven with a couple good ones with solid gore and blood splatter.

Overall this movie is a disaster that I'd recommend skipping. I'd score this a 1/10.