U.S. Catman: Lethal Track

Well this is one movie that I stumbled upon. A friend of mine sold me a bunch of dvds and Catman was one of them. The plot seems to jump from one point to another. First we have a guy named Sam who gets scratched by a radioactive cat, thus giving him superhuman powers. Next the plot jumps to a girl who looks like a boy who drives a dirtbike and has a shotgun. Than, the story goes to a group of Asian rebels at war with a group criminals led by a guy with an eyepatch. Sam or Catman, however goes into battle with a priest named Cheever. I found it overall to be an amusing effort to throw a movie together with a small budget. I would recommend it to those who like strange, cheap budget movies. But thats just my views.

I'm not quite sure why this movie was made. Even a mediocre film student would have hung his head in shame with this effort. This was apparently two different movies shot at two different times with two different casts, which neither was strong enough to prop itself into a corner to support itself alone.

It wasn't even entertaining which, at the end of the day, is about the only reason that an action/adventure movie is made.

Kudos to the director and editor for having the guts to slap these pieces of film together, although they had no storyline, acting, visual appeal, or even anything in common with each other. Also credit must be given to the company which made the blender into which the film must have been thrown for editing.

I'd like to say this is the worst movie ever made. But the truth is, i dont think this movie was made. It was birthed in a port-o-potty by underpaid staff on a strict diet purchased from eateries on wheels. After cooking in the fresh hell of a concrete jungle for the better part of a month, some cracked-out maden of the night fished this movie out of the shallow depths of dispare with her used coat hanger, and rinsed it in her deseased menstruation. She then burned it to a dvd, and promptly passed into the next hell relm of her chosen faith. Upon finding the disk in her bloated puss filled fingers, a corner took the liberty to watch it and turned, like a character from evil dead after reciting from the necronomicon. Driven utterly mad, he spent his remaining two weeks on this earth making copies of the disk and packaging it, fueled by the smokey intentions of a disembodied demon witch and her curse of blight upon the film industry. After copying it enough times to fill his apartment wall to wall, top to bottom, he too shed his mortal coil as he had worked in a stuporous daze without food, water, or sleep. When clearing the apartment some moths later, an enterprising young someone saw the volume of disks and sought to bypass any sort of due process that films get, and rented a truck to remove and relocate the stock to a new location. He had been hard at work at this same building of the apartments as many people had strangely dissapeared or turned up dead with horrid looks twisted into their vissage. Seeing the inventory, he thought he had caught a lucky break, and was planning to sell the whole lot to a movie rental franchise. All it took was one sampling of the wares, and he too met his fate on the drive to relocate the inventory. As the truck sat in an impound lot, the town had an unprecedented uptick in violent home abuses, and church attendacnce fell to zero. A pastor, now out of work and on the ropes financially, sought guidance, and through what he thought was devine intervention (but in reality was quite opposite of devine), found the wrecked truck and its contents, and carried out the deed set forth so long ago. The plot to distribute these disks in an effort to disperse the evil wrott by that aids riddled crone, so as to heal his city by diluting the suffering of plague, famine, and crippling bouts of diarrhea caused by this movie's existance, while also making a tithe-y little profit seemed a one stone/two bird trick, and so Kmart bought and distributed this disk in the year 2000. Shortly after, it too fell into complete financial ruin, and filled chapter 11 bankruptcy.

There is a sickness attatched to this disk. Words fail to convey the imperitive, but still i try: Do Not Seek Treasure Here! There is none but ruin to those who tread upon the grounds.

I have seen well over 1000 movies, and this one lands squarely at the bottom of my list. If it were possible to give a movie a negitive score, this one has earned that honor. Its not worth the plasic its printed on, and certainly not worth the time to even read the cover art, which is misleading at best.

Catman in Lethal Track is truly one of the masterworks of the decade. though originally produced in Japan, it is almost perfectly subtitled. Catman in Lethal Track has one of the best plot developments i have ever seen. It also stresses good morals and leadership, because Catman heroically saves the lives of innocent people throught the movie. Catman in Lethal Track also contains a vivid and livley musical score- it is un-parraleled even to the masterpeices of mozart, beethoven, bach, and others. All in all, Catman in Lethal Track is a great movie. Scince it's here right on this website you should buy it. It's a fine movie that is for the whole family to enjoy.

-also look for catman 2: in boxer's blow hitting the shelves in 2001

ah yes, catman.

its an awful dub with stiff voice actors and poor acting in general. basically we have a middle aged guy who gets scratched by a radioactive cat. all of a sudden he can turn his tv ON AND OFF without a remote, thats right fellas, no remote, no buttons, CRAZY SPECIAL EFFECTS EH?

after that, he decided it would be a good idea if he punched a hole in his apartment, so he does.

in the night he magically aquires a black jumpsuit with a sticker of a cat on it, some visor with a plastic dongle in the middle and a cat computer. we dont' see the cat computer, but we can only assume it must be awesome.

this movie is really like two stories in one, you get to watch a bunch of angry asian guys talk with each other, kill people, and swear for no apparent reason. 2 stories in one indeed. catman and the angry asians never really meet.

the ending is simply FANTASTIC

i'd say this film is well worth the purchase price, i found it in the 1 dollar bin at a used bookstore. the cover alone is hilarious.

just buy it if you see it, it'll make you laugh when you watch it, and it'll make you cry when its over...once you realize it wasn't supposed to be funny.

i can't tell you what happens in the end, but i can say that the plastic dongle on his glasses ends up being the most important dongle the world has EVER seen.