Scary Tales: The Return of Mr. Longfellow

I've followed Felissa Rose's career for quite some time now. "Sleepaway Camp" is about my favorite horror flick of all time. Over the years, she's done some no budget dreck. However, flicks like "Horror" and "Satan's Playground" show she's coming back.

In the middle of her slump, she starred in this low (almost no) budget feature. I assumed the worst, as it never seemed to be released. I finally found a copy at the Chiller con in New Jersey...dumped in the middle of a table with about five thousand other terrible-looking titles.

So, I popped it in - expecting the worst.

What I got was a surprise.

A movie with so many tone shifts - "scary" (which it never really is) to "funny" (yeah, I chuckled a few times) to "bizarre" back to "silly" and I guess to "scary" again.

Ummm. I'm not sure what the filmmakers were thinking - but, as a change of pace, it kind of worked on me. Unfortunately, Ms. Rose was left with a supporting role in the second segment (the film is an anthology of short stories), and doesn't have much to do. On the bright side, Joe Estevez is a hoot. The big chinned guy from Tango and Cash is also in this too, but like Felissa Rose, doesn't have much to do.

The acting ranges from bad to terrible to great. Joe Estevez is outstanding. The guy who played Longfellow hilarious. The other guy in the noisy suit really fantastic. Other performances don't fare too well...until I heard the commentary where I realized the actors thought they were in a scary film, but the directors new it was a joke. I guess this theory forces you to laugh at them - which is what the filmmakers intended (I hope). The "scariest" thing about these tales is the fact they're so clichéd - and done so on purpose, one would assume.

As for everything else... The score is decent. Effects surprisingly good. Sound excellent. Sets minimal. Wardrobe blah (did everyone in the first segment wear white, or was it my imagination?). The stories, well, so bizarre at times...they kind of work, despite their base core being overly recycled.

I guess, in conclusion, as far as low budget cinema is concerned, this is high up in terms of production values. It's fun, for sure. Never really slow. I can't say it's great - but I can say it's different, and better than most stuff collecting dust on the video store shelves. The movie really works because no one camps it up. The "Scary Tales" title is more like "Scary Movie", whereas the tales are only scary to the person in the film hearing them and a joke to the audience.

In the end, I guess I'm glad I bought this thing. I'd try to find the original, but that may take another 2 years (and there's no Felissa!).

As for Felissa, here's to Return to Sleepaway Camp!

I'm someone who likes horror movies because they're funny, not scary.

This movie was made for me.

There's 3 stories with a story that connects them, like Creepshow, but this movie was a lot more fun.

The part at the car lot which links everything together was hilarious. There's this character named Wesley who looks like a crazy version of Kurt Russel in Used Cars. He wears make-up, a terrible plaid suit and chomps on mini cigars (and the scenery).

The first story is about a guy who visits a cabin in the woods. It turns out he's heading for group therapy. People start getting killed, and the gore effects are actually pretty good - including a cringing baseball bat to the forehead. Brutal.

The second "Scary Tale" was funny. This guy has a box of Acme Brand chocolate bars which turns some gang members called the zombies into zombies. It's really, really silly and fast paced.

The final tale has awesome acting. It reminded me of the Twilight Zone. This guy with stolen money almost has a car accident and ends up at this hotel he can't leave. Joe Estevez is fantastic (I bought a copy which was pre-autographed by him and the director from a cult movie store in New Jersey).

Loved this movie! I haven't listened to the commentary, but I can't wait.

I must admit, this was one of the first "underground movies" I've ever seen, and to be honest, it looks a lot better than the stuff that's on TV and in chain movie stores.

At least someone's still making fun horror movies. Aside from Shaun of the Dead, everything that's straight to video, or in theaters, has no personality. This movie's subtle about being over the top (which is really hard to do). A must find! IT makes fun of all sorts of clichés - although, it took my neighbor 3 viewings to figure out it wasn't serious. He loves it now too.

I borrowed this from a friend who has a small role in the film. He said it is going to be released later this year.

I'm not a very big horror fan, and haven't really watched many films that are considered independent.

That in mind, I did enjoy this. Not as much as the original Scary Tales (I borrowed both movies), because this one is so fast paced. The first one took it's time going from one story to the other. This one is literally one joke after the other. Plus, it's a little bloodier than I usually like to watch (the original only had a few bloody scenes).

If you decide to get this, the third story is the best one. Joe Estevez is really good in that one.

The best thing about these movies is that they aren't as scary as the title implies. Although, if campy or over-the-top horror movies aren't your thing, I would avoid.

7.5 out of ten.

I enjoyed the first Scary Tales, even though it had some flaws (most noticeably the pacing of the movie and the acting).

However, I was very pleasantly surprised with Scary Tales: The Return of Mr. Longfellow. The sequel is strides above the first, and it also shows Hoffman's growth as both a writer and director.

One thing of notice is the movie gets very dark at times (in tone), but is reeled back in to keep it light. I'm hoping to one day see a movie where Hoffman lets it go and puts out a darker themed movie.

Sometimes you see movies put out from lower-budgeted directors and the continuing movies show no learning curve, but that is not the case here.

Can't wait for the next movie.

Michael Hoffman has taken a small pile of cash and made and incredibly entertaining anthology movie. Don't be fooled by the meagre funding of this movie, and make time to see it - you will not be disappointed! The entire film is incredibly well written, and somehow Hoffman has managed to assemble a cast of credible actors which lift this movie above the typical low-budget production. If you are a fan on anthology movies like Creepshow, Tales from the Crypt, Tales from the Darkside etc, then you will really enjoy Scary Tales 2. Three stories and a wraparound tale which all have a unique twist in the tail. What are you waiting for? Get onto the website and grab a copy today!