Le chien qui valait six milliards

So much wasted potential here. Seeing as we're on the dawn of the age of android animals (within 15 years they're be extremely lifelike), I really thought that this would be a great movie to show what they were about. They could have brought up such questions as "is it good that we are replacing real animals with fake ones?" or thoughts about how dependent we are on technology to make us happy.

Instead, about 9/10s of the movie is spent on developing the flat stereotypical characters of a single mother, a boy that hasn't gotten over loss of a parent, some weird science guy that has no social skills yet has "heart", an evil fiance that is gotten rid of by the end, and two weird villains without clear motives other than "money". The dog maybe stars in a few of the scenes, but the future that could have been forecast was thrown down the pooper. Also, the dog was a real dog anyway, just "enhanced". Mindless and stupid.

Dang. I guess I'll have to continue writing my own android animal novel and try to get that turned into a movie...

Catching Cybermutt on TV in a drunken haze turned out to be quite rewarding, as it's one of the most unintentionally hilarious films we've ever seen. With a dog seemingly trapped in overused slow-motion effects, every cliché in the book (dog hero, conveyor belt slowly sending a boy to the blades and of course, the hot mum) and acting so bad there are no known adjectives to describe. They blow the budget on cheap effects so the viewer can really sympathies with the lovable computerised canine.

Contrary to everything we've been saying, we loved it. Rummage around in the bargain bin in every store in every town, somewhere. You'll find it and maybe you'll start seeing things through Cybermutt's cheap, sub-Terminator eyes.

Dan and Mike.

This is why we should have more Canada/UK/German film partnerships in the future.

I watched this epic w/ my family the other night. My son and I had to leave the room, as our laughing at the (unintentionally) funny bits was not allowing the rest of the group to enjoy lines spoken in a broken, German/California/Canadian accent. Memorable dialogue like, "Loud, you know...gun." Or, "You put pentathol in the I.V.?...WONDERFUL!!!!!" (Accompanied by a frenzied, wide-eyed German bad guy expression).

The shining moment came when little Nino was overcome w/ fear of an impending terrorist attack, and wrapped himself from head to toe in duct tape. This young talent has a future as our Homeland Defense spokeskid.

I also liked that there was a DOG in the movie for about 15 minutes. You know, CyberMUTT. Not the "Judd Nelson needs to pay his rent" two hour telethon.

When can we expect "Cybermutt II: Rebooted"?

While rummaging thru the old VHS tapes at my local video store I needed one more movie to get the discount along with the 2 others I'd picked. So in my defense Cybermutt only cost me 2 bucks and due to the ongoing heat wave I thought I'd picked a truly great piece of film to spend my Sunday evening. A bionic dog with superpowers! How could I lose? My prediction couldn't have been more off. In my mind I had pictured a dog that could shoot laser beams out of his eyes, pee sulfuric acid and hopefully throw down a mean rap when not out saving the day. Instead Cybermutt can only really run in slow motion and smell jellybeans. Oh yeah and he jumps thru glass windows and chain link fences but only if techno music and jet engine noises are playing in the background.

But at least the makers of this film sparred no expense when it came to the sets and special effects. It really shows when wacky bio-scientist Alex Branson (a self-made gazillionaire as we find out) saves Cybermutt's life with his high tech gadgets. I guess Ikea is the place to shop for cutting edge biotechnology after all.

The acting is wonderful too. I'm Canadian so when a movie is shot in Canada I almost always recognize some actor from Canadian TV or commercials, but for the life of me I didn't recognize anyone but Judd Nelson. The actor who is the restaurant owner is so bad that me and my friend thought he was trying to be Chinese, then Russian, then Italian, then Chinese again, then Mongolian, until finally he starts yelling about Cybermutt eating all of his burritos while standing beside a piñata so we knew now he was supposed to be Mexican.

Anyway Cybermutt was mildly entertaining but only because I found it hit new lows in animal-based hijinks movies (which to be honest I why I got it anyway). But if you under the age of 5 or still wear Velcro shoes I can assure you that Cybermutt won't disappoint you.

Juliet's tweenager son, Nino, is having a difficult time dealing with the death of his father to cancer. Nino has no friends, except his beloved dog, Rex, and he is being bullied in school, too. One day, when Juliet and Nino are out in a park, walking Rex, they meet a doctor named Alex (Judd Nelson). Alex is testing a robotic contraption and Nino is fascinated. Unexpectedly, a car comes toward them all and Rex jumps to push Dr. Alex out of the way. Rex is very seriously hurt. Dr. Alex insists that he can keep Rex alive and make him better than new, if they take him to his laboratory. Rex, with the help of Alex and his fellow doctor-fiancé, does indeed make it. Nino's retriever now has the most superior powers of a bionic dog. Yet, trouble is brewing. There may be someone out to kidnap Rex. Will Rex be snatched away from the boy who loves him? This is a nice movie for families, especially those who are partial to animal flicks. Nelson is charming as the rumpled but golden-hearted scientist. The rest of the cast is also nice, with Michelle Nolden giving a sweet performance as Juliet. Rex is a lovable and talented dog who will melt hearts as he goes from near death to superdog. The production values and costumes are fine as well. For those who love films that embrace family values, while producing chuckles and excitement, this is a great choice. Children will love the boy and his dog theme while adults will appreciate the quiet love story that emerges, too.