Kermit: Les années Têtard

stars: Steve Whittemire as Kermit and other. Bill Barretta as Croaker and D'fly. John Kennedy as Arnie the alligator and others. Dave Goelz as Waldorf. Jerry Nelson as Statler.

Interesting little movie about Kermit when he was little. The good things about it were the great look the movie had due to the cameras they used to film it. It had funny references to the Muppets as they are today, including Kermit mentioning that he doesn't like pigs, an appearance by young men Statler and Waldorf and Arnie the alligator which was a character that appeared on the show and was in the Muppet Movie. The plot was that Kermit and Croaker the frogs are going to be dissected for a school project, but escape. Meant for little kids, but adults will enjoy it too.

My rating: B minus. 81 mins.

Kermit's Swamp Years (2002, Dir. David Gumpel)

Kermit the Frog whilst on his travels back to the swamp he grew up on, remembers one of his earlier adventures. Kermit, Croaker, Goggles and Blotch are sent on a wild adventure into the outside world, when Croaker and bully Blotch and kidnapped and placed in a pet store. It's now up to Kermit and Goggle, with help from a friendly dog called Pilgrim to save them. But someone else has his eye on them. Dr Krassman wants to buy all the frogs and use them in biology lessons.

When you first look at 'Kermit's Swamp Year's', it should be obvious at first, that it is not going to live up to the fun you get when watching a 'Muppets' title, but after watching Kermits life, it's obvious what is missing; The Muppets. Most things are here. The suitable story, the quality of the puppets and even Waldolf and Statler. The songs are slightly disappointing, with the longest song being quite bad. It can sometime feel very drawn out, and makes you really miss the likes of Miss Piggy and Gonzo. But still if you are a Muppet fan, then you should at least catch up on this story, but youngest are gonna like it more.

"I'm not a froggy pants." - Young Hugo Krassman (Hampton Dixon)

I try not to rip on films made specifically for young children because I know there were films I loved when I was a kid that established movie critics trashed. For instance, I have fond memories of watching "The Chipmunk Adventure" (1987) as a child. However, at the time it was released into theaters, Siskel & Ebert were unabashed at expressing their hatred for the film, stating how the Chipmunks' and Chipettes' voices annoyed them the most, and the diamond theft operation plot was unoriginal. Hey, I still love the movie, even though it was a box office flop.

"Kermit's Swamp Years" is a direct-to-video film that will probably appeal to children, but probably not to adults. I admired some things about the story, but it has nothing on "The Muppet Movie" (1979), "The Great Muppet Caper" (1981), or "The Muppet Christmas Carol" (1992).

This movie could be considered a prequel to "The Muppet Movie", since we see Kermit in the beginning of that movie famously playing a banjo in his swamp homeland. Here, Kermit returns to the swamp, and breaks the fourth wall by telling the viewers about when he was 12, and his frog friends Croaker and Goggles, decide to venture out from the safety of their swamp into the "real world". Almost immediately after seeing the dirt road outside the swamp area, Kermit and company are hunted down by haughty, 9th grade biology teacher Hugo Krassman (John Hostetter) and his cute, but inept, assistant Mary (Kelly Collins Lintz). While escaping them, Goggles is captured by a well-meaning pet shop owner and taken into the town of Leland. Kermit and Croaker, with the help of a stray dog named Pilgrim, go into the town to find him, and the story really takes off.

The main strength of this movie is the conflict, namely frog versus world. I liked how the climax involved a high school biology class, and how frogs were routinely taken in to be dissected (in my high school, we dissected pigs, but that's another story). While John Hostetter was delightfully over the top, I couldn't help but think of Peter Ustinov when I watched him act. I suppose that's good for his character. If Ustinov was alive today, this would have been a great role for him.

While the conflict had the power to elicit a good story, I wasn't a big fan of Goggles. I got that he was an obsessive compulsive frog who was afraid of, or allergic to, everything, but he came off as very whiny to the point of sheer annoyance. Of course, Kermit had to put up with other Muppets with annoying character traits on "The Muppet Show", so it would be natural to still save his friend anyway. I have always respected that nobility of Kermit. Seriously.

I also thought there was a nice subtle tribute to Jim Henson in this movie, as Kermit walks along and passes by a boy who sees him. The boy is standing in front of his house, and the mailbox you see has the name "Henson" on it. The closeup on the mailbox wasn't necessary, though, as if the audience couldn't figure that one out for themselves. Also, I wish the boy did more than just look at Kermit.

Probably one of the main reasons this film went directly to video was because the songs weren't very memorable. There could have been a better song written for Kermit to sing as he gases upon a star in the sky. "When You Wish Upon A Star" (from "Pinocchio" (1940)) can't be the limit to songs about stars in kids films. I also thought the song the rabbit sang about how great it is to be a pet was not good enough. Given the great songs Paul Williams wrote for "The Muppet Movie" and "The Muppet Christmas Carol", it was a shame they could not get him to write songs for this movie.

Also, being a huge Muppet fan, I was a little let down that only two Muppets from "The Muppet Show", Statler & Waldorf a.k.a. "The Two Old Guys On The Balcony", made a cameo in this movie. Although an overload of Muppets would have hurt this movie, I thought it would have been cool to have Dr. Bunsen Honeydew and Beaker appear even briefly in the high school lab. The voice of the star calling for Kermit sounded quite a bit like Miss Piggy too, yet that cameo would have been a stretch, especially considering how hard it must be to hire Frank Oz these days.

The film also had a missed opportunity to see the other frogs all grown up. The familiar older Kermit serves as a framework for this story. When it ends, it shows him heading into the swamp because, he says, he is still friends with Croaker and Goggles. You hear their voices, but you don't see them, and that made for a clunky ending.

So Muppet fans like myself may be disappointed that this film doesn't live up to the high quality of the previous, theatrically-released Muppet films. However, I bet kids will like it, and I can't fault them for liking such a movie. If "Kermit's Swamp Years" obtains a cult following, what right do I have to tell people they can't like a film? It's something I try not to do anyway.

although I couldn't put my finger on why. I could have picked it up at Wal-Mart for five bucks, and yet I didn't. There was something about the packaging and the ads I'd seen that made me think "This isn't a Muppet film. This is a kids' movie by people who think they know what kids like" and I didn't know what made me think that way.

Until a few minutes ago, when the answer struck me like a lead brick: Color.

In most, if not all, Muppet productions to date, it has been much easier to ignore the fact that the characters are fairly brightly colored, felt objects, because of the surrounding color. The Muppet Show took place in a dimly lit theater, with dark burgundy curtains serving as Kermit's introductory backdrop. Sesame Street is, for the most part, dark grey. Fairly subdued, real-type places. The Muppet Movie ranges the gamut, but it always takes place in real locations, with no bright colors added for the sake of bright colors. And that's what was missing from (at least the promotional portions of) this movie. It seemed like they were aiming for kids because nothing seemed real. Including the grass. Including the swamp. None of it seemed like it was even *attempting* to be real, and so it was difficult for me to take it seriously enough to even desire to watch it.

It might be a good movie. I don't know. Maybe I'll learn different sometime.

But for this Muppet fan, it was just asking for one unbelief-suspension too many.

Oddly, "The Swamp Years" is about Kermit's adventures away from the swamp. The plot takes its good-hearted turns rather abruptly, without much signalling in advance. There are some in-jokes like Kermit's first encounter with a pig-- the sort of joke more likely to inspire a knowing nod than a guffaw. There are some poop jokes, which I don't think Jim Henson would have put up with. Kermit's voice is pretty good, except for an occasional underpronounced vowel. The music is well chosen, but there isn't enough of it and some of the lyrics are lame. I think my favorite character was Kermit's mother, who is more obviously a human hand than today's Muppets usually are. For some reason, I found it rather touching that when you go back in Kermit's ancestry you find the human creator more thinly disguised.