Hansel & Gretel

The Brothers Grimm wrote a short story called "Hansel & Gretel." Tag Entertainment did a fair job at converting it into a movie, although the film probably would play better on television. The film switches back and forth between the actual story of Hansel & Gretel and the father who is reading the Hansel & Gretel story to his kids. The kids, one of whom is Dakota Fanning (from "I Am Sam") are far better actors than the adults. Delta Burke's character, in particular, is very exaggerated and over-the-top, in the style of Edie McClurg. The woods that Hansel & Gretel get lost in are painfully obvious indoor sets. Trees in the background are flat paintings and, in the more distant background, there appears a blue wall where there should be dense stands of trees. Kids won't notice, though, and the movie is aimed at kids. The Sandman, as portrayed by Howie Mandel, comes across as buffoonish and silly and not very likable. And why oh why does almost every kid-oriented movie have to contain so many farts and belches? But of course "Hansel & Gretel" made no promises to greatness, and the average kid will enjoy it.

Hansel and Gretel, is the story of two kids who meet a witch in a house made of gingerbread. But this version, is twisted.

The stepmother, wants to live in a house with a tv, and thinks the kids will stop her from that. So, she takes them into the woods, and leaves. Hansel & Gretel get lost, and meet the sandman, a wood fairy and the troll.

But, a "twister" blows them towards a gingerbread house, and a near-sited old woman comes out, offering them food... but, the woman is not what she seems...

This film has a great cast, and the story is great. But, there are several gags that slow down the storyline. One of which, is that the story is being told by a father telling his children. (the father is "reading" the book, but makes things up, which explains the twisted version)

This film is good, but the gags might tempt you to turn it off, before you even see the witch in her gingerbread house.

7/10

A father reads a bedtime story to his kids (Dakota Fanning). It's the story of Hansel (Jacob Smith) & Gretel (Taylor Momsen). While their father (Gerald McRaney) is away, the evil stepmother (Delta Burke) abandons the kids in the Magic Forest. They meet the Boogeyman (Tom Arnold) and a Troll (Bobcat Goldthwait). They befriend the Sandman (Howie Mandel) and a Wood Faerie (Alana Austin). They get lost in a storm and encounter a Witch (Lynn Redgrave) with her delicious house.

This is a cheap ugly looking movie. The sets are bad. The Troll and Boogeyman costumes are really ugly and cheap. I don't even know why they are needed for the movie. Howie Mandel is being a little wacky which is good. Alana Austin is sexed up with her short shorts and a gun? I don't know why the camera is lingering on her legs for this kids movie. The movie goes to Lynn Redgrave and that section is fine. Although I always thought the point of the story is that the kids got greedy.

This is a fun flick.

The actors do a good job. Delta Burke is excellent and Lynn Redgrave has many funny lines. The child actors did a good job as well. And while I usually don't care much about Howie Mandell, I think he struck the right note as the Sandman.

Yes, the sets are simple, but this is a fairy tale. Fairy tales are skin and bones--nighttime stories--they are not meant to be miracles of on-location production.

Maybe I'm old school, but I'll take a good story with good actors on a simple stage over fancy special effects any time. My wife and I watched Hansel and Gretel after we watched Cloverfield (with all of its special effects, including intentional shaky camera), and we thought H&G was way better.

Plus, there is no swearing, no boob or penis jokes, and no gratuitous violence. Not that I'm a prude, but I think they did a good job of preserving the message of the movie: magic resides in our dreams.

A fun film for the entire family.

This is supposed to be first-and-foremost a kids' movie, and I understand trying to also draw the adults in, but this movie not only fails at that miserably, but somewhat compromises what a kids' movie should be. For one thing, the word "seduce" does not even belong in a movie for kids, and yet was used at least a few times with obvious adherence to it's true meaning - nor did there need to be a wood-fairy dressed up in shorts that would more normally be seen on a Hooters waitress.

The modern-day references and product plugs that can be found throughout just felt entirely out of place in a fairy-tale. And it was just downright sad to see Howie Mandel stuck on using his "Bobby" voice in one of the scenes - just let it go man... let it go.

Not only that, but half the stuff that happens in the movie did not happen in the original Grimm brothers' tale - and yet at the end you have Howie Mandel's character burst onto the scene with two other characters that had no place in the story claiming that the Grimm brothers got all their inspiration from him and his party-crashing buddies. It was pitiful to see. Sometimes it is hard to imagine that the writers come up with this garbage and the actors just play along. I don't think I could take being forced to be complicit in that much blatant idiocy, unless I was making some serious bank.

In the end, if you have a chance to see this movie, don't. And if your kids have a chance to see this movie - forbid it. I felt embarrassed for all the parties involved on-screen the entire time I was watching it.