Man-Thing

Well this is excrement. It's supposedly about the Marvel Comics character Man-Thing but, in reality, it's a cheap little TV-quality grade-Z horror movie that has very little in common with the comics. Even then, there could be some value in this if it had even the slightest bit of talent behind it. But it doesn't and it sucks. The writing, acting, directing, special effects, music, and pretty much every single other thing you could think of is generic and cheap. The basic plot is that there's a creature in the swamp killing horny teenagers so the town's new sheriff investigates. This guy's the clichéd "big city cop turned country sheriff" character that has appeared in about ten thousand movies. He looks like a cross between Ed Westwick and a young Peter Deluise, so you can imagine what a commanding presence he has. He shows up in the bayou wearing a leather jacket and shades while toothless yokels say things like "You city boys shore are funny." Please. Honestly, just don't with this. It's garbage in every way. If you enjoy shitty made-for-TV/DVD horror movies then go right ahead and poison yourself with this stuff. I'd rather find something more productive to do with my time, like staring at the sun. Oh and Rachael Taylor's in this. Because it was made in Australia. Because that looks just like Louisiana. Because we're all idiots.

As a part time comic geek and a full time movie geek I was surprised that anyone would green-light a film based on the old Marvel comic "Man Thing." Obviously I had no expectations for this straight to DVD release when I saw it last week but all in all I was pleasantly surprised. Now don't get me wrong, "Man Thing" is by no definition the best comic book film ever made but it is at least true to it's origins unlike "Batman Forever" and "Batman & Robin." The basic story is pretty much a product of the "plot wheel" and you won't see any big name actors but if you treat it for what it is, a solid B-movie, there are worse ways to spend an hour and a half. The title creature looks as if the special effects and costume designers did their best to capture this little known character's appearance and movement. Not to say that this film doesn't have it's problems, bad annoying camera gimmicks and cartoonish supporting actors among them, however I don't believe that a reviewers job is to turn into a whinny nitpicker. If you really love the medium there aren't that many films that you can't find at least one good element in. "Man Thing" never stood a chance to be much more than a guilty pleasure but honestly you can't expect a first rate film adaptation of a third rate comic book. This is a film for B movie night and that's not necessarily a bad thing. Cut. Print.

The Schist oil company is polluting the Bywater swamp and the locals are up in arms about it – but that is nothing compared to how the guardian of the swamp, Man-Thing, feels. Man-thing will not rest until the drilling platform has gone, and until then he will kill anyone he can get his branches on.

New sheriff in the town, Kyle Williams, and sexy third grade school teacher, Teri, embark on a quest to put an end to the death and destruction.

Brett Leonard's adaptation of the Marvel comic books is an enjoyable and schlocky monster flick that never gets ideas above its station and is savvy enough to give its core audience exactly what they want; we get moderate gore, a smattering of nudity, a pretty decent monster and a plot that doesn't exactly tax the old grey matter.

The swamp locations are a sufficiently creepy setting for the tale. Swimming in mist and bathed in a spooky green glow, they allow Leonard to use shadows and light for maximum effect - at times concealing the horror and at others, revealing it in its full gory glory.

The effects – both the gore and the creature – are also pretty impressive. When Man-Thing gets busy on his victims, he doesn't hold back and we get a range of gruesome body parts splashed across the screen during its 105 minute running time.

In fact, the only thing that really lets this film down is its pacing. The film is too long (by about 20 minutes) and too much time is spent with characters either chatting or wandering aimlessly through the swamp. If there had been a little less talk and a little more action, I'd have rated it higher.

The Man-thing is your average monster movie, which is likely to appeal to the die hard fans of the genre, leaving all others wondering just what was the point of making it in the first place.

Yet, a few things stand out, mainly the scenery and the monster itself. The swamp was captured on film in a very ambiguous way, it that it is both realistic and somewhat nightmarish and disturbing. We owe that to the excellent cinematography, responsible for delivering an uncanny goldish light and the impressive shots of oozing green vegetation.

Now, the monster. Apparently, it was based on some Marvel creature I have never heard of. Either way, for a B movie, it was a very competent display of half man, half plant beast, something that could have easily become ridiculous, especially since I doubt the FX team had a large budget to work with. Still, I believe we get to see a bit too much of the Man Thing, the more footage there is on the creature the less impact it usually manages to create on the viewer.

Another thing that surprised me about this flick were the deaths. They are gruesome and convincing, with roots and barks impaling people throughout the movie. Not extremely gory but still very graphic in terms of sheer violence.

What kills this movie is the usual...a terrible cast, abhorred acting and a plot that is too shallow to hold. Everything is highly predictable and we all know who will die and who will make it. All that is part of the genre's conventions, and since the Man-thing aims to be a monster flick, and clearly is mostly concerned with the most dedicated of fans, I can say it achieved all of its goals.

There are reviews out there that claim this movie is horrid. um, you expected what exactly from a movie called "MAN-thing"? I'm familiar with the comic and sure, they've changed things like they did for the Blade character in his movies. Honestly I don't know what else they could of done without making this a goofy teen comedy about some ones "man thing" (ok now that penis joke is out of my system!!) This is B movie, pure and simple. Its a slasher/monster flick and when u view it as just that, not some citizen kane like master piece, then you'll enjoy it. It has some good Cheap scares and a monster tree that goes around butchering people. Did I mention that there is a lot of gore and plenty of violent deaths that would make a Friday the 13th fan happy? Graphic Tree tentacle/root impalings are the order of the day. The special effects are fine, the story does the job for this sort of movie, and its probably the bloodiest Marvel movie yet (I kid u not) The only thing that got to me was some of the casting. Now I know a lot of no name Australian Actors were cast for this movie and well... Aussies cant pull a southern accent off for crap. Its not a major problem, 15 minutes into it and you don't really notice (in between all the tree branch impalings!!) But I have to say that Jack Thompson and the female lead are the worst offenders in this regard. The rest of the cast do a decent job. Oh, and I've read some reviews on certain sites that the ManThing monster is hardly shown. Thats BS. The director takes the jaws route at the start of the movie, showing very little of the monster but by the last half hour u get to see plenty of him. And for a low budget flick, the monster effects are pretty cool - better than say - the monster effects in StarShip troopers 2, another low budget direct to video flick. Overall for a Direct to video movie, ManThing does the job. It would have been a misfire to release this theatrically, but for a sci fi channel/Direct to DVD movie this one is much much better than some of the other Direct to video movies (Boa Vs Python, dragon slayer etc etc) Worth a watch if ur into B movies or slasher or monster flicks with lotsa gore. 6/10