Hell Asylum

A friend bought this film as part of a collection of ten horror films for ten dollars. I was recently at their house and had the terrible misfortune to view it.

Hell Asylum is a hideous, hideous film with a blatantly ripped-off storyline from House on Haunted Hill.

Five beautiful stereotypes -the skank, the girl next door, the goth, the wannabe star, and the all attitude black chick- are sent to a haunted house as part of a reality TV show, and meet several not scary ghouls. The cloaked monsters provide no thrills, and the ending will have you either laughing or sleeping.

This film is bad. So bad it seems as if a film student made it just to pass film school (they wouldn't have passed) on a budget of $500. (Including actors' salaries.)

The awful, horrendous acting would be more suited in a Porn film and the 'gore' in Hell Asylum consists of 'intestines' which resemble spaghetti.

If only the Mystery Science Theater 3000 guys were still around to serve it the justice it deserves.

Watch out for the TV producer who bears a strange and unsettling resemblance to Martin Sheen. Except for the fact that Martin Sheen can actually act.

The scariest part of this film is the realization that someone actually paid money to have this produced.

Save your money at the video store and rent the Ring instead.

Hey, I've got an idea. Let's put five luscious babes in a haunted house and pay the one who lasts $1 million. Oh, we won't waste any time having then undress or anything like that, and we'll include a sex scene that is off camera. It'll be a reality show hit - I guarantee it.

So, we bring in the girls and lock one in the closet, and pour bugs on another, and then the ghosts who inhabit the house will rip them up and we have blood and bones all over the place. They still don't show us anything, and all they basically do is whine and scream.

If you are going to rip off another movie, at least show us something original. Not even scary.

Hell Asylum has a similar storyline to HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL, but don't expect it to be as entertaining. A group of young girls enter a haunted house in participation in a reality television show, if they last the night, they will recieve a million dollars. That's the whole story. Hell Asylum even plays like a reality television show by filming from the diffrent cameras located in the house, which are all black and white and often very snowy, add to that, the house is always in darkness so we get some confusing hard to watch footage of the girls getting killed. The death scenes were very bloody but it was hard to tell what was happening because of the darkness and snowy picture. On the plus side the characters were very interesting, each girl had a very diffrent personality to the next and i would have been more interested in seeing how they got along some more, but the girls began getting killed one by one before they even had a chance to settle in. My rating 4/10.

This movie is all over the place. What the heck are those grim reaper dudes anyway. Apart from eating peoples insides and whacking up people's faces and dropping bones all over the place. It's junk and the title music sucks. A typical low budget crappy movie. Apart from the usual small time actors and a hardly known producer company what has this movie got going for it.

Some of the acting is OK i'll give it that but the the movie has no plot.

Nothing

Stephen Dellabarca

No kidding, this was really bad!! Not even one bit thrilling, and the acting, it sucked as well. I have come to realize now that, if it has Full Moon on it, it will suck!! Now I know, and I will be aware of this fact. Back to this garbage though. Really stupid reality show idea of having these "hot" chicks stay all night in this old halfway house for a million dollars. Really lame acting and really lame "ghouls". Not enough words to describe how bad this sucked!!