Dead Pet

The box said "Funnier than 'Something About Mary!'" It must have been one of those fictional newspaper critics because only a fictional character would confuse this stinker with something that's actually entertaining. The acting is bad, the dialog is worse. The only scene that's even moderately funny involves a parody of the cutco knife marketing world, but this scene hardly saves the movie. I love independent films. This isn't even close to what I expect from a good independent film, I want to know who got bribed to get this turkey into the Hollywood video. And I want my five dollars back.

Obviously "Dead Pet" was produced with an ultra-low budget, but that never seems to get in the way. When Harvard student Jake Thompson returns home for the summer, his life begins to rapidly spiral out of control, beginning with his parents forgetting his birthday and to pick him up at the airport. From there things get worse as the family dog has gobbled up the remainder of his college money on a series of expensive operations. When the mutt turns up dead, Jake is accused of doing in the pooch. A series of hilarious headlines in the local paper chronicles Jake's downward plunge. Selling Matador quality cutlery to support himself, provides a great spoof of the in-home sales industry."Remember the phone is your lifeline". This little gem has a lot of heart, and a message not to let other people drag you down. Truly a winner. - MERK

This story is about the wacky life of a kid who comes home from college and finds his life turned upside down. As a film it doesn't compare to American Beauty but it does stand on it's own in the ranks of indie film. If you like indie film you will like this.

Dead Pet is the kind of movie that a huge video store will have one copy of, if that. It was clearly made on a non-existent budget and, if we are to believe the director's (or is that producer's?) introduction, shot in less than two weeks. Depending on which way you swing, those reasons alone are justification enough for dismissing or embracing it. I embrace it.

There is nothing particularly special about the plot. It starts in the middle and ends in the middle, with little backstory and no clear visions of the future. But you've seen the film or read the synopsis, so the plot is in your hands already. The real meat of the film is in it's characters. Each character has his or her own specific traits, and most of the actors bring them to life wonderfully. Jake is short tempered, but non-threatening. Willy is a shameless suck-up with a superiority complex. Eric obviously couldn't cut it as a real professional, so he throws himself completely into a very menial job. The Dukester... well, the Dukester is the Dukester.

It seems reasonable to worry that such pigeonholed players would become tired towards the tail end of the movie, but someone thought ahead. The film is less than eighty minutes long. At first I felt a bit cheated, but on repeated viewings I have come to believe that this is the perfect length. A great deal of wit is crammed into the picture as it stands. Adding more footage would be stretching it a bit.

I really hate to compare this film to Clerks, as they are from two different worlds. What they do have in common, however, is that their appeal is entirely in the dialog. Nothing of importance happens through the course of the film, yet you stay interested because the characters are saying the things you've always wanted to say. It's roughly the same theory with Dead Pet.

Jake Thompson returns home for summer to find out that his parents have spent his college trust fund on the family pet poodle Miko. I did not know a family could generate a college fund-enough to educate a child at Harvard-from collecting old cans.

How Jake could get into Harvard one will never know. How Jake attracts two women while swilling beer in a kiddie pool is more unfathomable.

But all of this is okay because Jake lives in an alternate reality not accessible without ingesting heavy amounts of narcotics.

Take this movie as a random melange of vignettes, all unrelated to one another and the movies captures amusing oddities of american trailer park charaters-I especially liked the knife loving Shears'-and equally clueless suburbirats.

Overall this movie is better than no movie, but almost any other would be better.