U.S. Seals II

Nu Image were once the most prolific producers of bland action films for the video market. They followed in the footsteps of Cannon films and PM Entertainment, emerging in the early 90s with their own stable of stars and distinctive low-budget aesthetics. The identifiable Nu Image style was a result of their reliance on dated methods of filmmaking, recycled themes and their recourse to South African and Eastern European production locations. U.S. Seals 2 is just one of many military action films made to this formula and it is the manner by which it exceeded expectation that has led many to highlight it as a minor classic in American action film history. Director Isaac Florentine has shown a great deal of promise in his career so far, despite failing to produce a 100% satisfactory product in my opinion, his work is notable for the injection of Hong Kong-style action choreography. U.S. Seals 2 was something of a breakthrough in his career and still one of his best films. An in name/theme only sequel to a typically dire Nu Image production, U.S. Seals 2 manages to surprise and amaze with its fight choreography, courtesy of Andy Cheng, a former member of Jackie Chan's exemplary stunt team. The film has many flaws, action clichés are present in abundance and the story is merely an excuse; the plot is a hybrid of Thunderball (Terence Young, 1965), The Rock (Michael Bay, 1996), Enter the Dragon (Robert Clouse, 1973), Broken Arrow (John Woo, 1996) and M-1:2 (John Woo, 2000). The characters and their actions are all drawn from familiar paradigms; from the hero who re-enters military service to face an old adversary, to the dying soldier who pleads for a message to be passed to his beloved. While some may be unable to stifle laughter during a viewing, Florentine and Cheng (co-starring and serving as 2nd unit director) deliver undeniably impressive action scenes that ensure this is a must see. If you approach it in the correct frame of mind you will applaud the creativity and forgive the flaws in logic. This is a martial arts film that requires an excuse to unite a team of skilled professionals to perform almost super-human feats. As such the plot is constructed on the premise that the villain is hiding out on an abandoned island, clouded in a methane gas. This means that guns are not permitted, requiring hand-to-hand combat. Genius. Unfortunately the concept is weakened by the fact that chains and bladed weapons are clashed with aplomb. But oversights in common sense just make this even more fun!

When I decided to see this movie, I was under the impression that it was an action movie. After about 5 minutes I was convinced that this had to be a comedy. Stupid one-liners like "We're warriors, we can't be held to the normal standard", or "No regret, only honor" made me certain that it was. I could not believe that anyone would make a movie like this, without it being a comedy. I first thought it was a good comedy, very subtle and not too slapstick.

Then it started dawning on me. It wasn't actually funny, just stupid. I checked back to imdb.com to see, and it being listed as an action movie, and not a comedy, was probably the funniest thing about it.

From the ludicrous (Adj. "Laughable or hilarious because of obvious absurdity or incongruity.") camera-angles to the boring and unoriginal plot, over to the choreography that has to had been done by a couple of monkeys, this movie was sheer torture to watch, and I feel that my time on this earth is valuable, and not worth wasting on filth like this.

It is a waste of time and money, unless you feel like watching a good example of how NOT to make a movie.

After watching movies like Hard Boiled, The Killer, Saving Private Ryan, and the mini-series called Band of Brothers, you would think that the standards of action-scenes had been raised, above this stereotypical nonsense which is closer to the early 80s low-budget era.

Finally, I just have to mention this; what was with all those swoosh-sounds? A guy raises an arm and you hear a swoosh-sound, like a big log has been swung past your ear. What the heck?! Same thing when a guy gets into a car, or someone turns around. Stupid stupid stupid.

I could probably point out dozens of examples of how this movie is both unbelievably unrealistic and stupid, but quite frankly, I think I've wasted enough time on this crap.

I think this movie is mostly inaccurate. Since when do navy seals use swords. This looks more like a movie about ninjas than anything. I mean anyone who has any knowledge of the armed forces would realize that they got their tactics wrong on this one. I am almost entirely sure that none of the armed services use sword of any kind. I mean the real navy seals are probably laughing at this movie. I mean this movie shows a lack of research regarding navy seals and the armed services in general. If I asked navy seals about about this this movie I am almost sure they would agree that this really shows the lack of knowledge of their tactics as well as the tactics of the military as a whole.

There is no way, someone could work on this movie and consider it a work of art. If there is a human being on this earth that envisioned this as their masterpiece, I will weep for mankind and the gene pool this person is adding too. I know this is a bit overly dramatic, but I'm bored and have nothing else to do. Enough people have written comments on how bad this movie is, so I won't mention the whooshing sounds, or the horrible acting, but I do feel the need to mention, that the high tech weaponry that one of the Seals was carrying that didn't cause a spark, was a paintball gun w/o the CO2 tank. I just mention that.

Ok lets start with the obvious, this movie is bad. Awful script, awful acting, unbelievably atrocious dialogue, budget the size of a car insurance advert and you could go on and on about how awful the film is.... but you would be wrong.

Just like a nugget of gold wrapped in layers and layers .... and layers of mud, get beneath the surface (really far beneath the surface)there is treasure to be found.

Lets start with the premise which is just an excellent excuse for some martial arts action. Ok ridiculously insane and evil bad guy has nukes and where is he launching them from? an island where the nuclear fallout of a past conflict would make a single gunshot ignite the whole island. (I am sure there is a reason why launching the nukes won't but I can't remember). So good guy puts together a crack squad of martial arts experts with dodgy pasts and different weapon specialities and prepares to kick ass. The film quickly reaches high octane stupidness, with hundreds of people battling it out in surprisingly well choreographed fight scenes.

The complete over the topness of the film gives it an infectious fun feel, a film which is the equivalent to a whole day spent in the pub with your best mates. This film is incredibly funny. Regardless of action taken a huge swishing noise accompanies it. I need to adjust my glasses (swish), I am going stand up (swish swish), I am walking (swish swish swish swish). The dialogue is hilarious and the fight scenes are sometimes outrageously funny, especially the closing fight scenes which are over the top brilliance. Sure its all unintentional funniness but its still funny.

Yes over the top martial arts violence, strippers and swearing. This is an excellent example of must watch with beer and mates category of action films.

In short its not big, its certainly not clever, in fact its not even any good. It deserves 2 or 3 it gets hmm 7.