Riders

This is one of the most horrible movies I have ever seen. It tries to use the presently-in vogue formula of smart bad guy getting the gold. The plot is very twisty turny. It goes like this...

Three guys and a girl are out stealing banks using extreme sports talents. Action is okay, but after seeing movies like XXX, too much action has become somewhat boring. (A case of "If I see another idiot jumping over a two deck bus..."). Somehow they get into trouble with the police (gee, how is that possible?), a guy who stands in shadows and tortures them by keeping them in a really cold room, another guy who seems to be a cross between Elvis and a preacher (Horrors!).

I seriously don't know what Natasha Henstridge is for, oh wait.. I do. Those semi nude scenes. Even the love scenes suck cuz there is absolutely no chemistry.

The dialogues are cliched, the plot is cliched, the characters are cliched and the ending is cliched.

I loved Ocean's Eleven, but a hazard of its success seems to be the proliferation of crappy heist flicks that suck big time.

I used to really like Stephen Dorf, and thought he was doing weird but interesting movies. Then he did this one, and I don't think I'll ever be able to see that Aerosmith video again without grimacing.

Stay away from this one if you can't take boredom very well.

Overall rating 1/2

In order to enjoy STEAL (As it's known in the UK ) there's several things you must do

1 ) Switch off your brain

2 ) Develop an interest in extreme sports

3 ) Be aged between twelve and seventeen

I have a problem with all of the above especially the third one which meant I couldn't enjoy this movie and I'm sure anyone not in the aforementioned age bracket will have a problem with this movie which can be best described as " MTV Xtreme Sports Meets THE A-TEAM "

Everything about this movie is geared towards the cool visuals which means the editing and cinematography and stunts are excellent to the detriment of everything else , it's almost like a recruiting advert for bank robbery done in a comic book manner with no characterisation , minimalist dialogue and some atrocious acting

The cast ? OMG the cast . You know when you watch a Hollywood movie and it's the Brits who give the best performances ? Well here it's the other way round with Bruce Payne and Steven Berkoff heads and shoulders below everybody else . Berkoff especially is stand out in his awfulness and considering the poor performances all round he should be ashamed of himself , it's amazing this guy is still allowed an Equity card

The whole screenplay is written around the spectacular set pieces and to be fair the editing and cinematography do make them spectacular but there's too much gaps in logic involved which makes an unlikely story even more dumb . Without giving too much away one heist involves a freelancer getting very naughty which means the team ( Who are portrayed as being self righteously opposed to killing ) leave this guy to his fate by escaping but they do so in a ridiculous manner which meant if the goon had behaved himself they would still have left him via this method . What sort of morality is this ? Did the writers think no one would have noticed ?

Not really worth your time watching except for the stunts or unless you're addicted to the MTV channels

A group of four young and daring thieves leaded by Slim (Stephen Dorff) commit heist against a bank and an armored truck without any shooting. Their problems begin when they steal some possessions that belonged to a bad guy and they are blackmailed by the dangerous bandit and by the dirty Lt. Macgruder (Bruce Payne). Karen (Natasha Henstridge) is a detective who has just been transferred to the jurisdiction and command of Lt. Macgruder and has an affair with Slim. After many plot points, the conclusion of this amoral story is very reasonable. This flick is almost a good action movie. There are many good elements, such as the action scenes themselves, the soundtrack (on DTS, it is great!), the beauty of Natasha Henstridge, who looks like wine and some funny situations. However, Bruce Payne is horrible and ridiculous as usual, the character of Steven Berkoff is boring and not funny, and the story, full of clichés, has many flaws. The `actress' who performs a policewoman in the scene on the bridge is showed a couple of minutes on the screen and has an amazingly bad short performance. Further, Natasha Henstridge is `too much sand for the truck' of Stephen Dorff, isn't she? This 1.78 m very good-looking and perfect body Canadian woman does not fit well with this 1.77 m evil face actor in a romantic couple. Anyway, a watchable and forgettable entertainment especially on DVD, recommended for killing time. My vote is six.

Title (Brazil): `Steal – Fuga Alucinada' (`Steal – Crazy Getaway')

A gang of four thieves rob a bank and use roller blades to escape from the cops. This is the first of several daring robberies they have planned – the second involving an armoured car and an underwater escape. When they pull that off they find that, not only do they get the cash they wanted but they have also stolen millions worth of bonds. Things look good for everyone as they know they will at least be able to get half their value through a shifty broker; meanwhile though they not only have to cope with the cops but also some other groups that want the gang for other reasons.

When this film started I immediately thought of a French short film called Argent Content which was a substanceless but enjoyable short about a bank robbery followed by a cool roller skate escape. That short was style over substance but the short running time saved it. However Riders moved past this copy and started to just lift lots of stuff from other films – Heat, Sneakers etc, all the genre clichés are forced into the movie but sadly nobody took the time to structure them into a worthwhile film that made any sense. So many things are thrown at the screen but they make no sense nor do they hang together. So we have stunts for the sake of stunts, characters that lack any motivation, a Heat-style relationship that appears as quickly as it disappears and a plot that is just all over the place. It isn't awful but it is just so inane you wonder how on earth anyone ever though it was a good idea.

The cast seem promising on paper but on film they are mostly confused and poor. Dorff is sexy and has good presence but he cannot make anything of his confused character – but he does look sexy nonetheless. Henstridge is also sexy but other than that you have to wonder how long she worked on the movie – all the rest of her scenes could have been done in a few days before getting sweaty with Dorff. The idea that their characters would have somehow had a Pacino/De Niro relationship is just laughable. Speaking of laughable, Bruce Payne is in this film and is terrible. However at least he is in the movie, which cannot be 100% said for Steven Berkoff who just appears to be in his entirely own, twisted little film. Bennett, Cliché and McCarthy are all reasonable in support but neither they nor anyone else can do anything with this shambles of a film.

The crazy style of Taxi might have worked once but Pires' attempts to do it again here just fall flat and it just falls flat on its face from the very start. Pointless and inane and will please only the very, very undemanding genre fan.

Not the worst movie I've ever seen, but it might be the first one that I think is both too short and too long at the same time. These four robbery specialists manage to rob like four banks in ten days with minimal planning and the most impeccable timing in the history of the bank heist genre. At the same time, there is no back story on anyone (which in all honesty makes getting plot twists in a little easier), characters appear seemingly out of nowhere and then disappear again, plans are rewritten by the leader of the gang without informing anyone, and rules for the heists are broken pretty much as soon as they are stated.

I dunno, you'd probably do better picking something else to watch.