Invitation to Hell

This odd short tells the story of a young virgin who is invited to spend time with her friends at a remote farmhouse in the English countryside. It soon becomes clear that someone - or something! - has demonic plans for her. Add into the mix a desperate race against time before a dark force is resurrected, a possessed handyman, and a heavy homoerotic subtext, and you have a very weird movie indeed. Thanks to the miniscule (and very obviously amateur) cast, and lingering shots of the countryside, the film possesses an eerie, empty quality that is reminiscent of such 70's British classics as The Living Dead at the Manchester Morgue, Vampyres and Frightmare. However, there's also a dose of giallo-type gore, and a bizarre ending that could belong in an Argento movie. Invitation to Hell is an obscure film that was released in the early 80's on video. It's long-since been deleted (I picked up my second- or third-hand copy from eBay), but if you're an afficionado of British horror, or in search of something a bit different, this is worth seeking out.

Laura invites her college friend Jacky out to her country estate for a costume party.What Jacky does not know is that she is a pawn in a demonic game.That evening she is drugged and taken out to what appears to be a black magic altar.The next morning she awakens with claw-like scratches on her legs and,when she tries to escape,finds she is trapped in this location.But why are her friends keeping her here and who do they truly serve?Pretty boring and drawn-out horror flick which lasts only 50 minutes or so.There are some wonderfully odd and surreal moments plus some nasty gore on display.The acting is very bad,but if you are into micro-budget horror cinema give this one a swirl.5 satanic farms out of 10.

Maybe I'm just mad I spent five dollars on this instead of one dollar, but this film really displeased me. It's semi-known for it's gore and perhaps 'banned' status. I could not make out many of the details because the tape quality (Videoline Productions) was extremely poor, but the gore I saw was not exceptional. There were lots of guests over when I was watching this video and I was kind of embarrassed to be caught viewing some of the film's more boring moments. When there is no action on screen, the combination of bad acting, bad dialogue, and an uncompelling story make this movie a waste of time.

This is one of those no-budget movies that may have been sort of cool back I the day because less people were doing them due to not having access to the equipment to pull off such a production. Thanks to improvements in technology and reduction in costs, a growing number of no-talents make boring movies like this for why, exactly? Because they can, I assume. No action, lame gore, horrible dialogue and acting, and only glimpse of nudity makes this thing a chore to watch. There's a certain charm to old movies like this and I usually give them a bit of a pass just for nostalgia's sake, but I can't think of anything nice to say about this one--it's pretty much the bottom of the barrel.

And then there's the sound quality issues. Considering the rarity of this film, if you are unfortunate enough to run across it, odds are it will be that bootleg that went into distribution a few years ago and the sound will be unlistenable and almost unintelligible in parts, just completely blown out. How to describe it? Imagine running the audio from your VCR into a cheap stereo, then running the output into a tape deck with the recording level up to 10, then running the output from the tape deck into a cheap guitar practice amp, sitting at the end of a 30' long by 2' wide drainage pipe with a microphone on the other end of it, the audio recorded from that microphone being used as the audio for this film. It's that bad.

Greetings And Salutations, and welcome to my review of Invitation To Hell; before launching into my critique, here's a breakdown of my ratings:

Story - 0.75 Direction - 0.50 Pace - 0.50 Acting - 0.75 Enjoyment - 1.00

TOTAL - 3.50 out of 10

One of the foremost drawbacks of the eighties for movie watchers was the video camera. Video players were an outstanding and life-changing invention - for once, instead of going to the movies, you could go to friends or stay home and watch a film. But any numpty with a camera could shoot a motion picture and find somebody to fund distribution. And that is what appears to have happened with Invitation To Hell.

The synopsis of the story is rather substantial. Sadly the writer wasn't skilled enough to build the outline into a fully-fledged tale of horror. There needed to be more details and believable characters. For example, a scene where the two old friends meet and one invites the other to a party would have anchored the evil twist in the invite's tail better than having the woman just turn up. More background on the evil inhabiting the farm would also pull the audience in more. There's not enough meat on the story's bones to make it fulfilling.

Lamentably, the writer also directed the picture, and his skills are as weak as the scripting. Blissfully, however, he does keep all the scenes well lit. There is even one impressive special effects sequence. The demon knifes one of the farmworkers to a bedroom wall, crucifix style, then pulls the heart from their chest. It's not the best FX, but for this low a budget, it's bloody magnificent. Regretfully, the rest of the camera work is well below par. There are scenes where people talk, but their mouths are closed tight. But worst of all is the meandering pace. The film only lasts three-quarters of an hour, but it feels much, much, much longer.

Ah, now we get to the acting, and it's as bad as the writing and direction. A good cast could have made this drivel watchable. The cast is so wooden in their delivery, that I could have gone outside and watched the trees in the garden and gotten a better performance.

So with a sad heart, I suggest you all miss this picture and do something more interesting with your lives: Like training a snail to race. Invitation To Hell can't even be called a B-Movie, it is that horrendous - there aren't even any unintentionally funny moments. I took the bullet on this one so you don't have to.

Please feel free to visit my Absolute Horror lists to see where I ranked Invitation To Hell - and to find a more enjoyable viewing experience.

Take Care & Stay Well.