Cold Fish

I had the unfortune to see one of the incarnations of this film (I hear there are many). From start to finish it is bad. The story has been done a million times and a million times better. The main characters are awful. I didn't really care too much for the lead. I wanted him to be caught, plus he was too old for the part. The villians where so hammy. I don't know where Naida's accent came from. The land of "I'll make it up as I go along". Was there a director on set? I think not! And to add to all this the film is overlit (well in the version I saw it was). They was an UFO (eg. Massive Bright Light) just landed in a dark country lane, a building which had it's own shadow in the sky, and a man working a computer monitor, who should of been wearing a wielder's mask. I imgaine that this film will be expelled to straight to video hell. But learn from my mistake and avoid when possible.

When I watched Cold Fish, I had heard rumors that when it was first screened people walked out, not because it was bad, but because it was very disturbing. I recently watched this film, and from the opening scene, I knew I would have to have a stomach to digest this film and its images. What made this so? Well, It wasn't the violence or depiction of drug use relative to the story or it's commentary on what is acceptable to the public from media. It was the use of actual video footage of hangings, shootings, terrorist activity and pure murder that shocked me. Although, the use of these images is attached to the characters, The Henleys, who use them to gain acclaim in the Art world, it's the psychological terror that two people can inflict into destroying somebodies life that makes this film an attention grabber. Violent, disturbing but extremely enjoyable!

There are bad movies, then there are truly bad movies. Then there is a lower level of cinematic excrement to which Cold Fish belongs. This pitiful excuse of a film is primarily let down by the actors. The lead played by Jon-Paul Gates (no - I have never heard of him either!) has the charisma and screen presence of a house brick. His dismal wooden acting is not the only thing to make you squirm in this film - wait till you have to endure the 'baddies'! Two more names we've never heard of (I can't imagine why) Conrad Asquith and Nadia Straham play a couple of performance artists who like to shock their audience by showing footage of executions. This in turn gave the director of Cold Fish the excuse to show us the self-same footage. This was cheap and exploitative. I don't think it's the place of popular cinema to use real newsreel footage of executions to titillate the audience. But back to Nadia Straham, who obviously based her performance on the "Rocky Horror Show" as she clearly was from Transylvania, if her accent was anything to go by. This is for British audiences only - but if I tell you that this film also stars Christopher Biggins - and he gives an almost academy award winning performance compared to the leads in this film - then I think you will start to comprehend that this is a complete waste of 91 minutes of your life. There is a reviewer on this page who has given 3 glowing reviews of this film. I can only imagine that he has invested in the film or is related to one of the actors. British cinema is capable of outstanding work - sadly this sorry fare makes the UK a laughing stock.

"Cold Fish" is a low-budget made for video/TV thriller that delivers with an interesting story about some underground video artists who exhibit people being killed at stuffy cocktail parties. A young "wannabe" reporter has to penetrate and expose the ring. The concept is kind of out there but it was an enjoyable film if you like B genre thrillers where villains are unmistakably villains. Potential cult favorite!

A movie with excellent production value and strong performances, especially from the lead actor. I must say that while this is no Hollywood Blockbuster, it is one of those rare British films that looks like it could have been made in the States.