Groom Lake

It is sad to see a potentially nice subject (dying girl tries to find alien life before she dies) wasted like this. The characters are wooden, there is hardly any logic in their actions. But there is a lot more in this film to complain about. The special effects could be charming as they are disarmingly clumsy and unconvincing, but they fail to be. The lighting and editing reminds one of the bold and the beautiful. The acting is terrible. No memorable one-liners whatsoever. In short, there are no redeeming qualities. William Shatner even succeeded in miscasting himself. Only a tiny amount of irony or self-parody would have made the film at least bearable, but unfortunately it all seems to be meant seriously. Avoid.

The ultimate culmination of accidentally revealing too much about yourself, Groom Lake is William Shatner outdoing Neil Breen at Breen's own game. It's a film that has made me fully re-evaluate my life, unlike most of Breen's filmography, stuff happens, people react and Shatner directs with such glorious low-budget sleaze it just might make people forgive him for Star Trek V. Honestly, seeing William Shatner dressed as an alien spaceman reciting poetry to a glowing blue man is an easy sell and about the least crazy thing that happens in this film.

There's also a moment near the very beginning where a character is revealed to have Lupis and I fully expected Dr House to show up for a split second...

This was some of the worst ever to be made for entertainment...

It was so bad, that I watched the whole movie on fast forward...

I know why watch the movie, if it was so bad, well I spend money renting this "thing", so better get my money's worth, and well I still feel cheated...

You know you have to wonder what's going on with Bill Shatner. He's a talented actor with a beautiful speaking voice, capable of superior performances.

But some of the stuff he is involved in makes you want to shake your head. And this stuff isn't off-the-wall good. It's off-the-wall poor. Poorly made, poorly paced, poorly edited, poorly written, etc. It's as if he is someone who is not quite in touch with himself; and it shows in the projects and people with which he gets associated.

And now we have 'Groom Lake'. It wouldn't make you winch so hard, if it hadn't also been written and directed by Shatner. The logicalness and continuity is uncomfortably close to what you'd expect from an Ed Wood-level production.

Here's this bonehead boyfriend risking life and limb roaring up a treacherous hillside with his dying girlfriend, all the time assuring her that it'll be all right. Well, it's not all right, Mr. Genius. Their vehicle overturns and rolls completely down the hill. And this is only one part of a heavily fragmented, unsupported story line. The negative comments could go on.

For the record this viewer would like to be a full-time fan of Shatner. But, Bill, somehow you just aren't getting the job done. You are capable of a much more brilliant body of work.

I love Bill Shatner. I have seen most anything he's done, and even went to Ssplat attack II to see him. Still, he shouldn't just take any damn movie. I mean, there is that stupid chef show, now this, this horrible, horrible movie. You may think 'how bad can it be?'. Well, I was dehydrated for two days from spitting on the DVD and cursing Bill Shatner's name.