Children of the Living Dead

From Children of the Living Dead, I have obtained more hours of enjoyment than watching any other movie. I can watch this film numerous times, laugh at how hilariously bad it is and still find something new each time. For instance, when we get a brief glimpse inside the construction site building, why is there gang graffiti on the walls? Or, if you watch the very beginning when Savini and the sheriff are walking towards the house, you can see something from the sheriff's belt make a big shine reflection on the house. Thank you, John Russo and all your cronies for pumping out good quality garbage like this. The bad dubbing, the horrible acting, the horrible script....Oh, and that brings up the end credits. I love how in the end credits, that there is a separate credit for "Abbott Hayes is an original character by" and then they give the screen writer's name. I guess the writer was afraid that people would think that someone else came up with the idea of the great zombie villain Abbott Hayes, or maybe they were afraid that someone would rip him off and that he would become as big as Jason or Freddy Kreugar. Oh, a fun drinking game to play is to take a drink for every time you see someone with the last name "Hinzman" in the end credits. You'll die of alcohol poisoning by the time they stop rolling.

I ONLY watched this movie because I have always liked Tom Savini and wanted to see what he was up to. He was OK in his previous cheesy acting roles, like Dusk till Dawn and some Romero films like DOTD and Martin. Obviously his talent lies in special FX and not in acting, but I give the guy a little credit for acting too, just because he's Tom Savini. But why Tom... why?!?!?! I am shocked that he would have been associated with a movie as bad as this... I can't imagine it was for the money. Anyway, this movie is rubbish and I don't know what Tom was thinking when he signed on. I will never get that hour and a half of my life back.

Wow...

I think cinema has found the new Ed Wood...and his name is John Russo. I rented this one just for sh*ts and giggles, mainly because I wanted to see a feature done by the folks who rape-...er...filmed the hilarious "Reverend Big Teeth" sequences for the "Night of the Living Dead: 30th Anniversary."

It's times like this that I mourn the passing of "Mystery Science Theater 3000," because this one would have been a top-rate contender. It actually boggles the mind how something THIS BAD could come out of ANYONE...even a total-hack like Russo.

If you're a cinema-masochist like me and enjoy getting belly rolls from horrible films, you really can't do any better than this. Abbott Hayes, the main baddie, is the funniest zombie you'll ever see. He looks like he's grooving to 70's funk music when he hunts down his victims. In fact, the "van-going-over-the-cliff" scene towards the beginning is the most unintentionally funny thing I've ever seen in a film...PERIOD.

Go rent it and give Russo the money so he and his team of fools can make more of these! As far as I'm concerned, they can stay in their delusional world and pump out as much of this horsesh*t as they want...I'll keep paying money to see the freak show!

I wouldn't necessarily call myself an expert, but I like zombie films. A lot. I watch any and all zombie films I can get my hands on. This is the first time I've ever thought "What the heck did I just waste an hour and a half watching?" I've even suffered through Shatter Dead and Bruno Mattei's Hell of the Living Dead and didn't think that.

The sound is atrocious...who in the world thought that looping almost the entire movie was a good idea? How did they afford to have Savini back to ADR ALL of his lines?! Was the make-up artist a student of his?! Geez...at least Savini looks better in this than he did in From Dusk Til Dawn. When I saw that, I started to fear for his life...

Handheld is fine and dandy...but why not spend the money for the "explosions" on SteadyCam rental? Or use a dolly more (wheelchair and a tripod, baby...read Stanley Kubrick's biography (the beige one) and Robert Rodriguez's Rebel Without a Crew!)?

The direction was...not so bad. Tor Ramsey has potential. Hopefully, his next movies will be better.

The script. Don't even get me started. I was intrigued to see that a woman wrote it...but it sucked. The dialogue was stilted and sounded like this was the first draft, the exposition was too bloody long and repeated too much, and that first scene needed to be cut a little. I began to wonder if Ms. Wolf had ever watched any horror films, much less any zombie movies.

Go watch Bio-Zombie...Lucio Fulci's The Beyond...Return of the Living Dead...geez, watch that Mattei crap, but just do yourself a favour and DON'T WATCH THIS.

This film is the most hideous thing you can imagine. To give you an example of how bad this is, one of the reasons given why the dead are coming back to life is that the zombie king (?) was forced to cross dress as a child.

Yes, forget radiation, disease or nanotech, this time it's transvestitism that brings the dead out of their graves.

There is a scene where a car goes over a cliff. The FX brings to mind that old TV show where marionettes pilot a spaceship. The actors (?) say their line "No ahhh" while they die. This scene pretty well sums up the film.

This is a horrible, horrible film. There are not enough bad adjectives to describe it. You should see it simply because it is so horrible.