Children of the Living Dead

Wow...

I think cinema has found the new Ed Wood...and his name is John Russo. I rented this one just for sh*ts and giggles, mainly because I wanted to see a feature done by the folks who rape-...er...filmed the hilarious "Reverend Big Teeth" sequences for the "Night of the Living Dead: 30th Anniversary."

It's times like this that I mourn the passing of "Mystery Science Theater 3000," because this one would have been a top-rate contender. It actually boggles the mind how something THIS BAD could come out of ANYONE...even a total-hack like Russo.

If you're a cinema-masochist like me and enjoy getting belly rolls from horrible films, you really can't do any better than this. Abbott Hayes, the main baddie, is the funniest zombie you'll ever see. He looks like he's grooving to 70's funk music when he hunts down his victims. In fact, the "van-going-over-the-cliff" scene towards the beginning is the most unintentionally funny thing I've ever seen in a film...PERIOD.

Go rent it and give Russo the money so he and his team of fools can make more of these! As far as I'm concerned, they can stay in their delusional world and pump out as much of this horsesh*t as they want...I'll keep paying money to see the freak show!

I wouldn't necessarily call myself an expert, but I like zombie films. A lot. I watch any and all zombie films I can get my hands on. This is the first time I've ever thought "What the heck did I just waste an hour and a half watching?" I've even suffered through Shatter Dead and Bruno Mattei's Hell of the Living Dead and didn't think that.

The sound is atrocious...who in the world thought that looping almost the entire movie was a good idea? How did they afford to have Savini back to ADR ALL of his lines?! Was the make-up artist a student of his?! Geez...at least Savini looks better in this than he did in From Dusk Til Dawn. When I saw that, I started to fear for his life...

Handheld is fine and dandy...but why not spend the money for the "explosions" on SteadyCam rental? Or use a dolly more (wheelchair and a tripod, baby...read Stanley Kubrick's biography (the beige one) and Robert Rodriguez's Rebel Without a Crew!)?

The direction was...not so bad. Tor Ramsey has potential. Hopefully, his next movies will be better.

The script. Don't even get me started. I was intrigued to see that a woman wrote it...but it sucked. The dialogue was stilted and sounded like this was the first draft, the exposition was too bloody long and repeated too much, and that first scene needed to be cut a little. I began to wonder if Ms. Wolf had ever watched any horror films, much less any zombie movies.

Go watch Bio-Zombie...Lucio Fulci's The Beyond...Return of the Living Dead...geez, watch that Mattei crap, but just do yourself a favour and DON'T WATCH THIS.

Approx 1 year ago, I rented this film......Why you ask? Because it was a zombie film, Plain and simple. When the DVD arrived in the Mailbox....(Quick Netflix Plugin)I went inside inserted the DVD grabbed some Micro Popcorn a beer and nestled in on the couch hoping to at least catch a Decent Low budget Horror/Zombie Film. What Did I get? NOTHING but an upset stomach.

Some say this film is BAD, I believe BAD is too good a word for this piece of $#!^. I read a comment on the net someone made about this film, The director responded back.... agreeing with the reviewers assessment of the film. There are many reasons this film failed, The Director noted every single one of them, and he hit it right on the nose.

If you are looking for just a simple zombie film.....RENT SOMETHING ELSE.

If your looking for an ED WOOD type film..... RENT AN ED WOOD FILM.

If your looking for a bad film...... RENT SOMETHING ELSE

Until a term can come up to describe this film..... Just keep walking by it. This is not something to add to your DVD collection just for completist reasons.

They say let's Recycle...... Well gather up every copy and let's start there.

I was even IN this movie (as an uncredited extra) and I knew at the time it was going to be bad. What I didn't realize was how bad bad could be.

I know one of the cameramen and he knew better how bad it was going to be but after seeing the stunning editing job they did, he too was amazed at the appalling disjointed quality of this film. I hesitate to use the word 'film' even. And don't use the word 'professionalism' either, as jelly was spilt on at least one roll of film and things had to be reshot. Why did they bother?

A good doorstop, fireplace kindling, target-practice fodder...perhaps, but a watchable movie...NO! Straight out of a high-school filmmaking class at best, this amateurish junk made me want to sue the director & writer for the 50 cents I wasted renting it. Read the worst review here and call it an understatement....Beware of this one.