The Bride of Frank

An homage to the workingman disguised as an exercise in sickness and depravity. Filled with biting humor and priceless genuine characters. I've seen my share of no budget gross out flicks and they all sucked. Bride of Frank is proof that a talented person can produce something riveting with a camcorder, a few locations, and a troupe of 'common people'. Although technically very rough (shot on video) the movie is more creatively photographed than a lot of other higher-budgeted fare. There are other flaws, but not worth mentioning. This is a must-see.

Reading other more positive comments you could be forgiven for thinking this trash is comparable with John Waters movies, let me assure other Waters fans who may be persuaded to watch this...It's Not. The only comparison between this and Waters movies is that's its marginally twisted. Thats it. If that was all it took to make a good movie then everyone would be doing it, Waters has a visual style and a wicked sense of humour. The makers of Bride of Frank have no style whatsoever, they seem to have mistaken an old inarticulate person as a source of comedy. Guess what, Frank swears a lot, he's old thats pretty much the whole humour section of the movie. As for the "shocking" murders, I swear I nearly fell asleep, this is so ridiculously bad you can't even be shocked by such things, I'm guessing the blood squirting excessively from severed heads is supposed to be funny, it can be if done right, sadly nothing is done right in this film.

In 1972, John Waters made "Pink Flamingos". He was a child of rich parents embracing the lower class. In 1996, Mr. Ballot created "The Bride of Frank", a film I see as the "Pink Flamingos" actually made by the lower class. And I don't mean that in a bad way in the least. Mr. Ballot and his associates have created a shot-on-video film definitely worth a look. Frank is an elderly homeless man hired as a watchman and stock-boy by Mr. Ballot's trucking company. Frank grows tired of his lonely, mundane life and seeks a wife through an ad in the paper. Hilarity and mindless violence ensue. His momma taught him at an early age "It's all right [to kill people] if you warn them first!" And that's exactly what he does! One of the most notable scenes involves Frank warning "the Nerd": "I'll cut off your head and [poop] down your neck!" And you can guess what happened! Some scenes border on porno, but you learn in the behind-the-scenes footage it was all done with the help of prosthetics. Most notable stand-out in the cast is Chick Carter, who played 3 roles: "the Nerd", a transvestite, and "Bob". Bob is hideously deformed in a rather unconvincing makeup job, and is the master of over-acting. You get the feeling that all the people are really just playing themselves, which was part of the appeal of "Pink Flamingos". I'm not putting this on-par with "Pink Flamingos" but it will definitely cross your mind upon viewing. See it NOW!

The plot is at the kindergarten level. It's just a crazy man killing people in gory methods, often doing obscene things with the corpses. His "friends" help him along the way and participating in one murder during his birthday party, of which some of his presents include an inflatable sheep!! The atmosphere is really bad. It mostly takes place in a New Jersey trucking warehouse, in and around trucks, and in the company's office building where Frank lives. If anything, there's a lack of atmosphere! It just plods along without any connection between scenes. It's just a set of scenes smashed together.

None of the cast is worth mentioning but I'll mention one, the main "cast member", as none can act in the slightest. Frank O'Brien plays...*Drum Roll* Frank!! His character is an exaggeration of his real life.

For the movie, Frank is an excessively slow and old man who was once homeless and an alcoholic. Now he does menial tasks with a trucking company.

True story is that Frank O'Brien found his wife in bed with their priest and, feeling so bad, he became homeless and alcoholic. He's now old and suffering from some type of senility and dementia. He has dentures but that does NOT account for his speech impediment. His words are so unintelligible that his words are subtitled in yellow -- only his! Aside from this, I feel sad for Frank O'Brien because it seems as if he, and his slowness, are just being used and exploited for the amusement of the crew and the viewers. But mostly I found it just sad.

The only Cast member of "some" fame is Tasim Atkinson who plays The Tease, one of Frank's personal ad women and victims. In real life, she's a "big woman" exotic dancer. She appeared on The Howard Stern Show a few times and promoted the movie -- probably the only reason that this movie was sold anywhere.

Directed and written by Steve Ballot as Escalp Don Bladé. He's obviously an amateur. His writing is terrible and without direction. He used a ridiculous pseudo name which, in itself, is amateurish.

The cinematography is terrible, like the rest of this masterpiece. It's obvious that it's shot with camcorders and edited with VCRs and other low-tech equipment. The picture is faded and the hues are awful.

The SFX, ugh!! Basically, it has a lot of fake blood, fake wounds, ripped out eyes, and several fake penises -- yes, penises!! The sound is like through a tunnel. The music is sparse. The best song is by a band called the Young and Fabulous but even that isn't great.

This is, without a doubt, THE WORST MOVIE I'VE EVER SEEN! The story is ridiculous, the cinematography is awful, terrible effects, terrible sound, I can NOT understand Frank's speech which is exploited and hurtful. The title is irrelevant unless you watch the deleted scenes/alternate ending. The festival extra bashes Frank more! Butter sound, state of the art crap! A few jokes are mildly amusing but most are just too vulgar or immature to be funny. I couldn't wait for the DVD to end!!

Don't waste your time on this crap which makes Troma look like Broadway!! There's tons of extras for such a crappy movie.

Years ago, prior to its release on DVD, I spent months trying to track down this film. Finally, a friend mailed me a dub of this low-budget film. I watched it and couldn't believe it didn't have a distributer. Thankfully, times have moved on.

The film itself is very low budget. It's like cut-price Troma (crossed with early John Waters) and would appeal to the same audience. Originally, videos were available from the director's own site at a reasonable price. I'd also been informed that the film was recently "filmlooked" to remove signs of its video origins. The version I viewed was, however, a copy of the original release.

The film tells the tale of Frank, an ageing warehouse worker who lives in an office with his cats and desperately seeks female company. Frank was taught at an early age that it's okay to kill people for being annoying as long as you give them warnings first. Thus, there's quite a high body count in the movie including some very bloody (but fake looking) deaths.

The film uses some real characters to add authenticity to the proceedings and so some of the acting is less than an Oscar winning standard (Chick Carter has to be seen to be believed!).

Some of the film borders on adult territory (there's use of some prosthetics that you wouldn't see in mainstream releases) but it's good, dirty fun (if you aren't shocked easily).

Part horror, part comedy...this is worth tracking down if you like your horror cheap and cheerful.

I for one think "The Bride of Frank" deserves its new-found life on DVD. It's a party movie (like "Story of Ricky") and like it or hate it, you won't easily forget it......