Private Arrangement

The sex scenes are shot MOS, but the audience has to sit through endlessly tedious and talky wraparound footage to make it to the end of a desultory cruise in PRIVATE ARRANGEMENT.

Lynn Lori stars as Gloria, reading her turgid dialog off of cue cards as Lt. Boris Burke (porn stalwart Roger Gentry) grills her endlessly about a murder case. He wears dark glasses, making it easier for him to look downward and read his own cue cards.

Premise is that four working girls (secretaries, not hookers) take a weekend "Playpen" cruise on a charter boat, whose skipper procures men for them. It's tame, repetitive softcore sex, with the guys getting naked for sunbathing scenes above deck, but keeping covered for the humping. I suspect 1970 audiences expected stronger stuff.

Lori is a pretty actress, sort of a poor man's Sandy Carey, and of course the fans will watch this just to see Uschi Digard throw her bazooms around for the umpteenth time.

To create a modicum of plot, Gus Bianca appears as a hunchback with cheap makeup and a creepy do-rag type of head covering. He gets sent to a mental institution at film's end, probably to join erstwhile filmmaker Wes Ransome there.

Gentry finishes the film with a very stupid lecture, but in typical SWV fashion, the final frames of the print are shredded. Had this entire surviving print been shredded instead, there would be no loss.