Backyard Dogs

Ewwwwwwwwwwww!! I just got finished watching this movie, and I am about to run to Blockbuster and demand my $6 back for this thing!

When I rented the movie, I did so under the falsehood that it may have real footage of backyard wrestling for more than the opening credits (plus a few good shots of FMW near the end). I was even more excited when the heavy metal riffs came on for the movie's theme song, thinking I was in for 2 hours of blood, gore and mayhem. INSTEAD, what I (and hopefully never you will) end up with is a former Power Ranger and a "sissy boy" form a "tag team" for 96 minutes of pure action - purely boring.

My main problem with the movie was that for something that is supposed to be as unpredictable and violent as backyard wrestling, it was in fact more scripted and carefully prepared than a David Arquette match. It is a sport enjoyed by youths, some as young as 7 or 8, something this movie doesn't show us (dear God we might offend someone or something). As for violence, aside from the one moment involving barbed wire in whence someone actually bleeds (and then the blood mysteriously disappears in the next scene a la David Copperfield), the film is more tame and gentile than anything done on WWF TV, now or yesteryear. "Oh no, body slam on a bed matress, the humanity of it!" Where are the light bulbs, the cheese graters, the rakes, the bags of nails, and the twisting double moonsaults off of garages? Not here, because that might just make backyard wrestling look like the horrible menace that it is, and we wouldn't want that, would we? Instead we see hundreds upon hundreds of punches, kicks, and elbow drops! Oh, and a headbutt too! I could go on for days and probably write an entire 30 volume set of why I disliked this movie, but I won't - why rob you of the joy of seeing this garbage?

Overall, the film was lame, boring, had incredible plot holes, had an incredibly lame love scene (knocks down door, pushes woman on bed and says after a few weeks of knowing her says "I love you," completely out of nowhere! Ugh, my girlfriend is laughing hysterically at the corniness of it all!!) and if anything made the world of backyard wrestling seem acceptable, if not doable to a generation of impressionable youth. If they were getting 50,000 "hits" a day to their website, how come there were still only 10 or 12 people watching each match? Even the "big one" was only attended by 30 rich white men.

On a side note, I'm sure other fans of Mick Foley were as p****d as I when they heard that according to the Power Ranger that "Mick Foley got his start by jumping off a roof through a bunch of tables, right into the WWF." True, if you forget his years in the Indies, ECW and WCW before coming to the WWF. Good to see someone read the first three pages of "Have A Nice Day."

I swear I will never watch this movie again, and except for comedic value or to spite those I do not like, tell another soul to do the same. If you want to watch a wrestling video that shows the true sense of the business, albeit a little outdated, go rent "Beyond The Mat," at least it doesn't try to BS you like Backyard Dogs does. If anything, Backyard Dogs will teach your brother/son/friends that if you particpate in backyard wrestling (ie. destroying, mutilating, disfiguring the crap out of other children) that big things will happen in life and that they will be huge in the wrestling business. The makers of this film ought to be ashamed for teaching such a horrible lesson to children.

I just saw this movie a week or so ago and I must admit that I am a changed man because of it. I have been struggling to be a nudist painter for the last eight years, and I was beginning to lose hope. After seeing this breath-taking film, I have recaptured that passion by which by which my original dream was guided. I thank the makers of this film for what they have done in my life.

I'd heard about this movie, but never had any intention of watching it. Then one day, I'm at the video store, browsing through the no art DVDs, and there it is, shining with it's $1.49 price tag, screaming "I suck, buy me!" I figure "What the hell." I'm a huge wrestling fan, it can't be that bad right? So I get home, put the disc in and lay down to watch the movie. Less than three minutes later I realize there's no way in hell I can watch this thing alone, this coming from a man who has sat through practically every blaxploitation film ever made.

Somehow I managed to convince my friends that we should spend our Saturday night watching a poorly made, straight to video movie about backyard wrestling, instead of going out and having fun like normal people. It was a decision we would all come to regret.

This movie is bad. And I mean BAD. Backyard Dogs is so awful I had to consult a thesaurus in order to properly describe it. This movie is abominable, atrocious, fallacious, sinful, and horrendous. I don't know how anyone involved in this "film" can live with themselves. They deserve to be shunned by society, and live out the rest of their lives in shame. I've seen better movies at work on safety training.

Backyard Dogs is so bad I think it might just qualify as obscenity.

Rating: 0 out of 100 Billion

What a horrible, awful movie. I saw it at Blockbuster and thought 'Wow, a movie about backyard wrestling! Excellent!' And it went downhill from there. Words alone can't describe my disappointment. How appropriate that it stars a Power Ranger, because it makes it feel even more like an episode gone awry. I just don't understand....the guys who do this for real do more painful-looking stuff than in this movie. Why couldn't the actors/stuntmen at least make SOME of the offense look somewhat dangerous? I won't even get into the awful love triangle, because it's not even worth talking about. Save the only film appearance by Hayabusa that I'm aware of, this movie is a complete throwaway. Not even worth a rental. If you get it offered to you for free, ask if you can have something else instead. >

I had found out about this movie from a good friend of mine because his uncle (Robert Boris) was the writer and director of this train wreck of a movie. He said it was bad and it even temped me more to go and see it. He was so right.

I would not know were to begin to say were this movie gone wrong. Maybe one of the major problems is the fact it was made only to cash in on the big wrestling fad in the late 90's. Lets be honest nobody going to see this movie was exspecting a large charector driven movie. Nevertheless, some how it was way below the horrible expectations I had already had for this movie. Everything was worse than I could have imagined. The acting, the story, and most of all the camera work were some of the worst I've ever seen!

At all, coast stay away from this movie unless you want a cheap little laugh at how bad it is. I feel sorry for my friend's relatives who had put money into this movie! If you could call it that!