Backyard Dogs

I would give this movie a 1 every day of the week, but I believe that Manos, the Hands of Fate deserves to be undisputed as #1 on the worst movie ever list. Therefore, I gave it a 2, only because its not as bad as Manos. Don't get me wrong, this movie is absolutely terrible, but I would not wish Manos on my worst enemy.

Ewwwwwwwwwwww!! I just got finished watching this movie, and I am about to run to Blockbuster and demand my $6 back for this thing!

When I rented the movie, I did so under the falsehood that it may have real footage of backyard wrestling for more than the opening credits (plus a few good shots of FMW near the end). I was even more excited when the heavy metal riffs came on for the movie's theme song, thinking I was in for 2 hours of blood, gore and mayhem. INSTEAD, what I (and hopefully never you will) end up with is a former Power Ranger and a "sissy boy" form a "tag team" for 96 minutes of pure action - purely boring.

My main problem with the movie was that for something that is supposed to be as unpredictable and violent as backyard wrestling, it was in fact more scripted and carefully prepared than a David Arquette match. It is a sport enjoyed by youths, some as young as 7 or 8, something this movie doesn't show us (dear God we might offend someone or something). As for violence, aside from the one moment involving barbed wire in whence someone actually bleeds (and then the blood mysteriously disappears in the next scene a la David Copperfield), the film is more tame and gentile than anything done on WWF TV, now or yesteryear. "Oh no, body slam on a bed matress, the humanity of it!" Where are the light bulbs, the cheese graters, the rakes, the bags of nails, and the twisting double moonsaults off of garages? Not here, because that might just make backyard wrestling look like the horrible menace that it is, and we wouldn't want that, would we? Instead we see hundreds upon hundreds of punches, kicks, and elbow drops! Oh, and a headbutt too! I could go on for days and probably write an entire 30 volume set of why I disliked this movie, but I won't - why rob you of the joy of seeing this garbage?

Overall, the film was lame, boring, had incredible plot holes, had an incredibly lame love scene (knocks down door, pushes woman on bed and says after a few weeks of knowing her says "I love you," completely out of nowhere! Ugh, my girlfriend is laughing hysterically at the corniness of it all!!) and if anything made the world of backyard wrestling seem acceptable, if not doable to a generation of impressionable youth. If they were getting 50,000 "hits" a day to their website, how come there were still only 10 or 12 people watching each match? Even the "big one" was only attended by 30 rich white men.

On a side note, I'm sure other fans of Mick Foley were as p****d as I when they heard that according to the Power Ranger that "Mick Foley got his start by jumping off a roof through a bunch of tables, right into the WWF." True, if you forget his years in the Indies, ECW and WCW before coming to the WWF. Good to see someone read the first three pages of "Have A Nice Day."

I swear I will never watch this movie again, and except for comedic value or to spite those I do not like, tell another soul to do the same. If you want to watch a wrestling video that shows the true sense of the business, albeit a little outdated, go rent "Beyond The Mat," at least it doesn't try to BS you like Backyard Dogs does. If anything, Backyard Dogs will teach your brother/son/friends that if you particpate in backyard wrestling (ie. destroying, mutilating, disfiguring the crap out of other children) that big things will happen in life and that they will be huge in the wrestling business. The makers of this film ought to be ashamed for teaching such a horrible lesson to children.

I remember seeing this when it came out, back in the days of VHS tapes and video stores. It looked horrible, so of course I felt the need to rent it. I was not disappointed, as it was terrible. Terrible in all the right ways, especially the acting. What do you expect when there's a former Power Ranger in one of the lead roles. It was non-stop laughter all the way through. The "wrestling" was bad, even by backyard wrestling standards, which says a lot. I'd love to know how much they had to pay Hayabusa to be in this piece of crap. When I happened to notice it on Amazon last week for $1.99, I decided to revisit the past on DVD. So happy that I bought it, since it was just as I remembered it.

It will make a fine addition to the "so bad it's good" section of my DVD collection.

I just watched this movie to see how it compares to "Manos".... This movie was he scariest movie I've ever seen, it made me slit my wrists, the movie had so many SH*TTY moments that it makes you want to end your life. This movie also made me laugh, I laughed while i was on my couch with my wrists bleeding going "yes the pain will be over soon". I cried when the movie started, I was crying because My eyes were being raped by the scary images that this movie made. I was also crying because this was the only thing on TV, and i couldn't find this remote, and it was edited for TV, if your going to make a movie that is as bad as this, you should not edit it for TV, you should let America see this movie to know how many dumb people actually live in LA

I'd heard about this movie, but never had any intention of watching it. Then one day, I'm at the video store, browsing through the no art DVDs, and there it is, shining with it's $1.49 price tag, screaming "I suck, buy me!" I figure "What the hell." I'm a huge wrestling fan, it can't be that bad right? So I get home, put the disc in and lay down to watch the movie. Less than three minutes later I realize there's no way in hell I can watch this thing alone, this coming from a man who has sat through practically every blaxploitation film ever made.

Somehow I managed to convince my friends that we should spend our Saturday night watching a poorly made, straight to video movie about backyard wrestling, instead of going out and having fun like normal people. It was a decision we would all come to regret.

This movie is bad. And I mean BAD. Backyard Dogs is so awful I had to consult a thesaurus in order to properly describe it. This movie is abominable, atrocious, fallacious, sinful, and horrendous. I don't know how anyone involved in this "film" can live with themselves. They deserve to be shunned by society, and live out the rest of their lives in shame. I've seen better movies at work on safety training.

Backyard Dogs is so bad I think it might just qualify as obscenity.

Rating: 0 out of 100 Billion