The Undertaker

Like I'm sure it's the case for every single other reviewer around here, my sole reason for watching "The Undertaker" was because it stars the great (and late) Joe Spinell in a role very similar to the one he played in the legendary gore classic "Maniac" (1980). Joe Spinell may have appeared in several acclaimed A-listed cinematic landmarks, like "The Godfather", "Rocky" or Taxi Driver", but he'll always be most remembered for his role as the perverted, mother-obsessed psychopath Frank Zito. Presumably he was desperate to add another notorious horror role to his repertoire, as he allegedly lobbied intensively to be cast in the titular role, but it didn't quite work out as he hoped. By now "The Undertaker" is a forgotten horror movie from the 80s, and rightfully so because it's really boring, slow-paced and badly acted. Apart from being the local undertaker, Roscoe is also a deranged and megalomaniac killer who keeps the embalmed bodies of his victims hanging around in the basement like there's some kind of everlasting tea party going on! Roscoe and his murder patterns aren't exactly discrete or carefully planned, so there are many people that grow suspicious and attempt to stop him (subsequently his own nephew, a high-school teacher, a sleazy cinema owner and a couple of police officers) but they stupidly get themselves caught or killed as well. It's truly incomprehensible that "The Undertaker" is such a disappointment, as it basically contains all the necessary ingredients for success: a simple but effective plot, a very high body count, some gore, gratuitous nudity and a creep in the lead role! However, the whole film gets ruined due to slow-pacing, too many pointless boring scenes and an endless amount of inaudibly muttered dialogues/monologues. Not recommended, unless you feel the uncontrollable urge to track down and watch literally every 80s horror slasher ever made (which I'd understand if that's the case, by the way).

The Code Red version of the Undertaker is a stupid mess!!!They should be ashamed of putting this disc out!!The uncut version is available at FLESHWOUNDVIDEO.COM it is much better.Scenes are in the proper order,lots of gore and nudity as well.The Code Red version makes no sense at all especially the ending!? This is Joe Spinell's best movie,next to Maniac!I'm giving the uncut version 9 out of 10,sure the picture quality is not the best,also Spinell is clearly drunk in some scenes. But this just adds to the sleaziness of the movie. You think Code Red would have done a better job trying to find the uncut version.But they have put out a lot of crap movies, I heard they are calling it quits next year?? I hope its true,Code Red sucks!!

Talk about having a bad day: in the opening scene for The Undertaker, a woman gets a flat tyre in the middle of nowhere, but hasn't got a spare; a biker stops and offers to take her to a gas station, but instead tries to rape her; she runs away and flags down a car, asking the driver to take her to town, only her 'saviour' is none other than 'maniac' Joe Spinell as deranged mortician Roscoe. Next time we see the woman, she's on Roscoe's slab, throat cut, having her dead boobs fondled. How's about that then, guys and gals?

This exploitative intro perfectly sets the tone for the whole film, which delivers loads of female nudity (all the young women get their tops off at some point), some reasonably gory kills, and a sublimely scuzzy performance from Spinell as yet another greaseball lunatic, all shot in glorious sleaze-o-rama (voyeuristic POV shots, heavy breathing, grainy photography and lots of sweat).

Out to expose the psycho mortician is his nephew Nick (Patrick Askin), who goes to his college anthropology teacher Pam Hayes (Rebecca Varon) for help, asking her to come to the funeral home so that he can show her evidence of his uncle's crimes. Nick is unable to find Roscoe's polaroid collection of his victims, and so Pam remains unconvinced. But when Roscoe gets wind of their snooping, he adds them to his kill list - is that enough to convince you, Ms. Hayes?

While the psycho-killer plot is nothing to write home about, this one scores points for the following: Pam's lecture on necrophilia (luckily, no slide show), the naked chick tied to a tree and sliced open by a whimpering Roscoe, Roscoe pressing a girl's face onto her hot frying pan, Pam's shower scene, the revelation that Roscoe ejaculates over his victim's intestines, Pam's bff Mandy (Susan Bachli) naked in bed, a juicy 'knife in the eye' kill, a receipt spike through the neck, Mandy (in her underwear) being decapitated, a 'machete in the head' gag, the downbeat 'no-one gets out alive' attitude, and for giving Spinell his own catchphrase: 'You moron!'.

6.5/10, which I'll round up to 7 despite the very dumb closing shot in which one of Roscoe's victims, whose body has been hanging in the mortuary cellar for days, turns out to be still alive.

N.B. There are two versions of this film available: the Code Red cut is missing the gore and is padded out with footage from public domain movies; the Vinegar Syndrome release has got all of the gore and none of the padding (this is the version I saw).

The late, superior character actor Joe Spinell (of "Maniac" fame) had his last leading role in this obscure shocker, before dying at 52 of undetermined causes. Joe gives this bargain basement piece of excrement what little value it has, playing the part of "Uncle Roscoe", a mortician in a small New Jersey town. Dabbling in some necrophilia on the side, Roscoe resorts to murder to drum up business for his shabby funeral home. His nephew Nicky (Patrick Askin) develops suspicions about the old man, and relays them to his college professor, Pam Hayes (Rebeca Yaron).

Although fairly brief at an 83 minute running time, "The Undertaker" can be pretty tedious. It's mildly amusing at best, but considering the fact that it was never really completed, that's at least some sort of accomplishment. Still, as written by William James Kennedy (who also plays a supporting role), it relies on padding a LOT. Public domain titles like Roger Cormans' "The Terror" and especially the Bela Lugosi vehicle "The Corpse Vanishes" are showcased ad nauseum, the latter presumably because it helps to inspire Roscoe. There are also extended sequences of sexy young ladies exercising, and one excruciatingly overlong period of Mandy (Susan Bachli) exploring Roscoes' lair.

Overall, this comes off like somebody's bad home movie, and it's just as crudely edited as one could expect. There's some partial female nudity to keep some audience members in their seats, but the gore is quite mild. The music isn't that great but it still manages to be somewhat catchy. Most of the supporting characters and performances are pretty insipid, with Spinell being the only real professional in this bunch. (One might assume that he did this as a favor to someone). The ending is particularly bad.

Devotees of Spinell will want to see this for completions' sake, but they'd better keep those expectations REALLY low.

Five out of 10. (Spinell increases the rating by a point.)

"The Undertaker" is a lost and forgotten horror film with Joe Spinell.He plays crazy mortician with the penchant for necrophilia called Roscoe,who stalks and kills beautiful girls.His nephew tries to stop him.The film is clearly not as good as "Maniac",albeit there are some striking similarities between this one and Lustig's gruesome gorefest.The acting is truly awful with the exception of Spinell.The budget is extremely low and there is almost no gore.However there is plenty of nudity,so fans of low-budget slasher flicks won't be disappointed."The Undertaker" is also filled with many clips from "The Corpse Vanishes",which Roscoe watches everyday.Anyway, if you're a fan of Joe Spinell you may give this one a try.My rating:5 out of 10.