Da Hip Hop Witch

After watching this 'movie,' my brain hurts. If you attempt to watch it, you're taking your sanity into your own hands. It was shot on video, probably with a Sears beta-max recorder bought at a garage sale. It was 'edited' as if someone put the footage into a blender. It has ad-libbed 'performances,' including Eminem saying over and over again about how the witch putting her finger in his a$$, and Vanilla Ice looking like he wishes he could get cast in another Ninja Turtles movie. And yes, that IS Vanilla Ice. How's THAT for street cred? And it JUST WON'T END!!! It keeps going ON and ON and ON!!!!!

I had to watch this for my job, and I am seeking hazard pay from my employers. This could possibly be the worst film I've ever seen, and yes, I have seen Powder AND The Crow: City of Angels. I would've given this the rating it deserved, but IMDB won't let you give a 0.01 out of 10.

If you are going to watch this movie put it in fast forward and then everytime you see Eminem press play as he is the only thing worth watching in the whole movie. He is saying a story that is quite incoherant but quite hilarious. If you had any doubts that Enimem was screwed up this will clear everything up.

Da Hip Hop Witch may just be the single worst movie in history. This movie doesn't have even one person who can act in the least. I have been a fan of hip-hop since I was 10 years old & I'm a fan of many of the artists in this movie but after this I won't ever look at them in the same way again. The camera work sucked, the sound sucked, the story sucked, the editing sucked, the acting sucked and most of all this movie sucked.

Clearly, this is one of the worst films ever made. I remember seeing the trailer, and thinking it looked funny. I'd wanted to see it for years. Weeks ago, I found the DVD at Price Chopper for 3 bucks. I decided to get it, and wish I hadn't. This has the most lame attempts at humor I have ever seen. And the f bomb is dropped abut 30 times each minute. The plot is non existent...there is no plat. Most of the film is just annoying rappers talking about their encounters with Da Hip Hop Witch. Eminem is in it, and I hear that he wanted to have copies of this movie erased after he actually became famous. Not sure if it is true, but it wouldn't surprise me. This movie is totally painful. I hated it. I regret buying it, and I regret it deeply. I know this movie looks kind of funny, and me saying it is so bad will want to make you see it more...but it's not worth it. Trust me.

Da Hip Hop Witch (2000)

BOMB (out of 4)

Incredibly awful and rather pathetic "movie" about five idiot white people who go into the ghetto to look for the title creature. This witch just happens to stalks various rap artists so the white kids try to get famous by looking for her. This parody (?) of THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT is beyond awful in every way imaginable. The screenplay is awful. The acting is awful. The direction is awful. The entire intent of this thing is awful and for the life of me I can't understand what writer-director Dale Resteghini was trying to do other than get idiots like me to watch this film. What we've basically got is a bunch of scenes that make no sense thrown together and the "highlight" is seeing various hip hop artists talk about their encounter with the witch or stories they've heard about the witch. These include Eminem talking about how the witch tried to stick her butter finger up his butt. Really? Was this meant to be funny? Were we supposed to take this serious? Mobb Deep, Rah Digga, Pras, Killah Priest, Ja Rule and Vanilla Ice also show up. There's no question that this film wasn't made to try and win an Oscar but at the same time you'd hope for at least some cheap entertainment or fun. This movie really offers neither and it actually gets worse as it goes along. It's just mind-blowing that the director would make a film like this but, again, I'm sure it was for money. Even then, was there a reason for this to clock in at 90-minutes? The entire film looks incredibly cheap and from what I've read the director just pretty much showed up at the various artists' locations, threw them some money and then had them talk. It's clear none of them knew what the heck was going on as their stories just drag on and there's no point to any of them. DA HIP HOP WITCH is a complete piece of junk that probably ranks as the very worse I've ever seen. I at least can't think of another movie where less effort was done.