No One Sleeps

Let me start by saying something nice: Tom Wlaschiha, the film's lead, valiantly held his own in this muddled bit of tripe. Wlaschiha was not just up against the fact that he was having to perform in English, which is not his native language, but some of the worst writing, directing, editing and acting from the supporting cast (actually, calling them supporting is a contradiction of terms!) that the film industry has ever put in the can.

The list of what's wrong with the film is actually much too long to analyze completely here, but it's starts with the lame attempt to force a modern-day, urban story into an opera plot - how many times will film makers try this, before they realize that it's silly at best? Trying to link Puccini's Turandot with a murderous cover-up conspiracy of the theory that the US government was doing testing with the HIV virus that had been found in sheep on prison inmates is akin to linking Queen's song "We are the Champions" to the Watergate cover-up...in other words: hammering a square peg into a round hole. The only conspiracy that seemed to be going on was the fact that everyone in San Francisco, where the film is set, seemed to know this opera by heart, breaking into its catchy tunes at a drop of a hat. When the Italian tenor breaks into "Nessun Dorma" at the end of an opening night party, simply because some guy tells him that his performance was good, I rolled off my couch laughing! This only topped by the fact that the serial killers hums the ditty while killing his HIV+ victims.

The idea of using this theory as a cover-up conspiracy plot is not the problem here. In the hands of a good writer and director, this could actually make a thrilling plot along the lines of "JFK". Jochen Hick, who wrote, directed and produced the film (probably sewed the costumes, too), didn't seem to know if he wanted to make this a crime/thriller, or a character study of his lead character. Ultimately, he tried both and failed at both, ending up making just about every mistake a writer, as well as a director, could make - this all in just 104 minutes!

One thing I have to give Hick credit for: as much as I wanted to turn the damn DVD player off, I watched this baby to the bitter end, but please don't take that as a recommendation to do the same!

A film that every film school should use as a glowing example of: "don't let this happen to you!"

One has to wonder if at any point in the production of this film a

script existed that made any sense. Was the rough cut 3 hours

long and was it trimmed into the incoherent mess that survives?

Why would anyone finance this mess? I will say that Tom

Wlaschiha is a good looking young man and he does what he can

with the dialogue and dramatic (?) situations he is given. But

characters come and go for no apparent reason, continuity is

non-existent, and the acting, cinematography, and direction are (to

put it politely) amateurish. Not One Sleeps is an unfortunate

choice of title as it will probably prove untrue should anyone

actually attempt to actually watch this film.

"No One Sleeps" is perhaps the worst film I have ever seen. Looking past the extremely poor acting, shockingly poor (and often hilarious) screenplay, incredibly cheap and uninteresting cinematography and terribly generic serial killer plot, Mr. Hicks' film is obsessed with the morbid, tawdry parts of gay life - which is fine - but he never makes any kind of comment or statement on them. So what's the point? The use of Turandot throughout is so forced (and so annoying) that it becomes laughable. Really mind boggling how stupid this one was. Honestly, some of the worst acting I've ever seen projected on a screen - one wonders, however, whether to blame the actors or the piss-poor lines they've been given. Tom Wlaschiha, as the lead, does have his moments ... but they are rather few. I'm sure there are those who would defend this film by hiding behind its (obviously) small budget - but watch it and you'll know that's no excuse.

The plot is simply too convoluted to describe with any effectiveness (I figure, hey...if the writer didn't care enough to create a good script, why should I have to care about writing a good synopsis)? It seems as though this film were intentionally trying to fill some kind of affirmative-action quota fantasy; the lead detective characters are of course a tough, elderly Jewish lesbian and a strong black woman. Add in an evil corporation, government conspiracy, anti-Christian bigotry and well, you got yourself a steamy pile of celluloid that no one has ever heard about, let alone watched. Oddly, the lead character, Tom Wlaschiha, is known more for his side-character in "The Game of Thrones"...I would never have possibly imagined him carrying a lead role in any movie (and this is proof why he shouldn't). Just...no.

A not-uninteresting, if somewhat contrived premise -- a gay grad student comes to San Francisco to continue his late father's research into the alleged US govt. creation of the AIDS virus, happening to arrive just as a serial killer connected with the plot is starting his work. But the story is as muddled as the soundtrack, and the student has to be the most hapless and inept amateur sleuth in movie history: A key suspect is right under his very nose (not to mention other body parts) but it never occurs to him to investigate, or even be a little nervous....The S&M sex stuff has nothing to do with the story, it's just there for sensationalism. And some sort of special Oscar should be invented for performances of the badness of Irit Levy's as the detective.