The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys

The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys is one of those coming of age movies they don't make these days anymore - the story starts with a band of boys having fun and adventures, first love emerges, and in the end some tragic and dramatic turns shade the easy days of our young heroes. This fine movie reminds me of Bridge to Terabithia (starring young Josh Hutcherson and AnnaSophia Robb) or Stand by Me (1986). Detached from today's politics and agendas, The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys is a very funny, entertaining and touching movie. It's also fun to see Jena Melon, Kieran Culkin and the others in their young days. Jodie Foster and Vincent D'Onofrio are also rock solid as Sister and Father of the Catholic school, the young no-goods attend. Anyway, this one is a fine piece, and if you don't know it yet, put it on your to watch list - if you have any taste for such kind of movies. Exact rate: 7.5.

The Dangerous Lives of Alter Boys is kind of like a cross between The Virgin Suicides and Stand By Me. Set in the 70's (featuring many cool 70's haircuts) in small town Georgia, the story focuses on Francis, a 14-year-old dreamer and troublemaker. He and his pals, Tim, Wade, and Joey cope with life under the oppressive rule of one-legged nun Sister Assumpta (Jodie Foster) at the Puritan Christian high school they're unfortunate enough to attend.

One of their methods of escape is the 'The Atomic Trinity' comic book. Each of them have their own character with superpowers (such as The Muscle, Captain Asskicker and Skeleton Boy), battling against the tyrannical regime of Nunzilla/Pegleg (a gross caricature of Sister Assumpta). These fantasy stories make up the terrific animated sequences of the film. The cool thing is that they are not so totally removed from the reality of Francis, Tim, Wade and Joey.

The boys soon find their way into a lot of trouble though. After stealing the school's nun statue mascot the quartet plan to steal a cougar from the zoo and put in Sister Assumpta's office. A mad plan yes, but their determination and invention behind it is very clever.

Some scenes of the film are very emotional, so if you have soft spot you'll find it tough to get through the scene where Tim finds a dying dog by the side of the road or Francis reading a poem at the funeral.

Francis' relationship with Margie (the very cute Jenna Malone) also takes many curious and unique turns. The scene with the ghost watching them sleep was pleasingly weird.

Taken from the one and only book (posthumously) by Chris Fuhrman (a book I must get as soon as I see), The Dangerous Lives of Alter Boys is attractively shot, wonderfully acted and definitely worth getting.

The DVD is in 1.85:1 widescreen (strangely non-anamorphic, though the region 2 version is) with Dolby 5.1 sound and a mild bunch of extras.

I came across this indie gem one day at my local Blockbuster. I looked at it and it seemed like it would be an o.k. way to kill two hours. There was really nothing else in the videostore, so I decided to rent it. Boy, am I glad I did. I really appreciated the movie and related to it, after all I do go to a Catholic High School. 'The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys' is actually a great coming-of-age tale set in the Catholic school setting of the 1970s. Just by reading the title I thought it was about pedophile Catholic priests or something, but it's really about two friends who are the altar boys at their church/school and their adventures as they discover what's life is all about... or their interpretation of it.

The two boys in 'The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys' are Francis Doyle (Emile Hirsch - The Girl Next Door, The Emperor's Club) and Michael Sullivan (Kieran Culkin - Igby Goes Down, Home Alone). They are two fifteen year old rebels that have a passion for comics and writing and illustrating their own. They despise their tough-as-nails and strict one-legged Catholic nun school teacher, Sister Assumpta (played by Two Time Academy Award Winner Jodie Foster - The Accused, The Silence of the Lambs). The two boys make themselves their own creative superheroes in their comic and have Sister Assumpta be the evil motorcycle peddling nun from hell that the two superheroes battle, along with the boys' other two friends who provide superheroes for their comic too. The film switches from real-life to the creative comic book setting during conflicts in the story, and I think that it's done very stylish and neat. The two boys rebel against their teacher and misbehave in front of her constantly, especially Michael (Culkin) who drives her absolutely nuts. The boys rebel by doing other things that the nun doesn't know about like, drink, smoke pot and steal and damage church property. The film contains some funny moments, and as the story unfolds Francis (Hirsch) becomes interested in the girl who lives next door to him Margie (Jena Malone - Saved!, Cold Mountain), a cool, nice, beautiful and independent girl with a deep and dark secret that challenges Francis. I won't give it away though.

There are many great aspects to this film. Most notably is the acting. Emile Hirsch is nothing short of incredible as the genuine misfit Francis and Jena Malone is equally as good as the sweet yet complex Margie. Jodie Foster is hysterical and always a pleasure to watch as the uptight Catholic school nun and 'Law & Order: Criminal Intent's' Vincent D'Onofrio has a somewhat small role as an interesting Catholic school priest who smokes like a chimney. The stand-out of the film however is Kieran Culkin. He is definitely the most talented performer in his family, and he gives an astounding performance as Michael Sullivan that puts him on the top of the list of the best child actors working in Hollywood currently. Culkin gave an equally amazing performance in Burr Steer's neurotic and darkly hilarious film debut 'Igby Goes Down' which was released the same year as 'The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys'. Peter Care does a fabulous job with this, his feature film debut, and the valley's Todd MacFarlane (creator of Spawn) provides the comic book illustration for the animated scenes.

All in all this is a great coming-of-age movie, with a lot of heart and intelligence. It has some flaws like dragging a little towards the beginning, being a little unclear towards the end and having some freaky and unnecessary ghost sequence towards the middle of the film. I'd recommend this to anyone who attends Catholic High School because it is a great movie but it's also something you could relate to. Next time you are at the videostore and can't find anything to watch, maybe pick up 'The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys'. Chances are you won't regret it. Grade: B+

MADE MY TOP 300 LIST AT #245

THE DANGEROUS LIVES OF ALTAR BOYS, based on the only novel of the late author Chris Fuhrman, gives a great portrayal of the ups and downs of adolescence. Despite veering wildly away from the novel, the film does a great job of transposing moments of boredom-inspired adolescent lunacy with aching transcendence (the scene in which Francis, the protagonist, akwardly talks to his dream girl Margie for the first time made MY heart flutter, and I haven't been 14 for a while!)Still, I wished that the scriptwriters had stuck closer to the book in some respects, especially detailing Francis' home life, which would have given greater insight into WHY he uses his drawing as an escape(and he has a heavy-duty reason to escape). For the guy who wondered in his review about Tim and Francis' home lives, let's just say that Francis' parents are WAY more disfunctional in the book than in the movie. Even with the parents' virtual absence from the movie, there are still great moments that were more or less transferred from book to screen: the scene in Margie's bedroom(although a bit more explicit in the book);Tim and Francis' finding the dying dog by the highway and Tim's subsequent soliloquy; the fateful journey into the wildlife preserve. Painful, beautiful, and true. See this one.

"Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys" is very similar to "Stand By Me," with the nice addition of a non-stereotyped girl and a stereotyped nun (played by producer Jodie Foster) in the mix. Young love is shown the sweetest I've seen in a long time (oy, I'm still apologizing to a certain boy in my head when he was so sweet to me at that age and I didn't know how to handle it; oh well, I didn't have a script based on a book to follow.) Emile Hirsch and Jena Malone are marvelous, especially with the very serious sides of their lives, though the lousy parenting is only vaguely shown with shouting. While the gambits of their crew are a bit unbelievable as they try to put fantasy into their real lives, their fantasy comic life through Todd McFarlane animation is a lot of fun (I was a fan of McFarlane's HBO series "Spawn.") I've never seen a super-hero with such sensitive eyes! (originally written 6/23/2002)