Urban Flesh

Any Exploitation/cult-Horror fans out there with little to no patience for comic-relief, and for those of you who are looking for a gruesome, unforgiving gore-fest, with no redeeming qualities, then Urban Flesh is for you, and only you. If you take my advice, and give this French-Canadian nightmare a try, and if I am in fact right, and you come to the conclusion that Urban Flesh is the keenest Horror flick ever, then chances are good that no one will ever love you and you will most likely never find happiness of any kind. And now, I suppose this is the part where I explain what this film is about. Well, here goes nothing (literally). A group of killers go around killing and cannibalizing random people, in a very, very gory fashion, with seemingly endless scenes involving people standing around, devouring body parts, with unnecessarily graphic, smacking noises in the background, the end. That's practically it... nay, that's literally it. Oh yeah!! It was also shot on video... which come to think of it, does not help this movies case whatsoever, that is, unless you're one of those freaks who likes that sort of thing, which would sort of make sense if you seriously consider a movie such as this to be that keen. A homage to the legendary, ferocious Italian Gore from the late-70's to mid-80's, which pretty much clears up any questions regarding why this movie has zero humor, and even less personality. Taking all that into account, Urban Flesh could pass for some form of a success. As we all know, the golden age of Italian Gore was a bit on the boring side, yet I feel compelled to recommend the timeless epics of Joe D'Amato (Beyond The Darkness, Erotic Nights Of The Living Dead, Anthropophagus). Boring or not, Urban Flesh is truly the most repulsive thing to come out of Canada... not that I'm an expert on Canadian gore, or anything, but this one would push the limit anywhere, even Florida. As one of those who considers themselves desensitized in the way of fictional gore, I don't use this word very often, but this film would definitely qualify as "gross". So, Urban Flesh, for what it is, is a success, but I honestly couldn't imagine a snuff film being any less interesting. 5/10

The worst thing about this miserable movie has nothing to do with the bad acting, horrible direction, clunky pacing or cheap effects. All of this, of course, add my overall dislike of this film. What pushes it over into pure hatred comes in the form of the lead actress. Smokin' hot, she spends much of the film getting groped, eaten out, consuming penis and otherwise engaging in all sorts of sexual activity. BUT...apparently she told the director no nudity. I don't have a problem with no nudity. It's not the primary reason for watching gore flicks. I DO, however, have a problem with an actress taking a bath in bloody water (it not clear why it's bloody) supposedly diddling herself...with her clothes on. It's an "are you serious???" moment that defies logic. A few minutes later, she emerges wearing a towel.

This seems like carping but this an billed as an "EXTREME" movie. For me, EXTREME means extreme. It's not just about how much animal guts your budget can afford. It's an ethos. And when the lead actress engages in all kinds of sex but keeps her clothes on with no character development to make sense of it - you've lost your EXTREME credentials.

Outside of that, the movie plods along with tons of animals guts, leering, faux- sadistic acts and Eastern European accents. I watched the last half of the movie at 4x speed. Even that was a waste of time.

i can't even begin to point out all of the flaws with this SOV tripe. but if i have to start somewhere: primarily, it's not entertaining, which renders void the need to waste 90 minutes suffering through it.

the story is...well, there is no story. the plot is: some cannibals go around the city torturing and eating people, while some toehead cop - who must have been one of the crews' dad - tries to find them. nice.

the acting is stiffer than straight vodka, the fx are - understandably, due to the video's pedigree - amateur, the editing was pathetic. to cover up for terrible shooting, there are entire sequences that are dissolved. either that or it was a pathetic attempt at a montage, which begs the question: why the hell is there a montage there? style? absolutely not. how can i be so certain? because the rest of the video is so pathetic, how could a conscious effort at directorial flourish suddenly manifest itself inexplicably?

the opening sequence lasts about 5 minutes too long, and i think it's about 5 minutes and 30 seconds. it involves 2 girls sitting in a extremely poorly lit bar, while the camera remains at a nice wide shot, so as to further obscure anything that might have been seen if the camera and lights were closer to the subject. and it just drags on like that. why? obviously to pad out the running time and cover the fact that you're actually watching an extremely amateur sov waste of time and videotape. i wouldn't be surprised if it had been shot on vhs-c.

i know i'm avoiding the ultimate point of this video, which is to shock and revolt, but my point is: it is totally without any merit. the guinea pig series is at least shot well, and fairly convincingly, by obvious semi-pro shooters and directors who has a keen eye for real brutality.

another glimpse into the genius of this video are the intertitles which pop up annoyingly and pretentiously every few minutes, with witty quotes from such staples of the MENSA community as marilyn manson, and razor (not the wrestler, the crap-rock band).

as a canadian, it makes me terribly angry to see that useless, talentless, mindless garbage like this is coming out of canada, as it will no doubt reflect on our country negitively to any foreigner that views it.

on behalf of my country, i sincerely apologize, and hope this word of caution will stave you from certain ennui.

A Internet pal of mine sent me this little gem and said , "check this out 'cause it's brutally gory and right up your alley." Now don't get me wrong, I'm not a full time gorehound, but sometimes I like a good exploitative gory bloodfest movie, where plot and stuff are secondary and in-your-face shock-value gore reigns supreme. So I tossed an eye at it, and sure enough, it delivered the goods. And not only that, it delivered them with some excellent heavy music. Very well done for independent non-existent budget film-makers!!! Still, I'm not gonna let my girlfriend touch it. Even though her favorite movies are ENTRAILS of the VIRGIN and EBOLA SYNDROME, she would surely loose it with the fetus scene... So be warned!!!

For all you gore freaks out there this is an artistic way of getting the goods!!! Alexandre has a talent for making your stomach turn with FLARE!!! everybody who enjoys messy horror films will appreciate what the filmmakers had to do to get this film done on next to no budget. The gore effects are good for what they had and the old detective was interesting to watch. this film was shot on the gritty streets of montreal, quebec canada and is the perfect back drop for a demented tale of cannibalism. This movie was banned in 3 countries!!!! Including the country it was made in! I don't think it should have been because i've seen worse that hasn't. Watch this film if your into gore horror!