The Newcomers

Every once in a while -- perhaps more frequently than that -- you watch a movie and marvel at the the notion that someone would spend the time and resources to transform a stunningly incompetent script into a feature film. This particular film is so lacking in plot and character development that it is almost a marvel to behold. The motivations of the characters are laughably non-existent. And there is a pervading blandness to the whole affair that would send even the most undemanding young viewers into deep coma.

I can't imagine why I took the time to slog through this unfortunate excuse for entertainment, although I did get a little bit of exercise from constantly shaking my head and wondering how much worse a "family film" could get. How Kate Bosworth and Jeff Fahey got involved is a question best answered by their respective agents.

By the way, the packaging on this DVD suggests, perhaps, that this is a "boy and his dog" movie. It is not. The dog is a random addition that is every bit as disconnected to the "story" as I was.

Avoid this at all costs, and add 90 precious minutes to your life.

This movie should come with a health warning - if you're diabetic or have similar health problems that require you to avoid sugar then you need to avoid this movie at all costs. This movie is so sugary sweet it's almost sickening. That's not its only problem though. This movie is so contrived, so derivative, so full of stereotyped characters that you will be forgiven for thinking you've seen it before. You have in a way. You've seen this all before and seen it done much better. There are no surprises here. You could write this yourself. You can guess what is going to happen well before it does - and you'll be correct. A special mention has to be made of the soundtrack, which sounds like one of those syrupy tunes a cheap phone will offer as a ring tone. Maybe that's where it came from. Anyway, it is excruciating and just doesn't let up! Possibly the only interesting thing this movie has to offer is the opportunity to see a number of now-well-known actors before they hit the big time. I guess this movie is the kind of thing you have to do on your way up in Hollywood.

It's impossible to recommend this movie to anyone looking for something remotely entertaining. However, if you're in the market for something bland, colourless and action free that won't tax your brain cells or emotions in any conceivable way, then this is the movie for you.

It's a sadly clumsy little film, with almost no subtlety. Sickly sweet - almost every scene makes you wince with its superficiality (and there's an amateurish and mawkish musical score to make sure you realise this). The real world has a lot more grit and interest than this. I felt embarrassed for those involved in making it. Sorry, but it's the sort of rubbish film that makes you realise how wonderful and precious good films are!

Boy this movie is about as exciting as 'New - Improved! Vanilla Pudding'. And SO much is SO wrong.

They can't afford to live in Boston - so they move to Vermont? What? And into a house that would run close to a million dollars there with some of the nation's highest property taxes, very mediocre pay levels, and massive taxes on everything. Believe me, if you can't afford to live in Boston, you SURE can't afford Vermont.

Not one person in the whole movie talks with a Vermont accent. Not. A. One. One thing was accurate, when the family showed up at their new house there, the neighbors immediately dissed them as 'flatlanders'. THAT is truth. Anyone who moves there is called a 'flatlandah' and advised that no matter how long they live there, they 'can never be a real Vahmontah' and being told "real Vahmontahs like this' and "real Vahmontahs do that" etc. The place is like a giant clique and they are not eager to welcome flatlanders and that would include people from Boston.

When the young gas station attendant rushes out to pump the gas into the family car... that's not happening there OR anyplace else.

The family DOES go to a church with a woman pastor, that part is realistic, although attending church in Vermont is about as popular as sword swallowing.

But to sum up, this movie is beyond banal and does not in any way represent any sort of a realistic view of Vermont. And in defense of Vermont, the people in the movie are so dumb it's not even fair to real "Vahmontahs". Honestly, this is just the dumbest movie. It could have been written by third-grade class.

And not a single person in the whole movie speaks like a 'real Vahmontah'.

I like this movie a lot. Very simple story and simple family. I like this kind of simple story very much. Simple happy family with a pet. ❤