Frost: Portrait of a Vampire

Im one of those suckers that Always needs to see a new Vamp movie, just cant help myself i guess, but seeing this film made my past "all time worst" look like a dream (witch was Cross Roads by the way). The actors cant act, the story dont hold up, and the producer may just need a new job. It's all about making a 80'ish action hero look cool, walking around with a beard and sunglasses that any sign person vold rather die than wear, (i know it's suppose to be in the 80's but this is just a joke) and if this was'nt enuf, the "hero" has even less emotional expressions than Steven Seagal. To top it of the special effects are like what an 8 year old could do.

The movie's abysmal idiocy is not as terrifying as the fact that some of those who comment on it here on IMDb actually like it (like mortalli and coyote13). It's not just bad or disappointing. Someone should be made to PAY for releasing this onto the market. I actually went by Blockbuster's and complained, demanding my money back and for them to take the movie off the shelf. I LOVE the vampire concept, and stalk video stores for anything of the sort, knowing that I will be able to filter any bad things about such a movie out, and enjoy the good parts that I so love. Well, not this time. Absolute torture. Avoid at all costs. Seriously. It's not even funny.

This is one of those rare movies that has absolutely nothing to recommend it. From beginning to end there are no high points. There aren't even points high enough to be called low - it is unrelentingly abysmal.

The acting is so bad you wonder if the cast members are even allowed to join Actors' Equity. I've seen better set design in high school plays. Continuity was awful, costumes were awful, everything was awful. Every possible detail was neglected or overlooked.

It drew an R rating - ostensibly for violence and nudity - but if that's what you're looking for, don't bother. The violence is tame and so poorly choreographed and directed that you're more likely to yawn than gasp. And you can see as much nudity on prime time broadcast TV. The actors aren't even good looking. Not even the gratuitous nude (her whole part was gratuitous not just her nude scene).

Do yourself a favor and leave this one alone.

This movie was absolute crap. Nothing in it makes sense. It's funny because there's just no point. Read the tagline! What the hell does that even mean? Were they trying to make a horrible film?

The lead actor, whose name is Jack Frost in the movie, looks like a cross between George Michael and Kevin Smith. It's all downhill form there. They try to incorporate some sort of ridiculous war story into the plot, and it doesn't work at all. All of the actors just look goofy and the writing just makes no sense at all. They do throw in some nudity for good measure though, and to keep people from turning the movie off. I imagine they were trying to make Frost into some sort of cult hero like Ash or something, but, no, not even close. He walks around with his stupid sunglasses killing people. It's all really, really lame. So, yeah, they got all that. Then they got some top of the line computer effects. The helicopters in the movie will blow you away, I totally couldn't tell they were fake, same goes for the bats. I couldn't believe that the director, or whoever the hell it was did a special feature w/ commentary for the special effects. They're laughable at best. The whole movie is laughable actually. Gary Busey's total screen time is about 2 minutes. 2 non-consecutive minutes.

If you're looking for a laugh, definitely check this out. The complete non-sensical-ness(word?) all will have you cracking up.

FROST is absolute crap from frame one. This pathetic, boring excuse for a movie is possibly one of the worst ever made, and not in the "so bad it's good" way, either, but in the "so bad, I shut it off after 20 minutes" way that renters find so commonplace these days. I walk into the video store and find endless rows of movies so bad or boring like this but beautifully packaged... Inside, they are all the same homogenized, no talent crap that makes me sick. With so much of this mindless junk clogging up the new release shelves, it's no wonder films are now called "product" in the industry. Why? Because there's no artistry, creativity or desire to "push the envelope" involved whatsoever anymore. Anyway, FROST is poorly acted (and when I say poor, I mean rock bottom), poorly written, poorly edited, and poorly directed. The CGI is awful and looks like a cheap video game. From Gary Busey's star billing on the box, I was hoping he was going to play a vampire, not DAREDEVIL! The only good thing about this film was the main title sequence, but even that was ruined by cutting away from it back to Gary Busey talking. The title didn't even come up until after all the rest of the credits were long gone! Way to ruin the only good thing this movie had going for it. Avoid FROST like the plague!!!