Le couvent

Let me begin by saying that I dont believe a movie needs to be "good" to be entertaining. I myself am in love with some of the worst movies ever made, and find myself watching them over and over again. If you'd like to know what they are, drop me a line.

This movie, however, is miserable. The gore isnt gorey. The Horror isnt horrifying. The jokes arent funny (and are WAY out of place).

This movie was given a lot of hype a few years ago. Trailers of the film were all over the web, and they were interesting. It was hinted that it was too graphic and violent to be released, and "oh, please help us find this future horror masterpiece a distributer before it fades away into obscurity and is never seen." Well, maybe that would have been best.

This movie semed to steal the plot of "Night of the Demons" and mix it up with some banal Scooby Doo episode. They even offer characters ripped out of Saturday Night Live's "Goth Talk".

It opens in 1959 with the torching of a all girls Catholic school/convent by a disgruntled student. She hauls guns, gas and explosives into the chapel and destroys everyone in sight, all to the tune of Leslie Gore's "You Don't Own Me". Next, we are brought into present times with two girls, one a simple sorority pledge and her former best friend, a goth chick. The goth chick is the only interesting/sympathetic character, so of course she is the first to go. Some more 'zany teens" show up, and all head off to "The Convent". Its become the local urban legend hot spot and make-out point.

That is really all you need to know. You know where its going...you know where it's gone. Someone gets possessed, they, in turn, possess someone else, and so on, and so on, and so on. Until someone has to run and get the chick that torched the place 40-some years ago in the first place.

Its just horrible. Im so sorry for Coolio, who has a sad little cameo in the film. Im so sorry for Adrienne Barbeau who apparently doesnt have anything else to look foreward to.

Ahhh, this movie is in every way completely ridiculuous. The Actors seemed to have a good time, and so did I. It's very reminiscent of the better low-budget 80's stuff, with cheesy acting, cheesy dialog, and cheesy humor. But I love that kind of stuff. And clocking in at about 1 hour and 12 mins., it's very fast-paced. I noticed that the male characters were incredibly stupid, while most of the females were pretty smart. I thought this was hilarious and made the film kind of a parody of the aforementioned 80's flicks. If you like stuff like "Night of the Demons" or maybe "Return of the Living Dead," "The Convent" is in the same spirit. You get to see lots of goofy stuff, but the monsters are pretty cool, and sort of serious, and it's got a pretty good bloodflow. And Adrienne Barbeau is a blast as the vet demon killer. My only complaint is that the ending seems a bit rushed, and poorly edited. But Mr. Mendez is one to watch.

A group of dumb, sex straved teenagers break into an abandon convent and accidently raise demons that proceed to kill them. The only person they can turn to is Adrienne Barbeau. The only person to ever escape from the demons alive.

Boring, poorly done film is certainly different, but different isn't always good. Sloopy gore effects, editing that looks like it was done by a chainsaw, and some of the most annoying characters ever demolish whatever chances it had. Adrienne Barbeau livens things up when she finally arrives on screen and gives the film a touch of class, but alas it is too late and too little screen time for her.

Rated R; Graphic Violence, Adult Themes, Sexual Situations, Nudity, and Profanity.

Me, my sister, and our aunt rented this and 3 other movies...I wanted a horror movie and my aunt wanted something that was current (because she's seen probably all of the 70's horror flicks) so we rented The Convent.

I had a feeling that it'd be cheap and crappy and I was right.

The whole movie had us laughing so hard! I don't remember the last time I laughed that hard and for that long! Also, I noticed two references to other horrors movies in there--Halloween, when the nun walks up to the little girl in the graveyard she has on the Michael Myers mask. And when the nun walks up to the girl in the desk in that flashback scene she spews green stuff on her (The Exorcist.) This movie will have you in tears laughing! (Well it did for at least me, my sister, and my aunt!) I also think it was the director's intention to make it campy fun I dunno if he intended it to be an actual horror film.

Or maybe he did and knew that it'd turn out to be a crappy D horror flick so he went crazy with the budget and script! I found this extremely entertaining and gave it a 7!

"The Convent" is a very UNoriginal but fun splatter-horror flick with the usual formula of dumb teenagers awakening an ancient type of evil they can't possibly deal with. The very cool and mood-setting opening sequence shows a young girl gunning down a bunch of nuns and a priest before setting fire to the convent/boarding school they're living in. The urban legend says that this girl – Christine – went insane after a forced abortion and that the convent is haunted by the restless souls of the nuns ever since. Now, 40 years later, a group of crazy college students breaks into the abandoned convent to play fraternity jokes, but soon they get possessed by demons in nuns' clothes and they're recruited to assist in performing virgin-sacrifices to Satan almighty. There's few tension or atmosphere but the script luckily enough inserts a lot of OTT-humor and ingenious ideas (a bunch of unbelievably clumsy devil-worshipers!) that makes this routine horror flick worth watching. The make-up effects are quite grotesque and nasty, with blood spurting out of every body hole and heads that are chopped off by the dozen. The dark and ramshackle convent makes an excellent horror location and the nun-costumes are really terrific. The true heroine of this film is Adrienne Barbeau ("The Fog", "Escape from N.Y") as the skilled demon-killer who comes to save the day. There equally are splendid cameo appearances for rapper Coolio and Bill Mosely ("House of 1.000 Corpses"). "The Convent" isn't exactly fundamental viewing, but it's good and unscrupulous horror-entertainment that fans will surely appreciate.