Geppetto

OK, so the costumes and make-up were horrible?So what? I got over it. It's not the best movie out there, but considering I've never been able to keep my brain on in the original Pinnochio(in fact, I found myself, still with my eyes open, waking up and going "How long was I out? and once "Where am I?" and a lot of "What was I thinking?"s), it wasn't that bad. Too bad it seemed a one time thing. Drew Carey, one of my favourite comedians, doesn't do a lot of looking around, laughing or jerking motions like on his show(which doesn't mean the show is bad, a like it a lot), but instead is surprisingly strong if not as believable as other choices, and focused. I despised the Fairy woman(I forget the name) and Pinocchio himself gave a bad performance, not believable at all. But Brent Spinner and a short, good, but a little clumsy appearance by Wayne Brady keep the score from falling. His role a little unnecessary, the Magician was a good time filler. Brent was definitely the best actor out there, out to make a hard, almost no-reason-behind-his-actions character rise beyond all else.

But please: Get a new composer! For the love of God!

What's wrong with "Geppetto ?" I may be blindly faithful as a Drew Carey fan, but this is his best dramatic talent and first family film that I know of, but I think he does a great job. His singing may not be Madonna, but would you want your kids watching "The Drew Carey Show" with its humor on sex, drinking and abuse in the workplace. Julia Louise Dreyfuss also shines in this as a cross between Glinda the Good Witch and Tinkerbell. Rene Auberjonais plays an eccentric inventor blind to Drew's true wishes, and Brent Spiner plays the human version of the animals in the cartoon who kidnapped Pinocchio. Drew's buddy, Wayne Brady, makes a cameo, but a lot of gumption has to got to the young actor ( I forget his name ) who had to endure all that body make-up. He should have a fairly successful career ahead of him or at least a supporting role on Drew's TV show.I don't know about you, but this movie counts in my list of top children's movies along with "Mary Poppins," "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang," "Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory," and "The Wizard of Oz."

I have to say that I really enjoyed this movie, and thought it was much better than the Jonathan Taylor Thomas version. While the JTT one had better special FX, this one had much better direction and script-writing. Also the fact that it was a musical made it all that much more enjoyable. Brent Spiner (Star Trek TNG's Data) was wonderful as Stromboli. And Rene Auberjonois (Star Trek DS9's Odo) was magnificent as Buonragazzo. I highly recommend this film, and will probably buy it on video.

The Disney folks must be applauded for reviving the live-action movie musical (albeit on television); it wasn't hard to improve on John Huston's gruesome film of ANNIE, but the Disney version actually seemed an improvement on the overrated Broadway show. And it's always fun to see stars not primarily known their for singing and dancing kick up their heels (if you haven't seen Kathy Bates' spectacular turn in ANNIE, rent it now.) So it's disheartening to report that GEPPETTO isn't even in the ballpark. Ostensibly a retelling of the Pinocchio story from his father's point of view, it will probably bore kids and puzzle most adults.

Admirably, Drew Carey as Geppetto displays none of his sitcom or stand-up personae, but hasn't found any persuasive replacement. It doesn't help that the character as written is pretty much a simpering wimp or that his wig appears to be the one originally worn by Patty Duke as the American twin on her old TV series; Carey could be auditioning for a biopic about The Turtles. In fact, the whole production has the look and sound of the kind of expensively cheesy sixties musicals that helped bury the genre: technically slick and impressive without being attractive or appealing. The tone, however, is pure nineties: guilty parents can only find happiness by learning to obey their children.

Hearing just a few bars each of "When You Wish Upon a Star" and "I've Got No Strings" here is enough to illustrate how uninspired Stephen Schwartz's score is. Schwartz seems at fault too for pushing Carey, who has a more than adequate singing voice, beyond his range; he could and should have sounded a lot more comfortable. As a hazily-conceived Blue Fairy, Julia Louis-Dreyfus attempts an unsuccessful homage to Billie Burke in THE WIZARD OF OZ, but also reveals a very pretty soprano behind the affected diction. Poor Usher Raymond gets stuck with the worst song, and though he looks like he could dance up a storm he's barely given the chance. Brent Spiner, with vocal chops to spare, comes off best, but then again he is playing the villain (and gets the best hair, too.)

It would be churlish to complain about Seth Adkins' whiny performance as Pinocchio; nearly all of the child actors have been directed to whine and sulk brattily, the better to manipulate their supplicatory parents. But the sheer awfulness of his costume and makeup is indicative of the production's creative clumsiness. With a grotesquely streaked face and awkward, artificial "puppet" joints, Pinocchio looks less like a little wooden boy than the unfortunate victim of some horrible real-life disease.

'Geppetto' was cute, but did we really need a new Pinocchio? NO. Is this age the age of remakes? YES. Julia Louis-Dreyfus was radiant as the Blue Fairy (the female less-than-equal to Jiminy Cricket) and her voice is beautiful, which goes well with the dress. That was the only thing that was great about the movie. The graphics are cheap. The added storyline and new songs, however, were a new treat. I liked it, but it wasn't the greatest ever. Want a good movie? Rent the original.