Destins croisés

I've read all the reviews of this film and wonder at some of them. I wonder why people think women's films are somehow exclusive to women, that men would not understand them. I wonder why others think a chick flick is somehow inferior to so called male films.

Women's films represent the most critical event in human relationships. We need to understand dreams, broken dreams, promises, broken promises, aspirations, reduced aspirations, truth between people, lies we tell, moral paths followed, moral paths abandoned, elation, depression, acceptance, rejection, power and pain. That's quite a list to get into about 90 minutes.

This film centers around 2 women who have endured a prickly relationship. Iris (Sally Field) divorced her husband after 26 years of marriage because she was bored with him and had an affair. The film makes clear that she made a mistake in not accepting 1/2 his net worth and alimony. Because she was "stupid", she took job housekeeping for a woman (Paula -- Judy Davis) who was brittle, unfeeling, arrogant, bossy and hopelessly unsympathetic to what Field might be going through (which included debt that would make most of us think of bankruptcy). Iris will endure almost anything except intrusion into her life.

That is the beginning of her introduction to the problems of humanity. Field cares enough about her to become angry and correct her (Paula). The film gently shifts as Iris declares her own needs. Iris begins to distance herself from Paula by developing outside interests, and in so doing strengthens herself to deal with Paula's collapse when her husband leaves her.

Paula must at last face herself, and what she sees is devastatingly destructive in its thoroughness. Her pain consumes her. Iris treats her with compassion, though Paula does not think so. She forces by constant nagging to get Paula out and their friendship such as it is, develops through anger to a deep honesty.

In the end, this film is about failure, about betrayed trust, about ignoring the reality of current circumstances, about getting up off the floor and breathing in and breathing out (as Tom Hanks said), about making the best of what is near us. It does not take divorce and pain to reach that conclusion. It takes only recognition of our own humanity.

I saw this last spring ('02) when I rented it from Blockbuster and really thought it a good film. It's a film from Showtime television so it just goes to show how much better pay TV is than basic. Sally & Judy (both nominees at the Emmys and Screen Actors Guild awards for best actress in a TV movie or a miniseries) turn in the best performances as Iris Prue (Field) and Paula Tanner (Davis), two women who you'd think would be the most unlikely pair of girlfriends. Iris is a middle-aged woman who ends up broke after filing for divorce and gets burned after a failed relationship with a man she's too good for and takes a position as housekeeper for Paula at her vacation house in up-state New York. Paula's a frigid, short-fused, frustrated-with-herself socialite who's going through a marriage that's heading down hill... FAST!!! and has a rebellious pre-20s daughter, Beth, who's heading for heartbreak and serious self-destruction. Iris and Beth at first are at odds but then become good friends. Meanwhile, Iris meets and falls in love with Jack (Winston Rekert), the first real man she's met in her life, possibly and things go well until she and Paula come to terms with their relationship. This was a very good film (8/10) that may just become one of those "women films" (I HATE that stereotype) that even us guys will end up liking. I want my mom and grandma to see it, too.

When I cut on Lifetime, I said, "Oh, well, just a Sally Field movie on." However, as I became involved in the movie, I realized that the story was captivating--as was Sally Field. She remains very attractive, and she can stimulate a range of emotions in viewers.

The movie was not predictable, because there were several times I thought I knew the next step--but each time I was wrong. So the film moved well past soap opera status.

My only criticism: Her professional advancement seemed a bit too rapid. Other than that, I rate the story very highly, and rank her acting A plus.

This movie was produced by women, for women, about women. It was made for Showtime and is clearly targeted at women in the 35+ age category. It is a good character study of two women and their stormy relationship as employer and housekeeper. Iris Prue (Sally Field) is starting a new life. She divorced her husband and abandoned her comfortable life to seek love and fulfillment with her paramour. Unfortunately, after she gave up everything, her new love didn't work out. She seeks employment as a live-in housekeeper, and she is hired by Paula Tanner (Judy Davis). Paula is an angry, rude and oppressive woman, who goes through housekeepers faster than she goes through laundry. Iris is desperate to keep this job because she has nowhere else to go, and dutifully endures Paula's condescending abuse.

Paula alienates everyone, so it is no surprise that both her daughter and husband can't stand her. Ultimately, her life unravels as her daughter runs away and her husband leaves her. Iris, whom she has completely alienated, is the only person to whom she can turn for support. The rest of the story revolves around their tempestuous relationship and eventual transformation.

Director Susan Seidelman (TV's `Sex in the City') keeps the story interesting, deftly avoiding bogging down, as is often the case in such character studies. Certain parts are very raw and real, capturing feelings only a woman would understand. She is especially sensitive in portraying the difficulties between mothers and daughters. However, though meticulous at capturing the deep emotions resulting from the characters' conflict, Seidelman rushes through the resolution to the point where Paula turns into a completely different person in the span of 10 minutes of screen time.

The acting was superb. Sally Field gives a wonderful performance as the flawed and self-doubting Iris, who is determined to keep her life from disintegrating despite her foolish mistakes. Field captures the complexities of Iris' character, a woman both desperate and proud. As good as Field is, Judy Davis is even better. She is arrogant, insolent and mean, but shows subtle signs that it is all to compensate for her deep-seated insecurity. Her portrayal of Paula's depression and angry blaming of others for her own shortcomings is brilliantly done.

I rated this film a 7/10. I enjoyed it, but I was disappointed by how Seidelman ties up the ending in such a neat little package, ultimately producing characters that bear no resemblance to the imperfect people that we spent so much time getting to know. I believe that relationships can be transforming, but this requires an absurd leap of faith.

Women should see this movie with a female friend. It is probably destined for a long run on the Lifetime Channel. Most men won't get it, and they will probably need at least three bathroom breaks while blithely suggesting you keep the recorder running in their absence. Save this one for girls' night out.

This movie is awesome. A Divorcée meeting a new love, trying to overcome the mistakes of her past. She is spawning new friendships in a new town, One turning point was when she decided to go to the reading night at the book store. A pompous, starchy, rich bitch who forms a lasting bond of friendship with her house keeper. A couple of reverse rolls--what more could you ask for. A real tear jerker at times. Sally Field has always been one of my favorite actresses and continues to be after seeing this movie. Some of the actors/actresses portrayed, I had never seen before--but I will look for them in the future--in more movies.